Addicts

Ron about the credit cards: The real cards aren’t that big. But they’re good too.

Lloyd: Online investing is for desperate fools.
Ron: That’s true, right. Except for me though.

Dave: Yeah. Virgin plastic. That’s nice, huh? That’s a good feeling.
Steven: Don’t rob me.
Dave: I could, actually.

Dave: What’s your major, Steven?
Marshall: He’s undeclared.
Dave: What’s wrong with that? I was undeclared and I turned out alright.

Ron: I could buy a decent used car right now. Or an amazingly thorough prostitute.

Steven: Do you understand that I’ve never gotten good grades? Which is of course why I came to this school.
Marshall: Is this a bad school?

Ron: Check out my new screen. You know what’s back there? Nothing. Because it’s so damn thin. Now get me a soda.
Steven: What? No. You get your own damn— Ron hands him cash. Okay.

Lizzie: I’m afraid for my life.

Rachel: Would you just stop babbling? We’re gonna forget everything we learned two weeks after graduation anyway.

Lizzie: How did you get so smart?
Dave: I read like eight or nine books a week.
Steven: See? I told you.
Dave: I also do a lot of speed. All the time.

Ron: If we don’t pay off this debt then we have bad credit for life. We won’t even be able to get a Discover card. You know what that means?
Lloyd: No more leather suits.

Rachel: I can’t believe he isn’t here.
Steven: Yeah, it’s really weird ’cause I thought he was afraid to leave or whatever. sees a shadow in the house. What the hell was that?

Steven: I know I saw something move in there.
Lizzie: Maybe it was a cat.
Dave: Meow.
Lizzie: Kitty?
Steven: Lizzie, that was him.

Steven reading Atlas Shrugged: This isn’t that bad.
Steven reading the Cliff Notes to Atlas Shrugged: This is actually really good.
Steven listening to the audiobook of Atlas Shrugged: Anthony Hopkins reads this great.

Steven: Anthony Hopkins is yelling.