Hell Week

Lloyd: Look man, you may have thought we wee mean to you but we never locked you to a tree.
Ron: We did, ah, we did bungee him to his bed that time.

Books: Hey look, Steven. Your date has arrived.
Steven: What am I supposed to do with the sheep? panicked. What am I supposed to do with the sheep?

Marshall: Every night, after Ron falls asleep, I’m ah… ah, do what young men do. In my bed.
Ron: You do it after I go to sleep?
Marshall: Yeah.
Ron: I do it every night after you go to sleep.
Marshall: But you’re snoring by the time I’m doing it.
Ron: I’m pretending to snore so you don’t think that I’m doing it.
Marshall: God, Ron!
Ron: So we’re doing it at the same time?
Marshall: That’s horrible, Ron!
Steven with Lloyd’s male model shot: Maybe next time you might want to use this thing.
Ron: I actually have once. I thought that was Meg Ryan on the cover.

Books: You quit because he quit?
Kind of. I didn’t know I could quit.

Lizzie: How’s my favorite frat guy?
Steven: I quit.
Lizzie: Really? I quit too!
Steven: You did?
Lizzie: Yeah, the Little Sisters were total bitches.
Steven: The guys were total bitches.

Ron: Oh my god, did you hear that, man? We’re in that boglin’s hell.
Marshall: That little guy scares the crap out of me, you guys.
Lloyd: Why don’t you fight like a man, gnome-boy?

Ron and Marshall: Bacon fat! Bacon fat! Bacon fat!

What is this obsession with pickles, man? We’re a frat! We drink beer!

Rachel: Guys, let’s never eat carbs again.