Trey: I’m sorry Marissa. For everything. I just didn’t know how to make it right. And she offered me a way out.
Marissa: Who? Who did?
Trey: Your mom.
Marissa: Trey, if you want to make it right, there’s only one thing you can do.
Summer: Look, I know that our summer sucked.
Marissa: To say the least.
Summer: But we made it through it! No one is in juvie. Or in a jumpsuit.
Seth: I think Marissa would have worn one rather well. I do. It’s the right cut on you—
Summer: The point is. The four of us are together. It’s our senior year.
Summer: So. It’s our last time to make everything awesome.
Dean Jack Hess (Eric Mobius): You almost killed another kid. I don’t even hear a hint of remorse in your voice.
Marissa: Because I don’t have any. I’m proud of what I did and I’d do it again.
Marissa: Dad, look, I don’t know what kind of trouble you’re in, but if you have to go, then go. But if you leave, then I don’t want you to come back. It’s too hard to keep saying goodbye like this.
Marissa: Thanks. I really don’t know why she’s got it in for me.
Casey: My guess is the bag. And the shoes. And the Chanel necklace probably isn’t helping either, but it’s just a guess. Anyways, welcome to Newport Union. I’m Casey.
Marissa: Marissa. Cooper. You’re the first nice person I’ve actually met.
Casey: And I’m not even that nice.
Johnny: Either you’re the worst thief ever or it’s your first day.
Marissa: I can’t remember which locker is mine.
Johnny: Well it probably isn’t that one, because that one’s mine.
Marissa: Mom, Caleb was broke. It makes sense we have to sell everything. You know, you don’t have to protect me.
Julie: Well then do you think it would be alright with Summer if you stayed until we got back on our feet? And we will get back on our feet and we’ll be wearing very expensive shoes when we do.
Johnny: Marissa. Don’t listen to her.
Marissa: Why? She’s right. That’s why I’m here, now everyone’s gonna know.
Johnny: Yeah well, everyone already kind of knew.
Summer: Nightmares, huh? You know at first I thought you were just a sweaty sleeper. I didn’t want to say anything, but—
Marissa: Because I thought if I slept with you they’d go away.
Summer: You talk to Ryan about it?
Marissa: I try. I mean you know how he is.
Summer: Yeah, not much with words.
Marissa: And he went through it with me. He should understand.
Summer: Well I’m here.
Marissa: I jut wish that Ryan knew that was all he had to say.
Ryan: So look, I just want you to know I’m only here because Summer called.
Marissa: You sure you’re not here because you’re freaked out about me and Johnny?
Ryan: Well I wasn’t but I’m starting to think I should be. What’s going on with you guys?
Marissa: I just feel responsible. I mean if I hadn’t introduced Ryan to Johnny in the first place then he never would have gotten into a fight with that jerk.
Summer: Yeah well, if you wanna blame someone, why not Casey for hooking up with the Surf Nazi to begin with.
Marissa: I know. I still can’t believe she did that.
Summer: Hm. She had a reason.
Marissa: I’m only telling you so you can be on the lookout, okay? ‘Cause this guy’s crazy.
Chili: Gotcha. I’ll be on Amber Alert.
Chili: I can’t believe you dragged me out of bed for this. This is the worst idea ever.
Marissa: There’s no other way.
Chili: Okay, but seriously, you don’t know Volchok. Last year some guy snaked his wave, so he went up on the pier and dropped a kitchen sink on him. Where do you even get a kitchen sink?
Marissa: What’s that?
Summer: A tuba.
Marissa: Which you have why?
Summer: Because I do. Because in fith grade you know when I said I was going to Beauty Pageant camp? I was going to band camp and learning to play the tuba.
Seth: No. That’s just gas. Now listen, this wouldn’t be an ordinary Bar Mitzvah. You know what this would be? Wait for it… wait for it. A Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vakkah. Spell that, dude.
Ryan: That’s crazy.
Seth: Yeah? So crazy it just might work.
Marissa: So we throw a big party.
Summer: And Ryan gets the money from the Bar Mitzvah.
Marissa: And then we can spend it on Johnny’s surgery.
Ryan: How is this gonna work? Am I just gonna stand in front of Newport and sing Hebrew?
Seth: You chant. And hell yes.
Marissa: Hey. What are you doing here?
