The X-Files

Fox Mulder

1993.09.10    

David Duchovny

Season One

Scully introducing herself: Agent Mulder. I’m Dana Scully. I’ve been assigned to work with you.
Fox Mulder: Well isn’t it nice to be suddenly so highly regarded. So who did you tick off to get stuck with this detail, Scully?
Scully: Actually I’m looking forward to working with you. I’ve heard a lot about you.
Mulder: Oh really? I was under the impression that you were sent to spy on me.

Scully: The girl obviously died of something. If it was natural causes it’s plausible that there was something missed in the post-mortem. If she was murdered it’s plausible there was a sloppy investigation. What I find fantastic is that there are any answers beyond the realm of science. The answers are there. You just have to know where to look.
Mulder: That’s why they put the “I” in FBI. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Scully. Bright and early. We leave for the very plausible state of Oregon at 8am.

Scully: You’re saying that time disappeared? Time can’t just disappear. It’s a universal invariant! The car starts up
Mulder: Not in this zip code.

Mulder: I was twelve when it happened. My sister was eight. She just disappeared out of her bed one night. Just gone. Vanished. No note, no phone calls, no evidence of anything.
Scully: You never found her?
Mulder: Tore the family apart. No one would talk about it. There were no facts to confront, nothing… to offer any hope.
Scully: What did you do?
Mulder: Eventually I went off to school in England. I came back, got recruited by the Bureau. Seems I had a natural aptitude for applying behavioral models to criminal cases. My success allowed me a certain freedom to pursue my own interests. That’s when I came across the X-Files.
Scully: By accident?
Mulder: At first it looked like a garbage dump for UFO sightings, alien abduction reports—the kind of stuff that most people laugh at as being ridiculous. But I was fascinated.

Mulder: You gotta love this place. Every day is like Halloween.

Mulder: Can I buy you a drink?
Scully: It’s two o’clock in the afternoon, Agent Mulder.
Mulder: It’s not stopping the rest of these people.

Scully: What reason would the military have to kidnap their own men?
Mulder: That’s the $64,000 question, Scully.

Please, step out of the car.
Mulder: You think if maybe we ignore them, they’ll go away?
Please, step out of the car.
Mulder: Guess not.

Mulder: They’re here, aren’t they.
Deep Throat: Mr. Mulder, they’ve been here for a long long time.

Tom Colton (Donal Logue): So how are you doing? Have you had any Close Encounters of the Third Kind?
Scully: Is that what everyone thinks I do?
Colton: No, of course not. But you do work with Spooky Mulder.
Scully: Mulder’s ideas may be a bit out there, but he is a great agent.
Colton: Yeah, well I’ve got this case that’s “out there”. Baltimore P.D. calls. They want our help on a serial killer profile. Three murders began six weeks ago. Victims vary in age, race, gender—no known connections to each other.
Scully: Well I take it there’s a pattern.
Colton: Point of entry. Actually, the lack of one.

Colton: So Mulder, what do you think? Does this look like the work of little green men?
Mulder: Grey.
Colton: Excuse me?
Mulder: Grey. You said green men. A Reticulan’s skin tone is actually grey. They’re notorious for their extraction of human terrestrial livers. Due to the iron depletion in the Reticulum galaxy.
Colton: You can’t be serious.
Mulder: Do you have any idea what liver and onions go for on Reticulum?

Scully: Oh my God, Mulder. It smells like… I think it’s bile.
Mulder: Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?

Scully: I just think it’s a good idea not to antagonize local law enforcement.
Mulder: Who me? I’m Mr. Congeniality.
Scully: You never know, we might need his help one of these days.
Mulder: I’ll send him a bundt cake.

Mulder: How could an eight year old boy who can barely multiply be a threat to national security? And people call me paranoid.

Scully: They found a body in the New Jersey woods yesterday. Missing its right arm and shoulder. They had been eaten off. By a human.
Mulder: Where in New Jersey?
Scully: Just outside Atlantic City.
Mulder: Not an uncommon place to lose a body part.

Scully: You lied. You have seen it before, I can tell. You lied to them.
Mulder: I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.

Mulder: You won’t find too many people at their boss’ grave who aren’t dancing on it.

Scully: I think Howard Graves fabricated his own death.
Mulder: Do you know how difficult it is to fake your own death? Only one man has pulled it off. Elvis.

Scully: How come you two went your separate ways?
Mulder: I’m a pain in the ass to work with.
Scully: Seriously, Mulder.
Mulder: I’m not a pain in the ass?

Scully about the talking elevator: It must be for the visually-impaired.
Mulder: How do you like that? A politically-correct elevator.

Scully: Is that your profile?
Mulder: Forget it. No.

Scully: It’s headline news how much this guy despised Drake.
Mulder: That just seems too obvious. To kill Drake would be so brazenly egomaniacal.
Scully: And fully consistent with Jerry’s excellent behavioral profile.

Mulder: So much for the element of surprise. What do you say we take the stairs?

Scully: What happened up there?
Mulder: So far nobody’s been able to reach the compound because of bad weather. Obviously they think we’re either brilliant or expendable, because we pulled the assignment.

