The O.C. Seth Cohen

Season 4

2006.11.02    

The Avengers

Seth: So, Friday morning. A little check-in before the weekend. I’m still here, kickin’ the Newport-style. I can’t believe I just said that. But, uh, yeah. Things are good. Ryan’s decision to defer college seems to be working out well. He’s got a new place, new job, making some new friends. Sandy Cohen is doing what he does best. Fighting the man. Sticking up for the little guy. Big news: the other day I went roast beef, he went turkey. Roast beef wasn’t as rare as I like, but he’s really turned me on to the spicy mustard. My mom, she’s more of a honey mustard gal. Which I discovered the other day when she invited me to join her for a Newpsie luncheon. They’re actually not that bad if you take the time to get to know them. And that Taryn? One of the great dry wits. Although she’s not a fan of tuna. But do you know who is? Me and your dad have really bonded. Been a lot of that, me and adults bonding. Although I do see Kaitlin from time to time. You’ll never guess who she’s befriended. Brad and Eric Ward, Luke’s twin brothers. They seem to be a chip right off Luke’s block. Taylor sent me some pics from Paris. Did you get ’em too? Her email was in French so I’m not quite sure what it said. Maybe your French is better than mine. Anyway, it was good to catch up. Only a couple more months ’til I’m at RISD and we’re togeth— voicemail cuts off

Seth: I’m sorry, maybe I didn’t understand you correctly. Did you seriously just ask if there was a comic book based on The X-Men movie?

Seth: Aren’t you going to invite me in? So the utility closet is the new pool house. Things change. It’s the Seth-Ryan Time that counts.

Seth: A table set for four actually feels kind of weird.
Sandy: Well things have been a little weird around here lately. Tonight might not be any different. We shouldn’t be expecting any miracles.
Seth: No zippy one-liners.
Kirsten: Not a lot of smiles.
Sandy: Few grunts. Occasional shrug.
Seth: Yeah, it’ll be just like old times.
Sandy: And I’m looking forward to it.

Sandy: Ryan, it’s Sandy again. The microwave still works if you feel like dropping by. And even if you don’t, please call, huh? Let us know you’re okay.
Kirsten: Should we call the police? Hospitals?
Seth: No, mom, He’s fine. Well he’s not, you know, fine, but he’s not coming.
Kirsten: Well even if he didn’t want to come, Ryan would have called. Ryan always calls.

Seth: I’m not going to go anywhere until you come with me.
Ryan: Yeah? What are you gonna do, you gonna fight me?
Seth: Well, seeing as how I don’t fight back— Ryan shoves Seth
Ryan: Just don’t anymore, okay?

Summer: I don’t do sarcasm anymore. I’m post-ironic.
Seth: You mean earnest?

Seth: You know I don’t usually refer to myself as a genius, but I may have to make an exception.

Seth: You may never save the planet but you did save us, so this is our story.

Seth: One day the litigator brought his work home with him, only this day his work looked like a young Russell Crowe.

The Gringos

Seth: Can’t let you go.
Ryan: It’s not really your choice.
Seth: So what? Then you’re just going to find Volchok and either kill him or get yourself killed? That’s insane.
Ryan: This conversation’s over. Seth jumps into the Jeep What— what are you doing?
Seth: I’m coming with you. It’s not like you’re leaving me any choice.
Ryan: I’m gonna tell the cops. I just need to see him first.
Seth: No offense, but, like, nobody believes that.

Seth: So where we going?
Ryan: Mexico.
Seth: Perfect. I need Chiclets.

Sandy: Where are you?
Seth: Don’t freak out.
Kirsten: Please say Newport.
Seth: We’re in Mexico.
Kirsten: He didn’t say Newport, did he?

USMC Guy (Steve-O): I love this guy. We’re doin’ shots!
Seth: I don’t really have time. I have to find my buddy, so why don’t you guys do shots.
USMC Guy: First we do shots. Then we find your friend. We’re brothers right?!
Seth: Well that’s a bit fast but—
USMC Guy: And then we get tattoos!
Seth: Right. This is great.

Seth: So did you kill him? I mean that was the plan, right? The real plan. Not the lie you told me when you said “Trust me, man.”

Sandy about Seth’s tattoo: You know it does have a certain—
Seth: Gay vibe. Were you gonna say gay vibe?
Sandy: Exactly. Let’s see what Summer has to say.