Ryan: I dropped by to give you an update. And some campaign swag. What do you think?
Marissa: I love it. What’s next? Coffee mugs? Baseball caps?
Ryan: Whatever it takes.
Marissa: I’m sorry. But we were just trying to spare you.
Kaitlin: From what? From being a part of this family?
Marissa: Ryan! Oh, sorry.
Johnny: I walked into that.
Ryan: Look, maybe you just feel sorry for him. Or, maybe sometimes you didn’t think you could talk to me, I wasn’t listening. Or maybe you’re in love with him. Either way you’ve gotta figure it out. Until then, I don’t want to see you.
Marissa: Look, I know things have been confusing—
Ryan leaves. Literally, figuratively and… temporarily. Marissa sucks.
About the Model Home mix tape:
Summer: So you’re making one for his birthday? That’s so romantic.
Marissa: No, just thoughtful.
Summer: Coop, you’re tapping into core relationship mythology. That’s romantic.
Marissa to Volchok: So what, are you stalking me now?
Julie: You know, the short stack really is the perfect amount.
Marissa: Look, mom, this is great and everything—
Julie: Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll stop stalling. The truth is I asked you to breakfast for a reason. For the past few months I’ve been seeing Neil Roberts.
Marissa: Dr. Roberts? Wait, what have you had done?
Summer banging outside the door: Coop! It’s me. Your best friend. You know, the one you tell everything to.
Volchok: Damn. My head.
Marissa: What time is it?
Summer: I know it’s tough being in there. My voice travels.
Marissa: Um. Okay, you’ve gotta hide.
Volchok: What? You live in a trailer.
Marissa: I’m coming, Sum. handing Volchok bottles Dump these. And this. Go!
Summer: Coop! My hand doesn’t remotely hurt. Coop!
Summer: Hi. Looking good, Coop. Very Kate Moss pre-Vanity Fair cover. Whatcha doin’?
Marissa: Uh. You know. Nothin’.
Summer: Hm. Did you have a good time last night?
Summer: Synapses are really firing, huh?
Marissa: I think I have a bit of a head cold.
Summer: Well, as long as you don’t have any other infectious diseases.
Summer: Remember when the boys made us watch that movie about the gay guys on the mountain?
Marissa: Lord of the Rings.
Summer: Yeah. And remember that Gollum guy, how he got evil and more evil the closer he got to that firey thing? That’s kind of how Seth is about Brown.
Heather: So, the princess fell off her throne and landed on Volchok’s mattress.
Marissa: Hey Heather. It’s good to see you too.
Heather: Who said it was good to see you?
Julie: Marissa, honey, you know it’s not too late to go with you. I promise I won’t embarrass you. I can pretend to be part of your entourage. Or your Scientology guide.
Marissa: Mom, you don’t have to worry, okay?
Julie: Kids go crazy at college. You’ve seen Girls Gone Wild.
Marissa: Yeah, I lived it. Not the topless part.
Marissa: So, I know the whole “friendship” thing didn’t really work out in Newport, but—
Ryan: That was Newport, you know. Everything feels different here. I’m willing to try.
Marissa: Hm. Well I don’t know. You know, ’cause if I was in your circle of friends I might accidentally let it slip that you used to do musicals.
Ryan: I have enough dirt on you to last the next four years. So bring it on.
Marissa: That might be true.
Marissa: Clearly I was wrong about you.
Volchok: Finally. You’re learning.
Annoying Chick: Shut up.
Kaitlin: You shut up.
Marissa: Okay, both of you shut up.
Ryan: You know, this is gonna sound weird, but can I drive you to the airport? You were the first person I met here, I’d kinda like to be the last person to say goodbye.
Marissa: You know, it’s funny. I was gonna ask you the same thing.
Summer: You guys ever wonder what life would be like if Atwood never came here?
Marissa: I definitely never would have talked to Seth.
Summer: Oh hell no. Me either.
Ryan: See, you owe me one, buddy.
Seth: Me? She’d still be dating the dude who shaves his chest.
Summer: I can’t believe that for a minute I was actually interested in Atwood. laughs Okay, no offense.
Ryan: None taken, biatch.
Marissa: It was only until you found out he was from Chino.
Ryan: You actually invited me to Holly’s beach house.
Summer: Oh my god!
Seth: You said she invited me. I’m not faring well, this trip down memory lane.