Dr. Hodge: Parasitic diagnostic procedure requires that every one of us provide a blood and stool sample.
Bear (Jeff Kober): A stool sample?
Dr. Murphy: Wow. This kind of travel always makes that kinda tough. For me.
Mulder: Okay. Anybody got the morning sports section handy?

Mulder: Before anyone passes judgment, may I remind you we are in the arctic.

Scully: What do you think?
Mulder: I can’t believe we put so much faith in machines.

Scully: So you think this x-ray is bogus?
Mulder: God, I hope so.

Mulder: Scully, we send those men up into space to unlock the doors of the universe and we don’t even know what’s behind them. I think whatever it was, he took it with him. And in the end it was the only way he knew how to stop it.

Commander Calvin Henderson: You just made the worst mistake of your life, Agent Mulder.
Mulder: I think you knocked out a filling.

Mulder: I didn’t order room service.
Scully: This isn’t funny, Mulder.
Mulder: You meet Max?
Scully: Who?
Mulder: Max from NICAP. They must have released him. Another intrepid soul in search of a close encounter.
Scully: Is that what this is about?
Mulder: What else?

Mulder: You hear that noise, Scully? Hammer and nails. They’re building a gallows in the town square. Don’t worry. It was only a matter of time. I’m surprised I lasted this long.
Scully: Good luck.
Mulder: I’ll break a leg.

Mulder: How can I disprove lies that are stamped with an official seal.
McGrath: That will be all, Mr. Mulder.
Mulder: You can deny all the things I’ve seen, all the things that I’ve discovered. But not for much longer. ‘Cause too many others know what’s happening out there. And no one—no government agency—has jurisdiction over the truth.

Scully: Death by hypervolemia. Seventy-five percent blood loss. That’s over four liters of blood.
Mulder: You could say the man was running on empty.

Scully: Well there is the random possibility that two people can have an unrelated likeness.
Mulder: Who both just happened to see their fathers exanguinated? I’d like to get the odds on that in Vegas.

Scully: The girls are the one and only link between two murders.
Mulder: And one girl was just abducted.
Scully: Kidnapped.
Mulder: Potato, potat-ah-to.

Eve 6 (Harriet Harris): Unlock the chains, and then we’ll talk.
Mulder: They’re probably there for a good reason.

Mulder: Forget your sodas?
Eve 9: We didn’t do anything wrong.
Eve 10: We’re just little girls.
Mulder: That’s the last thing you are.

Scully: I forgot what it was like to spend a day in court.
Mulder: That’s one of the luxuries to hunting down aliens and genetic mutants. You rarely get to press charges.

Scully: What do you think it is?
Mulder: Ten to one you can’t dance to it.

Phoebe Green (Amanda Pays): Oh come on, don’t tell me you left your sense of humor in Oxford ten years ago.
Mulder: No, actually. It’s one of the few things you didn’t drive a stake through.

Scully: “Three pipe problem”?
Mulder: That’s from Sherlock Holmes. It’s a private joke.
Scully: How private?
Mulder: Um… we knew each other in school in England. She was brilliant and… I got in over my head and, uh, paid the price.
Scully: Mulder, you just keep unfolding like a flower.
Mulder: That was over ten years ago, Scully.
Scully: Yeah, I noticed how you couldn’t drop everything fast enough in order to help her out.
Mulder: I was merely extending her a professional courtesy.
Scully: Oh, is that what you were extending?

Scully with an English accent: Care to take me to lunch? Scare you?
Mulder: You have no idea.
Scully: Where is Pheobe?
Mulder: I don’t know.
Scully: You don’t know. She didn’t call?
Mulder: Nope. She did messenger this to me last night though.
Scully: Did you play it?
Mulder: No.
Scully: Why not? Aren’t you curious what’s on it?
Mulder: Ten-to-one you can’t dance to it.

Mulder: At the age of six, Luther Boggs slaughtered every pet animal in his housing project. When he was thirty he strangled five family members over Thanksgiving dinner and then sat down to watch the fourth quarter of the Detroit-Green Bay game. Some killers are products of society, some act out past abuses. Boggs kills because he likes it.

Luther Lee Boggs: Mr. Boggs must be made redemptive for his transgressions.
Mulder: That’s exactly what the state of North Carolina intends to do next week.

Scully: Did Boggs confess?
Mulder: No. No, it was five hours of Boggs’ channeling. After three hours I asked him to summon up the soul of Jimi Hendrix and requested “All Along the Watchtower.” You know guy’s been dead twenty years, but he still hasn’t lost his edge.

Mulder: Dana, open yourself up to extreme possibilities, but only when they’re the truth. That goes for Boggs and your father.

Scully: Wait a minute, aren’t these people famous for their abstinance and their pure Christian ways?
Mulder: Yes. But it looks as if one of them may have forgotten to clean under his fingernails.

Mulder: You get any sense about them?
Scully: There’s something up there, Mulder.
Mulder: Oh, I’ve been saying that for years.

Mulder: The Addams Family finds religion.

Scully: Well we can’t rule out the possibility that who we’re looking for is a transvestite.
Mulder: I think Don Juan in there knows the difference between the male and the female of the species.