The Cold Turkey

Seth: I brought you a bagel.
Taylor: A bagel? I asked for an egg white omelet and some cantaloupe.
Seth: Taylor, I said you could hide out in my room for a couple of days. I did not say there would be room service.
Taylor: Seth. One day when I’m no longer sleeping under your bed you’re going to miss me.

Seth: I still can’t believe you had no reaction to my tattoo.
Summer: I had a reaction. I told you to get that thing removed.

Sandy: Summer! How’re you doing?
Summer: Better than the 2.8 billion people living below the poverty level. Are you okay with that statistic, Mr. Cohen? I don’t think so. That’s why I have to go.
Sandy: Who knew out of all you kids she’d turn out to be the young Sandy Cohen.
Seth: Had to rub off on someone.

Seth is instructed to keep the dinner guests from the shelter occupied
Seth: Okay, who here has not seen Battlestar Galactica season one?
Shelter Guy: I missed the season finale.
Seth: Get ready to have your mind blown. In this, Starbuck is a woman….

The Metamorphosis

Summer kisses Seth
Seth: Careful, lady. My girlfriend’s gonna be here any second.
Summer punching Seth: Shut up, Cohen.
Seth: Hey. You just punched me. My baby’s back.

Ryan: Hey man. How’s your French?
Seth
: Old Summer’s been replaced by the real Summer and she looks suspiciously like the new Summer.
Ryan: So she’s still in her Go Green phase?
Seth: I don’t think it’s a phase, man. I think this is her life now and it’s obvious I don’t fit in it.

Seth: Hey Summer. I know flying home early is your move but I stole it. I just wanted you to keep doing what you’re doing because I think it’s pretty amazing. So if you don’t hear from me for awhile it’s not because I don’t love you. It’s because I do.

The Sleeping Beauty

Seth: Bollywood, huh? I didn’t know you were such a world cinema buff. Especially at 2:30 in the morning.
Ryan: What are you doing up?
Seth: I had a dream. Summer was marrying Ralph Nader and I was playing the marimba at the wedding.
Ryan: Good gig.

Taylor: You might want to sit down. I have huge news and a favor to ask you.
Seth: You like Ryan and you want my help convincing him to date you?
Taylor: Wow.
Seth: You said he was funny. It’s kind of a giveaway.
Taylor: I know, it’s crazy. I mean, I’ve always thought, Cute guy. Might be good for a night of rough and tumble fun, but it’s not like we have anything in common.
Seth: So ignore it. It’s probably just gas.
Taylor: But then when he helped me with my husband and he kissed me it was… like Dorothy landing in Oz. Everything just popped into technicolor.

Seth: I was into recycling way before it was cool. Al Gore, he got half of that stuff from a paper I wrote in sixth grade. I just don’t, you know, make a stink ’cause he’s doing good work.

Seth: I saw you dancing with Taylor.
Ryan: Yeah. Is that look supposed to mean something?
Seth: Crazier things have happened. Not that I can recall this instant, but—
Ryan: Okay, I don’t think so.
Seth: Ask yourself why. She’s smart, she’s funny.
Ryan: Dude, just forget about it, okay? I’m not gonna date Taylor.

The Summer Bummer

Ryan: Hey man. How’s the East Coast treating you?
Seth: Too soon to tell. I had a layover in Sault Lake and then got delayed in Poughkeepsie. It’s hard to get a direct flight last minute.
Ryan: Yeah well, at least you made it. Was Summer surprised to see you?
Seth: I’m headed over there right now. I’ve got an all-night study package.
I scored a brick of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and some reasonably-priced meth from this homeless guy.
Ryan: Well I’m sure she’ll appreciate the pick-me-up.
Seth: How are things with you? I know you wanted to talk.
Ryan: Things are weird. And about to get a lot weirder.
Seth: That wasn’t vague or ominous at all.

Seth: I’m gonna go so Ryan Atwood on his ass.
Summer: Wait. Come on, Cohen, I don’t like this.
Seth ominously: Neither will Che.

Seth in Che’s room: This place reeks of incense and righteousness.

Summer: Cohen, you’re here!
Seth: Yeah. And I want to see what this guy’s got to say for himself.
Che: Please, Seth. Summer and I are on a journey together.
Summer: Huh?
Che: A journey towards the truth.
Seth ominously: You’re on a journey. To the pool.
Summer still handcuffed to Che: What? No! Cohen!

Che: Just know I hate myself more than you can ever hate me.
Summer: I’m capable of a lot of hate.
Seth: It’s true.

