The Third Wheel

Sandy: She’s eating us out of house and home.
Kirsten: Sandy, it’s just a bagel.
Sandy: No no no. It’s never just a bagel.
Seth: Mom, as someone who’s basically been a shut-in for the last 17 years of his life I can pretty much say with the greatest authority, that woman never leaves the house.
Kirsten: She’s got nowhere else to go.
Ryan about Hailey: That’s because all her friends want to kick her ass. pause Sorry about the language.
Sandy: Why? I’d like to kick her ass.

Seth: What happened to Seth-Ryan time? That was quality time.
Ryan: Okay, I know I’ve been a little bit—
Seth: Ah, whipped?
Ryan: I’m not whipped.

Seth: Anna and I have decided to take it to the next level and I need some advice.
Ryan: You’re going to have sex.
Seth: No. That’s a good idea though.

Seth: Hey. Later, can we please finish this chat? Put a little Seth-Ryan time on the books?
Ryan: Yes, yes. Absolutely. Just gotta check with…
Seth: Oh, you forgot your balls.

Hailey: So now I’m broke and sleeping at my sister’s.
Hey, I’m broke and my wife is sleeping with your father. Fantastic.
Hailey: We’ve really done well for ourselves.

Luke: New year’s resolution: punch people less.
Ryan: Yeah. Mine, too.

Seth to himself Luke has a gay dad. Luke has a gay dad. {to Luke} Can’t wait to see it, buddy!

Seth: Dude. I cannot believe you live in the penthouse, man. This place is ridonculous.

Sandy: Anyone there going to be doing drugs?
Seth: I hope so. Otherwise it’d be a lame-ass rock concert.

Seth: to a singing Luke Hey man, you know who sings this song?
Luke: Rooney!
Seth: Yeah. And it should stay that way.

Sandy: Hey, Connect Four was happening. It gets my blood up.