Mulder: Two men died in that crash room, Scully. One man came back. The question is, which one?

Bruskin: This isn’t one of your X-File theories, is it?
Mulder: It doesn’t matter what I think. We’re still after the same thing.

Scully about Willis’ watch: It’s not working. It stopped. At 6:47.
Mulder: The exact time that Jack went into cardiac arrest at the hospital.
Scully: What does that mean?
Mulder: It means…. It means whatever you want it to mean.

Mulder: The judge promised me he would die in prison.
Scully: So you think he escaped?
Mulder: No. that’s just it. He did die in prison. Four years ago.
Scully: You’re sure?
Mulder: I was paying attention.

Anderson: Guy a friend of yours?
Mulder: Yeah. I play golf with him every Sunday. What do you think?
Anderson: You just brought this in ten minutes ago.
Mulder: You’re slipping, Anderson.

Scully: You did the right thing, Mulder.
Mulder: Did I? Steve Wallenberg had a wife and two kids. One of his boys is an all-star on his football team now. I pull that trigger two seconds earlier, and Wallenberg would be here to see his kid play. Instead I got some dead man robbing jewelry stores and sending me haikus.

Scully: Mulder, I know what you did wasn’t by the book.
Mulder: Tells you a lot about the book, doesn’t it?

Mulder: I’m going to talk to some people when we get back to Washington.
Scully: Mulder, the military isn’t going to talk about classified aircraft.
Mulder: No, these guys are like an extreme government watchdog group. They publish
a magazine called the Lone Gunmen. Some of their information is first rate. Covert actions. Classified weapons. Some of their ideas… are downright spooky.

Mulder: What do you know about Gulf War Syndrome?
Langly: Agent Orange of the nineties.

Scully: Those were the most paranoid people I have ever met. I don’t know how you could think that what they say is even remotely plausible.
Mulder: I think it’s remotely plausible that someone might think you’re hot.

Mulder: Called every waystation and bureau office west of Colorado. Tied up an airphone for three hours. I don’t speak Japanese but I think some businessmen told me to stick a piece of sushi where the sun don’t shine.

Deep Throat: You’re awfully quiet, Mr. Mulder.
Mulder: I’m wondering which lie to believe.

Mulder: I think I saw some of these people at Woodstock.
Scully: You weren’t at Woodstock.
Mulder: I saw the movie.

Scully: Maybe we should head backstage and see what the Reverend has to say.
Mulder: No wait, this is the part where they bring out Elvis.

Samuel: I have looked on the infirm and seen their sickness, their cancer. Just as I can see that pain of this man, right here.
Mulder: Really? What pain is that?
Samuel: The pain you have regarding a brother. Or sister. It’s an old pain. It’s never been healed.

Ish: Go home, FBI.
Mulder: How’d you know?
Ish: I could smell you a mile away.
Mulder: Well they told me that even though my deodorant’s made for a woman it’s strong enough for a man.

Ish: I was at Wounded Knee in 1973. Know what I learned fighting the FBI? They don’t believe in us, and we don’t believe in them.
Mulder: I want to believe.

Scully: Mulder, since we’ve been here you’ve acted as if you’ve expected to find every piece of evidence that we’ve come across. What aren’t you telling me? Why are we here?
Mulder: A true piece of history, Scully. The very first X-File. Initiated by J. Edgar Hoover himself in 1946.

Ish: You even have an Indian name. “Fox.” You should be Running Fox. Or Stinky Fox.
Mulder: Just as long as it’s not Spooky Fox.

Ish: FBI. See you in about… eight years.
Mulder: I hope not.

Mulder: Take a good look, Scully.
Scully: What am I looking at?
Mulder: Thirty loggers, working a clear-cutting contract in Washington State. Rugged manly-men. In the full bloom of their manhood.
Scully: Right. What am I looking for?
Mulder: Anything strange, unexplainable, unlikely… a boyfriend.

Scully: And you suspect, what? Bigfoot?
Mulder: Not likely. That’s a lot of flannel to be choking down, even for Bigfoot.

Scully: I thought we were supposed to be safe in the light!
Mulder: We are. I think the light keeps them from swarming. We’ll be safe as long as we stay in the light.

Mulder: If you release Eugene Tooms he will kill again. It’s in his genetic make-up.

Mulder: You think they would have taken me more seriously if I wore the grey suit?
Scully: Mulder, your testimony, you sounded so—
Mulder: I don’t care how it sounded as long as it was the truth.

Mulder: Look, Scully, if you’re resistant because you don’t believe I’ll respect that. But if you’re resistant because of some bureaucratic pressure, they’ve not only reeled you in, they’ve already skinned you.

Mulder: Excuse me, could you help me find my dog? He’s a Norwegian Elk Hound. {Tooms storms off.} His name is Heinrich. I use him to hunt moose!

