The College Try

Summer: 48 hours ago, Coop, you were Newport’s Courtney Love.

Julie: Marissa, honey, you know it’s not too late to go with you. I promise I won’t embarrass you. I can pretend to be part of your entourage. Or your Scientology guide.

Neil (Michael Nouri): Honey, I don’t get it. You throw all of these parties with the dating service.
Julie: Well, I have Kirsten then. She’s my wing woman.
Neil: So invite Kirsten. And Sandy. He can network with the doctors and she can… wing woman.

Seth: Ryan, I am touching ivy right now.
Ryan: What?
Seth: Real ivy. It grows on the buildings here. Those pictures in the brochure, they are not Photoshopped.
Ryan: I take it you’re in the middle of the quad right now?
Seth: Yeah. Dead center.
Ryan: Pretty stealth. I can’t imagine anyone actually seeing you there.
Seth: I know, I know, it’s a Summer hot zone. I just had to come and visit campus for a few minutes.
Ryan: And it’s perfect?
Seth: Man, it’s better than perfect. Seth Cohen has come home to roost.
Anna off Screen: Cohen!?
Ryan: Who’s that?
Seth: I don’t know. I’m too afraid to turn around.

Seth: Mocking Newport with Anna Stern. That is one of my favorite pasttimes.
Anna (Samaire Armstrong): Mine too.

Brown Guy: The fact is, the US has been performing their own jihads for decades. Just instead of Allah, the killing is done in the name of oil.
Brown Girl: Totally.
Summer: You guys, what is a jihad?
Brown Guy: Exactly.
Brown Girl: Way to reframe the question, Summer.
Summer: Hm.

Marissa: So, I know the whole “friendship” thing didn’t really work out in Newport, but—
Ryan: That was Newport, you know. Everything feels different here. I’m willing to try.
Marissa: Hm. Well I don’t know. You know, ’cause if I was in your circle of friends I might accidentally let it slip that you used to do musicals.
Ryan: I have enough dirt on you to last the next four years. So bring it on.
Marissa: That might be true.

Tour Guy: Kumar? Your name is Kumar?
Seth: Yes. Kumar Zimmerman. I’m half-Indian, I’m half-Jewish. I am a HinJew.

Seth: Summer, you can’t just ignore me forever.
Summer: Oh yes I can. Don’t you remember middle school? I was really good at ignoring you. Now I’m just getting back in shape.

Sandy: You told him?
Kirsten: I didn’t think Ryan would come home.
Sandy: Oh, you know Ryan better than that.
Kirsten: It just happened. You weren’t there. You had to take a business call.
Sandy: Oh, so you told Ryan about Theresa to punish me.

Kirsten: I’d like to propose a toast. To Sandy Cohen. Who has told me countless times over the past year how important this hospital is to him.
Julie to Neil: Ouch.
Kirsten: You know, they say that when you grow up you marry your father. I thought I’d escaped that.