The Chrismukk-huh?

Summer: Well somebody should find Taylor’s mom. I guess I’ll do that.
Seth: Look at you signing up for the suicide mission.

Sandy: An alternate universe?
Seth: It’s the only obvious explanation.
Sandy: “Obvious” might not be the word I would use.
Seth: They both got knocked out at the same time and neither is waking up.
Sandy: Like Dorothy in Oz.
Seth: And just like Dorothy had to go see the Wizard, they’ve got some mission to accomplish before they can return.
Sandy: Like what?
Seth: Ah, anything. Could be like our world, only messed up. They’ve got to reset the balance. Or could be a world ruled by giant vegetables and they’ve got to topple the vegetable despot before they can come back.
Sandy: You had me ’til vegetable despot.
Seth: It makes perfect sense.

Alt-Seth: I already told you, I’m not going to your stupid party.
Alt-Kirsten: Before Summer Roberts is going to be here? Since when are you avoiding her?
Alt-Seth: Since she got engaged to that burly ding dong.

Alt-Seth: Oh, hate my life I hate my liiiiiiife! I hate my life!
Ryan: Yeah. No wonder Summer doesn’t like you.
Alt-Seth: See, even you think so. And no offense, but it’s kinda weird, you having such a vested interest in my love life considering I just met you this morning.
Ryan: Alright, you want the truth? Huh?
Alt-Seth: I know the truth.
Ryan: You know the truth?
Alt-Seth: Yeah.
Ryan: I’m from an alternate universe where your dad adopted me and you and Summer are in love. And unless I fix things here—which means getting your parents and you and Summer together—I can’t go home.
Alt-Seth: I always knew this would happen.
Ryan: Doesn’t surprise me.

Taylor: Did it go okay?
Ryan: Great. He’s going over stalking points right now.

Alt-Summer: So wait, you’re saying that you ride horses in the valley?
Alt-Seth: No no. I like plastic horses and the show The Valley.
Alt-Summer: Hey! I like that show too and plastic horses. What’s your’s name?
Alt-Seth: Uh, Princess Sparkle. Wait, no no. I mean Captain Oats. I just said Princess Sparkle ’cause I think that’s a really cool name.
Alt-Summer: No way. You are not going to believe this…

The Earth Girls Are Easy

Sandy: Ryan’s putting together a cooler for Vegas. I’m the sandwich guy.
Seth: Cohens are natural sandwich artists.
Sandy: It’s like our very own super power.
Seth: Yeah, I don’t know if it qualifies us for the Justice League though.

Seth: I have a question. And let’s pretend I wasn’t eavesdropping. Are you absolutely positive that you haven’t had sex yet with Taylor? Not even like, a “I feel guilty about this ’cause you’re kinda wasted but how did that happen” mistake?

Ryan: The nearest cab company’s in Baker. What do you wanna do now?
Seth: Oh, curl up in a fetus position and weep. Although perhaps the unborn baby metaphor—
Ryan: Not really appropriate.

Summer: Is that gonna like squirt invisible ink or something?
Seth: No. But it will make you engaged to me.
Summer: What? Are you insane.
Seth: Possibly. But I’m certain of this.

The My Two Dads

Ryan: So you asked her before you looked at the test?
Seth: I was trying to be a man. A plan with a fundamental conceptual flaw.
Ryan: And now?
Seth: Well it’s not that I regret it exactly. Okay, it’s exactly that I regret it.
Ryan: Acting impulsively when your girlfriend is pregnant—believe me, I know about that. But you can’t ask Summer to marry you if you don’t want to get married.

Seth: I feel good about this. I think a little long-term lifelong commitment is exactly what I needed.
Ryan: This is bad.
Seth: This is so bad.

Seth: Diamonds. Sure sure. Well if we’re really doing this we better do it right.
Summer: Exactly. Which means nothing less than 2 carats.
Seth: Why not three. You’re worth it.

Ryan: Dude, you can’t bring an animal in here. What are you doing?
Seth: How dare you talk to your nephew that way. Don’t listen to mean Uncle Ryan, Pancakes. That’s just the ‘roids talking. They do make him huge, I know.
Ryan: Will you get him out of here please before he ends up in a quesadilla?

Summer: C’mon. No stops, no excuses. I am marrying you tonight.
Seth: Not if I marry you first.