Mulder: A request for other agents to stake out Tooms would be denied, and then we’d have no grounds.
Scully: Well then I’ll stay here. You go home.
Mulder: They’re out to put an end to the X-Files, Scully. I don’t know why, but any excuse will do. And I don’t really care about my record. But you’d be in trouble just sitting in this car. And I’d hate to see you carrying an official reprimand in your career files because of me.
Scully: Fox, I—
Mulder: I, I even made my parents call me Mulder. Mulder.
Scully: Mulder, I wouldn’t put myself on the line for anybody but you.
Mulder: If there’s an iced tea in that bag, it could be love.
Scully: Must be fate, Mulder. {she pulls out the drink.} Root beer.

Scully peering into the access shaft: There’s only room for one.
Mulder: You can get the next mutant.

Mulder: It’s amazing how things change, isn’t it?
Scully: The caterpillar?
Mulder: No, a change for us. It’s coming.
Scully: How do you know?
Mulder: A hunch.

Scully: Are you saying Michelle possesses the ability to psychically project her own will?
Mulder: How else could a sixty-pound kid throw a two-hundred-pound detective out the window?

Scully: So where does that leave us?
Mulder: One short step away from proving the pre-existence of the human soul.

Mulder: Michelle! This won’t make right what happened.

Scully: So is that what you couldn’t talk to me about over the phone?
Mulder: The project that everyone says doesn’t exist, does exist.
Scully: The Icarus Project.
Mulder: The next generation in engine design.

Scully: Now I’ve seen this demonstrated on a fish before.
Mulder: I don’t think they’ll be performing this experiment on Beekman, Scully.

Mulder: You’ve got a brother don’t you, Scully?
Scully: Yeah. I’ve got an older one and a younger.
Mulder: Well have you ever thought about calling one of them all day long and then all the sudden the phone rings and it’s them calling you?
Scully: Does this pitch somehow end with a way for me to lower my long distance charges?

Scully: We’re out here on half-a-hunch, off of a cryptic phone call, chasing down a clue that’s based on nothing but speculation.
Mulder: That’s all we’ve got.

Deep Throat: Calling it a night, Mr. Mulder?
Mulder: My mother usually likes me home before the streetlights come on.

Deep Throat: Don’t give up on this one. Trust me, you’ve never been closer.
Mulder: Closer to what?

Scully: I’m sorry, Mulder. I’m seeing the pieces but I’m not seeing the connection.
Mulder: Well, maybe that’s just it. Maybe we’re not seeing it because it can’t be seen. Not in any obvious way. {shows her the Purity Control flask} What do you think this is?
Scully: I don’t know.
Mulder: Can you find out for me?

Scully: I’ve got something for you.
Mulder: Is it smaller than a silver Sierra?
Scully: Much. And it’s not silver. It’s green.
Mulder: What is it?
Scully: Some kind of bacteria. Each containing virus. And it looks like Berube may have been cloning them.

Scully: Mulder, I just want to say that I was wrong.
Mulder: That’s all right. Don’t worry about it.
Scully: No. If you had listened to me we wouldn’t be here right now. I should know by now to trust your instincts.
Mulder: Why? Nobody else does.

Scully: You know, I’ve always held science as sacred. I’ve always put my trust in the accepted facts. What I saw last night… for the first time in my life I don’t know what to believe.
Mulder: Well whatever it is you do believe, Scully, when you walk into that room nothing sacred will hold.

Mulder: They’re shutting us down, Scully.
Scully: What?
Mulder: They called me in tonight. And they said they’re going to reassign us to other sections.
Scully: Who told you that?
Mulder: Skinner. He said word came down from the top of the Executive branch.
Scully: Mulder—
Mulder: It’s over, Scully.
Scully: Well you have to lodge a protest. They can’t—
Mulder: Yes they can.
Scully: What are you going to do?
Mulder: I’m not going to give up. I can’t give up. Not as long as the truth is out there.

Season Two

Mulder: We wanted to believe. We wanted to call out. On August 20 and September 5, 1977, two spacecraft were launched from the Kennedy Space Flight Center Florida. They were called Voyager. Each one carries a message. A gold-plated record projecting images, music and sounds of our planet. Arranged so that it may be understood if ever intercepted by a technologically-mature extraterrestrial civilization. Thirteen years after its launch, Voyager One passed the orbital plane of Neptune and essentially left our solar system. Within that time, there were no further messages sent. Nor are any planned.

Mulder: We wanted to listen. On October 12, 1992, NASA initiated the high resolution microwave survey. A decade-long search by radio telescope scanning ten million frequencies for any transmission by extraterrestrial intelligence. Less than one year later, first term Nevada senator Richard Bryan successfully championed an amendment which terminated the project.

Mulder: I wanted to believe. But the tools had been taken away. The X-Files had been shut down. They closed our eyes. Our voices have been silenced. Our ears now deaf to the realms of extreme possibilities.

Mulder: Four dollars for the first hour of parking is criminal. What you’ve got better be worth at least forty-five minutes.
Scully: You know Mulder, from back there you looked like him.
Mulder: Him?
Scully: Deep Throat.
Mulder: He’s dead, Scully. I attended his funeral at Arlington through eight power binoculars from a thousand yards away.

