Upgrades

O’Neill: [T]he Tok’ra are starting to annoy me in general.
Carter: Sir?
O’Neill: Don’t get me wrong, Carter. Your dad’s great, I love him like a brother. It’s just that every time they show up it seems like there’s all kinds of— {Anise walks through the Gate}
Jackson: Yep. That looks like trouble to me.

Anise (Vanessa Angel): You may call me Anise.
Jackson: Anise.
Anise: It means “noble strength”.
Jackson: I’m Daniel. It means, ah, “God is my judge.”
O’Neill: I’m Jack. It means…. What’s in the box?

O’Neill: What’s that mean?
Anise: The device is working.
O’Neill: I don’t feel like leaping any tall buildings.
Anise: It may take time for the device to adjust to your body.

O’Neill: Teal’c. I’m really sorry.
Teal’c: You are not.
O’Neill: He’s right about that.

Anise: Your strength is five times that of a normal human.
O’Neill: So, no increase then, huh?

Jackson: Did you just read that?
O’Neill: I guess. Don’t ‘spose there’s another book around that explains this book?
Jackson: What reason did Hobbes give for the fall of the civilization?
O’Neill: Failing agricultural infrastructure.
Jackson: Jack, that’s unbelievable.
O’Neill: Hey, it’s just theory.

Hammond: Colonel, I’m concerned that you aren’t in full control of your new abilities.
O’Neill: Well you might be right about that. It’s just so damn exciting, sir!
Hammond: I’m sure it is.
O’Neill: And even if we’re not in total control, shouldn’t we be out there doing the damage instead of in your office?

Waitress: What can I get you?
O’Neill: Three of the biggest steaks you’ve got. With everything. Rare. And a baked potato.
Waitress: You got it. {she turns to leave}
O’Neill: Excuse me. That was for me.

Bar Patron: Geek.
Jackson: Excuse me?
O’Neill: Let it go.
Jackson: No. Not this time.
Bar Patron: Yeah? What are you going to do? {they advance on Jack and Daniel}
O’Neill: Well. This is a cliché.

Hammond: I thought the devices were supposed to enhance them physically, not make them stupid.

O’Neill: We’ll need snacks.

O’Neill: I should have brought more snacks.
Carter: I don’t think that would have helped.

Hammond: What happened?
O’Neill: The damn armbands fell off is what happened.

O’Neill: I’m sorry.
Carter: Me too.
Jackson: Me three.
Teal’c: I have no need to apologize.
Hammond: Teal’c was actually following orders.
O’Neill: Of course he was.