Seth: What are we watching?
Sandy: Well, it’s about meerkats.
Seth: Meerkats. Why are we watching it?
Kirsten: Because I wanted to.
Sandy: And we don’t want to get your mother angry. You haven’t seen her right-cross.
Ryan: Yeah. Your dad’s is pretty good though.
Seth: Well that makes sense. He was in a gang.
Kirsten: Don’t remind me.
Seth: The Jets, is what I’ve heard.
Sandy: We robbed from the poor and gave to the poor.
Seth: How many people would you say you stabbed?

The French Connection

Ryan: So you’re really going to Seattle?
Seth: You wanna marry a girl, you gotta ask her father’s permission, Ryan. It’s the polite thing to do.
Ryan: Yeah except you don’t want to get married. Which you could still tell her, you know.
Seth: Not a chance.
Ryan: So you guys are really going to walk down the aisle because neither of you is willing to back down?
Seth: That’s where Dr. Roberts comes in. He rejects me, this whole game of chicken ends and I don’t have to be the bad guy.

Ryan: Good luck getting rejected.
Seth: Fortunately it’s something I excel at.

Neil: I don’t think that you really appreciate Summer.
Seth: What? Look, Dr. Roberts, with all due respect you have a lot of grounds with which to object to this admittedly hair brained idea, but there’s one thing that is undeniable is that I appreciate your daughter.
Neil: As you made clear yesterday when you called her “kinda cool” and “easy on the eyes.” You gotta do better than that.
Seth: Well she’s hilarious, for one. My favorite thing in the world is to make her laugh because she has a crazy honk of a laugh— I think Nelson from The Simpsons.
Neil: She does have a contagious laugh.
Seth: And stop me before I say she makes me a better man, but she makes me more of a man. And certainly less of a boy. I love every minute I spend with your daughter, sir, I really do.

The Dream Lover

Summer: Your pink eye’s all clear.
Seth: Pink eye?
Summer: Yeah. The reason why I haven’t heard from you. I talked to Ryan.
Che: It was his sciatica.
Seth: Yeah. When it gets in the eye, it’s— it goes pink.

Che: We can shove these rocks into the tent. Unless you’re too weak to move.
Seth: No, I um, actually, I found some berries down below, they were pretty tasty, so—
Che: You ate the berries?
Seth: Yeah. Why? Is that a problem?
Che: No. That’s no problem. Not yet.

Che: How are you feeling, friend?
Seth: Like I’m sharing a sauna with the Blue Man Group.
Che: Go with it. You’re in the spirit world, man. This is the very last part of your journey.
Seth: Ryan likes Journey.

Seth to the otter: I can hear you! What’s that, little fella? You don’t feel well? That’s okay. I can take care of you. I don’t exactly know what that means, but maybe I can get you back in the ocean with all your otter friends. And you can do otter-related activities.

The Groundhog Day

Ryan about Kirsten: You don’t think she knows about the party?
Sandy: What? No. Are you kidding me. No one plans a surprise party like Sandy Cohen. I could have been with the CIA.
Seth: I hear they’re known for their birthday parties.

Che: Rise and shine, brother! For the clarion call of justice has rung across the land! {he rips his covers off the bed}
Seth: I’m glad I don’t sleep naked.
Che: Yeah. Me too. I didn’t think about that.

Che: …and return him to the savannahs of his childhood.
Seth: I actually heard he was captured in Irvine.

Che: You realize this is the second time you and I’ve spent the night together?
Seth: So?
Che: So. Does that mean anything to you?
Seth: You’ll be going on your little adventures by yourself from now on?

Seth getting out of jail: Hi Dad. I hope I’m not late for mom’s party.

Ryan: I cannot believe that you tried to steal Newport Chuck.
Seth: Sometimes the universe makes you do things that you don’t understand.
Ryan: Well Sandy didn’t seem too upset about it.
Seth: Sure. Are you kidding? He’s waited eighteen years for me to be arrested for political activism. It’s probably the proudest moment of his entire life.

Seth: It’s so weird.
Ryan: Yeah. Well, congratulations.
Seth: Yeah, it’s great. Especially since it makes me getting arrested seem trivial now, so—.
Kirsten: You got what?
Seth: Thanks for prepping her, Dad.

Seth: You guys off?
Che: Yes. To where the winds of liberty blow over the mountaintops.
Seth: So like Chicago or something?