Mulder: Have you ever been to San Diego?
Scully: Yeah.
Mulder: Did you check out the Palomar Observatory?
Scully: No.
Mulder: From 1948 until recently it was the largest telescope in the world. The idea and design came from a brilliant and wealthy astronomer named George Ellerbe Hale. Actually the idea was to presented to Hale one night while he was playing billiards. An elf landed in his window and told him to get money from the Rockefeller Foundation for a telescope.
Scully: And you’re worried that all your life you’ve been seeing elves?
Mulder: In my case, Little Green Men.

Scully: Your sister’s abduction, you held on to that.
Mulder: I’m beginning to wonder if that even happened.

Mulder: Deep Throat said Trust No One. It’s hard, Scully. Suspecting everyone, everything. It wears you down. You even begin to doubt what you know is the truth. Before, I could only trust myself. Now I can only trust you. And they’ve taken you away from me. My life up to this point has been about the need to see her again. To see them. But what would I do if they really came?

Scully: I was sure you were dead. Mulder, it’s Scully. Dana Scully. Do you know where you are?
Mulder: They came, Scully. The ones that took her. They were here.
Scully: Here? Or here?
Mulder: On the tapes, the tape. Evidence. Proof. The transmissions, it’s all here. Proof.
Scully: Proof? Of what?
Mulder: Contact. These print outs, it’s here.

Mulder: A minute ago I was a four-bagger. Do you want me to make the arrests?
Skinner: I think we need more to go on. Continue the surveillance.

Mulder: The entire tape is blank.
Scully: You know an electrical surge in the outlet during the storm may have degaussed everything. Erasing the entire tape. You still have nothing.
Mulder: I may not have the X-Files, Scully, but I still have my work. I still have you. I still have myself.

Detective Norman: They say it cuts the smell if you don’t breathe through your mouth.
Mulder: They lied.

Skinner: Is there a problem, Agent Mulder?
Mulder: Yeah. There is.
Skinner: Then make an apoointment.
Mulder: It’s kind of hard to make an appointment when you’re up to your ass in raw sewage being jerked from one meaningless assignment to another.
Skinner: Excuse me?
Mulder: What’s my next punishment? Scrubbing bathroom floors with a toothbrush?
Skinner: You’re way out of line, Agent Mulder.
Mulder: So I gathered.

Scully: Is this seat taken?
Mulder: No. But I should warn you, I’m experiencing violent impulses.
Scully: Well I’m armed, so I’ll take my chances.

Mulder: It’s an exercise. Skinner is just rubbing my nose in this one. There’s nothing to it.
Scully: There’s a dead body, isn’t there?

Mulder: You know, you had a pair of agents that could have handled a case like this. Agent Scully and I might have been able to save that man’s life, but you shut us down.
Skinner: I know. This should have been an X-File. We all take our orders from someone, Agent Mulder.

Mulder: Success in our work is imperative, Scully. Reinstatement of the X-Files must be undeniable.
Scully: That came from Skinner?
Mulder: No. We have a friend in the FBI.

Scully: Mulder, nature didn’t make this thing. We did.
Mulder: I know these. These are from Chernobyl.
Scully: That creature came off of a decomissioned Russian freighter that was used in the disposal of salvage material from the meltdown. It was born in a primordial soup of radioactive sewage.
Mulder: You know they say three species disappear off the planet every day. You wonder how many new ones are being created.

Sheriff Spencer: Things like this aren’t supposed to happen here.
Mulder: A forty-two-year-old real estate agent murders four strangers with his bare hands? It’s not supposed to happen anywhere.

Mulder: …there have been reported abductee paranoia in UFO mass abduction cases.
Scully reading the report: I was wondering when you’d get to that.
Mulder: I find no evidence of this to be the case.

Mulder: In all honesty, Scully, I’ve never had a more difficult time developing a profile. There is no way to who will be a killer. Or who will be killed.

Mulder: May we come in?
Mrs. McRoberts: I’m late for work.
Mulder: You can blame me.

Mulder: Have you ever come across this chemical compound?
Langly: LSDM. Obviously you haven’t read our August edition of TLG.
Mulder: Oh, I’m sorry boys. It arrived the same day as my subscription to Celebrity Skin.

Frohike: So Mulder, where’s your little partner?
Mulder: She wouldn’t come. She’s afraid of her love for you.
Frohike: She’s tasty.
Mulder: You know, Frohike, it’s men like you that give perversion a bad name.

Mulder: Look, if you’re the one who’s responsible for the illegal spraying, then the sooner you take responsibility the sooner people will stop dying. The killers all resided near heavily sprayed areas.
Larry Winter: You don’t live here, Mulder I live here. I have my heart in this town. I have three children. I’m not going to dump poison on them.
Mulder: Yeah, well if it’s so safe then why was it done in secret?

Winter: There’s no proof whatsoever the spraying caused violent behavior. It was proven to me to be safe.
Mulder: By who? Who proved it to you?

Mulder: He’s probably one of those people that thinks Elvis is dead.
Scully: Mulder, I was wrong. Exposure to the insecticide does induce paranoia.
Mulder: I think this area is being subjected to a controlled experiment.
Scully: Controlled by who? By the government? By a corporation? By the Reticulans?

ALL DONE. BYE BYE.

