Season 1-2

Season One

The Model Home

Luke Ward: Shut up, queer.
Seth quietly: Yeah, well at least I don’t shave my chest.
Luke: What did you just say?
Seth: I said you look good in a sweater vest. It was a compliment.
Luke: Do you want me to break you, Cohen?
Ryan: Hey.
Luke: No way. Look who’s back. You know you’re a little far from 8 Mile.

Luke: You’re okay.
Ryan: Disappointed?

The Gamble

Marissa: Hey. I was hoping maybe we could talk.
Luke: Which one of us did you want to talk to?

The Debut

Luke: I’d be pretty jealous right now. If Chino wasn’t gay.
Marissa: Luke—
Luke: What? No, it doesn’t bother me. I mean he was born that way, right?

The Rescue

Marissa: Go away.
Luke: I just wanted to see you. I’m so sorry. About everything.
Marissa: Yeah, that’s what you said in Mexico.
Luke: That was a mistake.
Marissa: No kidding.
Luke: What are you doing dressed like that?
Seth: Uh hey, your mom and the doctor are on the move.
Luke: You’re running away?
Marissa: Look, Luke, please, I…
Luke: Take the stairs.

The Heights

Luke: Hey, Mr. Cooper.
Jimmy: Luke.
Luke: Yeah, So is this your new place? Looks great.
Jimmy: Not buying it, Luke.
Luke: Right.

Luke: We need to talk, Marissa.
Marissa: Believe me, you do not want to hear what I have to say.
Luke: Yes I do.
Marissa: No. All you want is for me to tell you that everything’s okay now. But I can’t. It’s not.
Luke: I know— I know. And I’m so sorry.
Marissa: I don’t care! I don’t care how you feel or what you’re going through. Because you sure as hell didn’t care about me.
Luke: That’s not true.
Marissa: I slept with you. And then you went and slept with one of my best friends. I waited for you and you lied to me. You humiliated me.

The Secret

Luke: What are you looking at, queer?
Seth: Is somebody writing you new material? Luke lunges at him. Alright. Go with what works.

Luke: This is going to be weird.
Ryan: Yep.
Luke: Everybody’s going to be staring at me and talking.
Marissa: Yep.
Luke: Maybe I can just blow the whole thing off. Go to the beach, give everybody time to get it out of their systems.
Ryan: It doesn’t work like that. It’s been months and I’m still the kid from Chino that burned a house down.
Marissa: And I’m still the girl who tried to kill herself in Mexico.
Seth: I’m still… I’m still Seth Cohen.
Luke: Man this is going to suck.
Seth: Yeah, well, welcome to my world.

The Third Wheel

Luke: New year’s resolution: punch people less.
Ryan: Yeah. Mine, too.

Seth: to a singing Luke Hey man, you know who sings this song?
Luke: Rooney!
Seth: Yeah. And it should stay that way.

The Links

Seth: Did you rob a liquor store, Luke?
Luke: Cohen. You can’t play golf without a buzz on.
Seth: Thanks for the tip, Bagger Vance.
Luke: A blender. Nice thinking, Cohen.
Seth: Yeah, no. It’s actually a humidifier. I get nose bleeds.

Luke: Hey, Chino, why don’t you ride with me!

Luke about Oliver: I could hurt that guy.
Ryan: So could I.

Luke: Hey, nobody’s looking. {Ryan taps it in with his foot} Oh! Nice shot buddy!

Marissa: Are you okay? You know he was just playing.
Ryan: I’m fine.
Luke: That guy was not playing,

Luke: So you and Cohen, huh? It must be kind of weird to see him with someone else.

The Rivals

Danny (Bret Harrison): Hey, who took the jelly out of your donut? Somebody call CSI. We’ve got ourselves a cold one here. Huh?
Luke: CSI!
Danny: Hey, tag that toe!

Luke: Just give me the word and I will drop the Great Gatsby.

The Truth

Marissa’s phone rings and she hesitates answering it
Oliver: It’s Ryan, isn’t it?
Luke: You’re not gonna get it?
Oliver: She’s not talking to Ryan right now.
Luke: Is she still talking to me or are you doing all of her talking from now on?

Seth: You don’t think that’s a little crazy?
Luke: Dude, have you met Oliver?

The Telenovela

Luke: I gotta motor. I don’t want to be late for homeroom.
Julie: You have homeroom? Right. Because you’re in high school. Because you’re eighteen.

The Goodbye Girl

Luke: The sooner you realize that it’s never going to go back to the way it was, the sooner you can move on.

The L.A.

Luke: Hey man, what’s up?
Ryan: Nothing. So … did you have sex with Julie Cooper today?

The Nana

Luke: Hey, Cohen, get up.
Seth: It’s my precious, you can’t have it!

The Proposal

Luke: Thanks for meeting me.
Julie: Well it’s not like I had any choice. Phonecalls and emails. I had to block you from my buddy list, you were so incessant.
Luke: You blocked me? I thought you were offline.

Luke: I’m leaving town. Now that the divorce is final my dad just wants to get out. So we have family in Portland.
Ryan: You’re going with him?

Ryan: Just give me your keys, let me drive you home okay?
Luke: What home?!

Luke jokingly, to Ryan: Welcome to Portland, bitch.

Season Two

The Distance

Luke: Cohen got in a little fight with his mom.
Seth: Thanks. That was both honest and emasculating.

Seth: She has to understand it’s not all about her.
Luke: You’ve got some willpower, because she has a killer rack.

Luke: C’mon, Chino. Try and hurt me. Make me feel pain. Wound me.
Seth: Do you know all the money Luke saves on therapy through this thing.