The Case of the Franks

Psychic: Wait! This is important. I see the great love of your life.
Summer: Me too.
Psychic: The name’s coming to me. I see it.
Seth: Let me give you a little help: Seth.
Psychic: No.
Seth: Seth.
Psychic: No. It’s George.
Seth and Summer: George?
Psychic: There’s a lot of heat surrounding this name.
Seth: You’re leaving me for a guy named George?
Summer: No.
Psychic: She certainly is. Your destiny is with this George.

Ryan: Dude, it’s a psychic.
Seth: I know. And Summer says she’s not worried but I can tell she is. Which is why I dug into the archives and came up with evidence that we are, in fact, destined to be together.
Ryan: It’s a piece of loose leaf, crumpled.
Seth: I dug it out of the trash nine years ago.
Ryan: Okay. Explain that.
Seth: This, my friend, marks the first moment that I fell in love with Summer Roberts. It was the spring. 1998.
Ryan: Is this a long flashback? ‘Cause my break’s almost over.
Seth: Bear with me. It was the spring. 1998.

News Guy: Justin Timberlake is coming to the Bait Shop. Just how does such a small venue get such big names—
Summer: Falling skateboards? Justin Timberlake? Everything the psychic said is coming true. You know any second I’m just gonna get whisked away by some dude named George.
Seth: Relax. Now I know that psychic has a lot of credibility. She works at a kiosk and she doesn’t appear to charge for her services. But I think I am a judge of whether you and I are destined to be together than her and I brought proof. Happy early Valentine’s Day, Summer.
Summer: The Mermaid Poem.
Seth: It’s how I knew, even in fifth grade, you were the one. That’s pretty awesome, huh?
Summer: Oh my god.
Seth: I know.
Summer: I didn’t write this.
Seth: What?

Seth: But this mermaid poem is— It’s our roots. It’s our mythology.
Summer: What if our mythology is a sham? Something that we invented? What if we’re each other’s Jimmy Cooper?
Seth: What?
Summer: You know, the one before the one. The one that you think is right before you meet your Sandy Cohen.
Seth: Wait, are we saying that, because Taylor wrote the poem she’s my Sandy Cohen? Because as delicious a twist as that would be, it’s not going to happen.
Summer: No. I’m saying what if we’re not destined to be together? {Seth mulls}. That is your cue, Seth, to say that I am wrong.
Seth: Hm.

Seth: And over the last 950 days we’ve been dating—and yes, I’ve counted. And yes, I counted the Zach era. Because, really, who were we kidding—I’ve watched you grow into this incredible woman. And that is who I love.

Seth: What’s wrong?
Summer: I met GEORGE.
Seth: I’ll kill him.

The Shake-up

Seth: Hey, check it out, man. Summer challenged me to make this pretentious art film so I’m making one called Six Hours in the Pool.
Ryan: Sounds great.

Seth: So what am I supposed to do? Follow Ryan around with a camera until he punches someone?
Summer: Yes.

Seth shooting his movie: Ah, Taylor Townsend. The fast-talking Eve Harrington who melted Ryan’s heart. Tell us, Ryan, how does it feel to have Dean Hess’ sloppy seconds. Or… what did you get her? Either one.

Summer: But you love movies.
Seth: I do. I love going to them and then telling people what’s wrong with it.

The Night Moves

Summer: Not that I don’t want to play Pictionary by candlelight and raid Taylor’s apocalypse kit. I think we should just go to your house.
Seth: Okay. But I’m still awaiting news on Pancakes.

Ryan: It’s not that bad.
Seth: Dude, it’s bad.

Ryan: Seth, the hospital is like a mile away.
Seth: I know. Which is why I’m taking the secret back roads way that’s only a half mile. That was sarcasm. I’m pretty sure my shortcut got us lost.
Ryan: Well, the ocean’s on one side, the land’s on the other. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. That was sarcasm too. Sorry.
Seth: No, hey. So you’re a little on edge. A giant glass spear in the back will do that to a guy.
Ryan: It’s not a spear.
Seth: What is it, a— more of a spike, or a skewer?
Ryan: Dude, you’re doing a terrible job of trying to keep my mind off the pain. You’re supposed to talk about something else. Not the thing causing the pain.
Seth: True. But what are you doing to keep my mind off of your pain, ’cause right now you’re not looking too good, I’m starting to feel— What was that?
Ryan: It sounds like we hit something.
Seth: Oh god, not a body.
Ryan: Alright, well pull over or something. Go check.
Seth: With the zombies?

Seth: Ryan, you’re asking me to use tools and exert myself physically. I think we both know where this is going.