Scully: Mrs. McAlpin believes voodoo was behind her husband’s death?
Mulder: Mrs. McAlpin doesn’t believe her husband killed himself. She wants to know who did.

Mulder: You’re Harry Dunham.
Dunham: Yes sir.
Mulder: You knew Private McAlpin. His wife said you were friends.
Dunham: We were in the same squad.
Mulder: Any idea why he might have killed himself?
Dunham: I can’t say, sir.
Mulder: Can’t say or you won’t say?

X: Your investigation is faltering, Agent Mulder.
Mulder: We’ve got a renegade Marine who may be violating every human rights provision.
X: These people have no rights. In 24 hours, all access to Folkstone will be restricted to military personnel. No press, no third-party monitoring.
Mulder: What about Scully and me?
X: You’ll be called back to Washington on a priority matter.
Mulder: They’re making the camp invisible. But why?
X: In case you haven’t noticed, Agent Mulder, the Statue of Liberty is on vacation. The new mandate says if you are not a citizen, you better keep out.

Mulder: Scully. Thanks for coming.
Scully: What was so urgent that you couldn’t tell me over the phone?
Mulder: I didn’t want to waste any time. A Navy destroyer, the USS Arden, has been missing in the North Atlantic for the past forty-two hours.
Scully: Missing?
Mulder: There’s been no radio contact and no distress signals picked up. Search planes and satellites haven’t picked up anything either.
Scully: You’re saying that a ship and its entire crew just vanished?
Mulder: Well that’s what it looked like. Until last night. A Canadian troller picked up eighteen survivors.
Scully: Well they must have reported what happened.
Mulder: Only one of those survivors is still alive.

Mulder: All in all I’ve counted nine unexplained disappearances. Each of them passed through here. The 65th Parallel.
Scully: Another Bermuda Triangle?
Mulder: It’s more like a wrinkle in time if Lieutenant Harper is any indication.

Mr. Nutt: …it’s human nature to make instaneous judgments of others based solely on their physical apperances? Why I have done the same thing to you, for example. I have taken in your All-American features, your dour demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design and concluded that you work for the government. An FBI agent. But do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly reduced you to a stereotype. A caricature. Instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual.
Mulder: But I am an FBI agent.

Sheriff Hamilton: May I ask what you’re doing?
Mulder: We’re exhuming… your potato.
Sheriff Hamilton: May I ask why?
Scully: Sheriff, it’s, it’s been documented that many serial killers possess a fascination with police work. Some of them even holding positions on their local force. So surveillance of investigation team members is often utilized as a precautionary—
Mulder: We found out you used to be a dog-faced boy.

Scully: That doesn’t quite explain a potato.
Sheriff Hamilton: I got some warts on my hand.
Mulder: That doesn’t quite explain the potato.
Sheriff Hamilton: To get rid of warts you rub a slice of potato on your hand and bury it under a full moon. The investigation isn’t going too well, is it? {Mulder throws down the potato}

Scully: You know, Mulder, for a while there I was beginning to think this case involved something a bit more…
Mulder: Freakish? You really shouldn’t complain about banality, Scully, when your main suspect is the human blockhead.

Scully: Mulder, are you okay?
Mulder: More comfortable than a futon.

Season Three

Clyde Bruckman (Peter Boyle): You know there are worse ways to go, but I can’t think of a more undignified way than autoerotic asphyxiation.
Mulder: Why are you telling me that?
Bruckman: Look, forget I mentioned it. It’s none of my business.

Season Four

Mulder: Scully, do you believe that my sister Samantha was abducted by aliens? Silence. Have you ever believed that? No. So what do you think happened to her?

Scully: Mulder, what are these people dying for? Is it for the truth or for the lies?
Mulder: It’s gotta be for the truth. If we owe them anything it’s to make sure of that.

Mulder: Do you know where she is?
Scully: In a mental institution.
Mulder: I’d go with you, but I’m afraid they’d lock me up.
Scully: Me too.

About Max’s backpack
Mulder: More people are trying to get their hands on this thing than a Tickle Me Elmo doll.

Scully: What are you saying, that Van Blundt is an alien?
Mulder: Not unless they have trailer parks in space.

Season Five

Mulder: The other victims, they had their frying pans… violated.

Mulder: This is all wrong, Scully. This is not how the story’s supposed to end.
Scully: What do you mean?
Mulder: Dr. Frankenstein pays for his evil ambitions, yes, but the monster’s supposed to escape to go search for his bride.
Scully: There’s not going to be any bride, Mulder. Not in this story.
Mulder: Where’s the writer? I want to speak to the writer.

Scully’s version of events:
Scully: Mulder, are you okay?
Mulder dazed: Who’s the black private dick who’s a sex machine with all the chicks? Shaft! Can ya dig it? They say this cat Shaft is a bad mutha— Shut yo’ mouth! I’m talkin’ bout Shaft!
Mulder over: I did not!

Scully: Mulder, please just keep reminding him you were drugged.
Mulder: Will you stop that? Stop that.
Scully: It couldn’t hurt.
Skinner: Scully? Mulder?
Mulder: I was drugged!