Seth: Um, you may find this hard to believe, Ryan, but when I was younger I used to be a bit of a worrier.
Ryan: You don’t say.
Seth: To distract myself from worrying, I would sometimes make lists. Um, it didn’t matter what the lists were—it could be anything. Every cereal I’ve ever eaten, or the names of every planet mentioned in Star Wars.
Ryan: You want to make a list, Seth?
Seth: Huh? Oh, you know, whatever. I mean sure, if you want to. We could start with everyone you’ve ever punched in the face since you moved to Newport. The first would be Luke at Holly’s beach house.
Ryan: Yeah, and number two would be Luke.
Seth: Right. At the diner.
Ryan: Yeah. And again at the model home.
Seth: Holly’s dad at Cotillion
Ryan: That was more of a tackle.
Seth: Which takes us back to Luke.
Ryan: Yeah. At TJ.

Seth: So listen, I’m gonna go on foot and get help I think.
Ryan: No no no.
Seth: Well we can’t stay here. I don’t even know where here is.
Ryan: I’m going with you.
Seth: No, it’s cool. Listen, I’m gonna come back as soon as I can. I promise.
Ryan: What about the zombies?
Seth: That’s a really good point.

Seth: Alright buddy. We have to keep you alert and on your feet. Now, when last we checked the list—need some help—we were on Trey. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe we went from Trey to a lengthy Volchok period.
Ryan: Yeah. Hey, thanks for this.
Seth: Yeah. Now unless you hit that Chili guy. Or Johnny. I know a lot of people were rooting for that.
Ryan: Well I did punch Johnny’s dad. Or a bounty hunter who worked for him.
Seth: Johnny’s dad was a bounty hunter?
Ryan: Oh yeah. I never told you that?

Seth: Okay, I’ve always wondered this. In your opinion who is a better food industry server? Chloe, the magical waitress from Albuquerque. Or Donnie, the angry busboy who shot Luke?
Ryan: Uh.. Chloe.
Seth: Chloe, huh. Good. That’s what I figured. [?] Sadie the tough-as-nails yet soulful jewelry maker or Lindsay my grandfather’s illegitimate booksmart child?
Ryan: I can’t, Seth.
Seth: Sure you can. It’s very easy.

Seth: Daryl?
Daryl: Hey Seth. How’s the earthquake treating you?

Seth: The doctors say you’re going to be fine. Although you’re going to have to wrap your head around the fact that we’re really brothers now. Or… blood brothers.
Ryan: You donated blood.
Seth: Eh. I had an extra few pints flowing through my veins. It was no big deal.
Ryan: You’re not a big fan of needles.
Seth: Nor of fainting, it turns out. But the bank was a little low and us O Negative guys gotta stick together.
Ryan: Hm. That’s weird because all the sudden I have this strange urge to listen to Death Cab and read comic books.
Seth: For real?
Ryan: No.
Seth: Ah, that’s too bad. Because if we could’ve turned this into a body swap comedy we could’ve squeezed another year or two out of this.
Ryan: So listen, I don’t know if I said this today, but—
Seth: You did. But after all the times you saved me, I was up. So…

The End’s Not Near, It’s Here

Six months later…

Sandy: I know you don’t like to leave your lair, but the inspector’s coming to the house today. I think everybody should be there.
Seth: This chair is my home now.

Seth: Ryan! Come in, sit.
Ryan: Yeah, that’s not going to happen.

Todd: Hello.
Ryan: Hi. So we’d like to buy your house. the homeowners laugh and shut the door in their face. They try again…
Seth: Please don’t shut the door—we’d really like to buy your house.
Todd: And you’re an adorable couple. But this house isn’t for sale.

Seth: I thought I had them with the hands in the cement.
Ryan: Me too.

Seth: If I look as good as you in 20 years I’ll be a happy man.
Sandy to Seth: Well thanks, but I’d like to see you happy now. For the last couple of months you’ve landed in a rut. At least a La-Z-Boy.

Seth: I’m not so sure that being with Summer is bringing out the best in either one of us right now. But I’m afraid to let her go, so…
Sandy: Well, things have a way of coming back around.

Summer: Just remember, this isn’t goodbye. You’re my destiny, Cohen.
Seth: Go save the world, Summer Roberts.

Seth: I’ve been doing some checking up on your new roommate. His favorite book and movie are the Da Vinci Code. He’s no me.
Ryan: You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Seth: At least I leave you funnier than when I found you.
Ryan: A lot better off than when you found me.
Seth: Me too.