Season Six

Ship Captain: There’s a war on. And in it or no, I don’t plan to lose me mind, or me ship, to the likes of a jackal like you.
Mulder: You can relax. There’s no war going on. The world is at peace. There’s a little trouble over at our White House but that’ll blow over. So to speak.

Mulder: It’s okay. The war’s over. Let them take you to Germany. They make nice cars.

Mulder to the Nazis: Yeah, you’re all big men now but wait ’til you get to Russia!

Mulder: In case we never meet again— Mulder kisses 1940s Scully, who clocks him with a solid right. I expected a left.

Scully: Mulder, it looks like they were shot to death. You know what’s weird?
Mulder: What?
Scully: Mulder, she’s wearing my outfit.
Mulder: How embarrassing.
Scully: Yeah, well you know what? He’s wearing yours.

Maurice (Ed Asner): You drink?
Mulder: No.
Maurice: Take drugs?
Mulder: No.
Maurice: Get high?
Mulder: No.
Maurice: Are you overcome by the impulse to make everyone believe you? Silence.

Lyda: Masher.
Mulder: Frump.

Lyda revealing her fatal wound: I don’t show my hole to just anyone.
Mulder disturbed: Why are you showing it to me?

Scully: Mulder, none of that really happened out there tonight. That was all in our heads, right?
Mulder: Must have been.
Scully: Not that, ah, my only joy in life is proving you wrong.
Mulder: When have you proved me wrong?
Scully: Well, why else would you want me out there with you?
Mulder: You didn’t want to be there? Ah, that’s, um, self-righteous and narcissistic of me to say, isn’t it?

Mulder: Wayne— Mr. Weinsider. I don’t want to arrest Laura. I’m sure you’d hate like the devil for that to happen as well.

Mulder about the fiber supplements: Whatever else we find, we know everybody in this house is regular.

Mulder: Wow. Admit it, all you want to do is play house. Woman! Get back in here and make me a sandwich! Scully throws a rubber glove at him. Did I not make myself clear?

Scully: Extraterrestrial visitors from beyond who, apparently, have nothing better to do than buzz one mountain over and over again for 700 years.
Mulder: Sounds like crap when you say it.

Mulder: Scully, we never escaped. We’re still trapped underground.
Scully: Mulder, we did escape. I think you’re suffering from post-traumatic stress.
Mulder: No I’m not. This is not real. You. You’re not real.
Skinner: Mulder, I—
Mulder: I’ll prove it, Scully. He shoots Skinner

Season Seven

Cigarette Smoking Man: Life or death. Your account is squared. With me, with God, with the IRS, with the FBI. Rise out of your bed and come with me.
Mulder: I’m dying, you idiot. If I could get up I’d kick your ass.

Cigarette Smoking Man: I wasn’t expecting you so soon. I thought you’d take a few days to settle in.
Fowley: I think you need to allay his unhappiness with things he perceives as left undone.
Mulder: Including why you live in a bigger house than I do.

Scully: Mulder, you been spreading rumors?
Mulder: Why? Hear any good ones lately?

Mulder: “I am he that liveth and was dead; and behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.”
Deputy: Book of Revelation. Chapter 1, verse 18.
Mulder realizing Frank’s message: Go Fighting Irish.

Scully: Mulder, these people—even when they were alive—mangled biblical prophecy to the extent that it’s unrecognizable. The year 2000 is just their artificial deadline. And besides, 2001 is actually the start of the new millennium.
Mulder: Nobody likes a math geek, Scully.

Scully: You alright Mulder?
Mulder: Yeah, it’s okay. My ass broke the fall.

Mulder: Luck is the over-reaching force in this investigation. I say we roll with it. He blindly stabs at a spot on the Yellow Pages—an Islamic Day Care. Let’s call that a dry run.
Scully: Yeah.

Scully: As far as I can tell, this body has been dead for over a month. I see signs of refrigeration.
Mulder: And yet he performed yesterday. What a trooper.

Scully: What are you doing, Mulder?
Mulder: There’s something in that abduction note that I’ve seen before.
Scully: That’s not what I mean. You’re personalizing this case. You’re identifying with your sister.
Mulder: My sister was taken by aliens. Did I say anything about aliens, Scully?

Mulder: What is it, Scully?
Scully: Mulder, your mom’s dead.

Kathy Lee Tencate: Where’s your sister now?
Mulder: I don’t know.
Kathy Lee Tencate: Your mother knew, didn’t she?
Mulder: Why do you ask that?
Kathy Lee Tencate: She was trying to tell you.
Mulder: Tell me what?
Kathy Lee Tencate: She’d seen them.
Mulder: Who?
Kathy Lee Tencate: The walk-ins. Old souls looking for new homes. Your sister’s among them.
Mulder: You can see them?
Kathy Lee Tencate: Yes. But sometimes it’s very difficult because they live in the star light.
Mulder: Is my sister dead?
Kathy Lee Tencate: They took her. To protect her soul from the great harm it would have suffered in her life. Just like they did my little boy.

Mulder: They said the birds refused to sing. And the thermometer fell suddenly. As if God himself had His breath stolen away. No one there dared speak aloud. As much in shame as in sorrow. They uncovered the bodies one by one. The eyes of the dead were closed, as if waiting for permission to open them. Were they still dreaming of ice cream and monkey bars? Of birthday cake and no future but the afternoon? Or had their innocence been taken along with their lives? Buried in the cold earth so long ago. These fates seemed too cruel even for God to allow. Or are the tragic young born again when the world’s not looking? I want to believe so badly in a truth beyond our own. Hidden and obscured from all but the most sensitive eyes. In the endless procession of souls. In what can not and will not be destroyed. I want to believe we are unaware of God’s eternal recompense and sadness. That we cannot see its truth. That that which is born still lives and can not be buried in the cold earth. But only waits to be born again at God’s behest. Where in ancient starlight we lay… in repose.

Mulder: You don’t know how badly I wanted her to be in one of those graves. As hard as it is to admit, I wanted to find her here riding her bike like all these other kids. I guess I just want it to be over.

Mulder: What? What are you doing?
Harold Pillar: I’m picking up something.
Mulder: It’s three o’clock in the morning.
Harold Pillar: There’s someone here.
Mulder: And the TV is on.
Harold Pillar: No. A visitor.

Harold Pillar: We’re going to need to hold hands.
Scully: What do you mean?
Harold Pillar: I’m going to try to summon their presence into the house.
Scully: Oh yay. A seance. I haven’t done that since high school.
Mulder: Maybe afterwards we can play Postman and Spin the Bottle.

Mulder: You know I never stopped to think. The light is billions of years old by the time we see it. The beginning of time, right past us into the future. Nothing is ancient in the universe. Maybe they are souls, Scully. Travelling through time and star light. Looking for homes. I wonder what my mother saw. I wonder what she was trying to tell me.

Scully: Mulder, where’d you go?
Mulder: End of the road.

Mulder: He’s okay. It’s okay.
Harold Pillar: My son? You saw my son?
Mulder: He’s dead. They’re all dead, Harold. Your son, Amber-Lynn, my sister.
Harold Pillar: No!
Mulder: Harold. You see so much but you refuse to see him. You refuse to let him go. But you have to let him go now, Harold. He’s in a better place. They’re all in a better place.

Scully: Agent Mulder, can we have a word for a second?
Mulder: Excuse me. What is it?
Scully: What is it? Mulder, have you noticed that we’re on television?
Mulder: I don’t think it’s live television, Scully. She just said *bleep*.

Scully: A screenwriter?
Federman: It’s actually writer-slash-producer.
Mulder: It’s actually just a hinderance-slash-pain in the neck.
Federman: Yo yo yo, Agent Mulder, I don’t want to eat your lunch. I’m just here for some procedural flavor. Just a taste.
Mulder: I have no idea what you just said.

Skinner: Agent Mulder, Mr. Federman will accompany you today to Christ’s Church where he will act as an observer on this case. You will extend to him every courtesy and protection you would a friend of mine and a friend of the Bureau’s. Agent Scully, I require your services here for the morning.
Mulder: Sir, have I pissed you off in a way that’s more than normal?

Federman: Well. Dharma Bum to Dharma Bomb.
[ … ]
Federman
: Wow. From counter-culture to counterfeiter.
Mulder: Alright, one more pun and I pull out my gun.

Scully: You know, Mulder, I know that Federman’s BS’ing you, so I’m really hesitant to mention this. But his story reminds me of the Lazarus Bowl.
Mulder: The Lazarus Bowl?
Scully: We had this wacky nun in Catholic school—Sister Callahan. We used to call her Sister Spooky because she would tell us scary stories all the time.
Mulder: Twisted sister. My kind of nun, you know.
Scully: Well she would hold up an old piece of wood with a rusty nail in it, and she would say, “This is an actual piece of the cross that Christ’s wrist was nailed to.” Or she’d show us a vial of red liquid and say that it was John the Baptist’s blood or something.
Mulder: She’d be in prison today. You realize that.

Mulder about Skinner: I think this whole “Richard Gere” thing has gone to his head.

Scully: You know, Mulder, speaking of Hollywood, I think that Tea Leoni has a little crush on you.
Mulder: Yeah right. Like Tea Leoni’s ever going to have a crush on me.
Scully: I think that Shandling likes you a bit too.
Mulder: Really?

Mulder: Mr. Gilmore came all the way to see us from Missouri. The Show Me state!

Mulder: This woman look familiar to you?
Scully: That’s the woman from the trailer.
Mulder: That’s the young woman from the trailer. looking at the photo. How many centuries now has disco been dead?

Mulder about the invisible body: I think you missed a spot here. I can see straight through to his ass.

Mulder: Ah, let me tell you where I’m going with this. I think that woman is a Jinnaye. Are you familiar with the term?
Leslie: No.
Mulder: It’s the feminine for “Jinni”. As in a demon or spirit from Middle Eastern folklore. Getting no reaction, Mulder tries the I Dream of Jeannie theme song, with Leslie joining in. Yeah. Except Barbara Eden never killed anybody.

Scully: What’s this?
Mulder: It’s not what I hoped it would be. Judging from the odor coming from inside, I think it’s where the Stokes brothers keep their weed.

Season Eight

 

Season Nine