Season 1

Children of the Gods

Major Samuels: Colonel Jack O’Neill?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Retired.
Samuels: I’m Major Samuels.
O’Neill: Air Force?
Samuels: Yes sir. I’m the General’s executive officer.
O’Neill: Want a little piece of advice, Major. Get reass’d to NASA. That’s where all the action’s going to be. Out there.
Samuels: I’m under orders to bring you to General Hammond, sir.
O’Neill: Never heard of him.
Samuels: He replaced General West. He says it’s important. It has to do with the Stargate.

General Hammond: Anyone you know, Colonel?
Doctor: They’re not human.
O’Neill: Ya think?

General Hammond: You didn’t like Daniel Jackson, did you?
O’Neill: Daniel was a scientist. He sneezed a lot. Basically he was a geek, sir.
Samuels: So you didn’t have a lot of time for him.
O’Neill: I didn’t say that. He also saved my life and found the way home for my men and me. A little thing like that kinda makes a person grow on you.

Major Charlie Kawalsky (Jay Acovone): Man, Colonel. You and me went through that entire mission together, I never even knew you had a son.
O’Neill: He died. Just before the Abydos mission.

General Hammond: We’ll have the prototype probe shipped from MIT.
O’Neill: General, we don’t need that probe.
Kawalsky: We don’t?
O’Neill: Nope. grabs the tissue box. This’ll do.

Carter: So you’re saying Ra’s not the last of his race after all.
Kawalsky: Maybe he’s got a brother Ray.
O’Neill: That’s what we need.

General Hammond: Major Kawalsky, you will head SG-2.
Kawalsky: I will?
General Hammond: Colonel O’Neill keeps telling me it’s about time you had a command.
O’Neill: I had a moment of weakness.

Samuels: I kind of wish I was going with you.
Kawalsky: I’m kind of glad you’re staying behind.

O’Neill: Hold down the fort.
Kawalsky: Pick me up a t-shirt.

The Enemy Within

Martin Kennedy (Alan Rachins): These slaves, where do they come from?
Teal’c: There is a tale of a primitive world the Goa’uld discovered Millennia ago. The Tau’ri. First world where forms of this type evolved. It is said the Goa’uld harvested among the primitives. Some became Goa’uld hosts, others became Jaffa. The rest were taken as slaves and seeded among the stars to serve them. That world has been lost for centuries.
Kennedy: Teal’c, beings of this form evolved here on Earth.
Teal’c: This world—
O’Neill: —is the world you’re talking about. Ra came here. If our ancestors hadn’t rebelled and buried the Stargate—
Teal’c: You would have not become strong enough to challenge them.
Kennedy: Then the galaxy is populated by the ancient peoples of Earth.
Hammond: There could be millions by now.
Teal’c: Then you are their greatest hope. And mine.

O’Neill: Listen, um, I gotta ask you something. It’s not easy for me.
Kawalsky weakly: We’re friends.
O’Neill: If you don’t make it, can I have your stereo?

Kennedy: I heard the operation was a complete success, sir. Congratulations. And I have my orders to return to Langley.
Hammond: Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.
Kennedy: With Teal’c, sir. I have his travel orders as well.
Hammond: You do realize that without his cooperation in finding an anesthetic the operation might have been a failure.

Emancipation

Mughal: If you travel this country you must learn our ways.
Carter: I’m thinkin’ we should just go back while we’re ahead.

Mughal: All Shavadai, be free! (the women remove their veils) It is how you will be remembered, Carter.

The Broca Divide

About the lack of light on P3X-797
Jackson: This is crazy. We don’t know what could be there waiting for us when we come through.
Makepeace: Don’t you worry, boys. That’s why the SG-3 Marines are coming with. You can count on us to watch your backsides.
Jackson: Actually it’s more my front side I was worried about.

The First Commandment

Connor (Roger Cross): The people here, they believe he’s their god.
Teal’c: Because you came through the Stargate.
Connor: No no. You don’t get it. Hanson believes it to.

Carter: Look, I don’t understand how that could happen anymore than you do. But if SG-1 is going after him then I am going with you.
Connor: Wait a minute. No, you can’t do that. There are hundreds—probably thousands— of them. He’s their god. They’ll die for him, they’ll kill for him in a heartbeat.
O’Neill: That’s not your problem. Now I need someone to report back to the General and that is you.
Connor: No, sir.
O’Neill: “No, sir”? Does it say “colonel” anywhere on my uniform?

Hanson: I’ve been carrying this for years. All along I’ve been looking for God. And here I am.

Teal’c: This is the Stargate. Here is the temple.
Jamala: Good drawing.
Teal’c: Thank you.

Brief Candle

Kynthia: But you ate the marriage cake, came to my bed.
O’Neill: “Marriage cake”?

Cold Lazarus

Sara O’Neill: That other guy. Do you know what he said?
O’Neill: I have a pretty fair idea.
Sara: We were great together.
O’Neill: The greatest.

Thor’s Hammer

Gairwyn: You’re a little short for gods.

Thor (as a Norse God hologram):
O’Neill: Teal’c, I think we just got the answering machine.

Unas (James Earl Jones): Jaffa. I am Unas. The First One.
Teal’c: You do not exist.
Unas: Kill the human.
O’Neill: Excuse me?
Unas: And we will feast together.
Teal’c: I no longer serve the Goa’uld.
Unas: We shall see.

Unas: I know the secrets of the Labyrinth. I could help you escape.
O’Neill: A map would be nice.

The Torment of Tantalus

Ernest: Littlefield: No prize is worth attaining if you can never share it. There would be no point. Believe me. I know.

Catherine Langford about Gate travel: It’s a piece of cake.
Ernest: Not from what I remember.

Bloodlines

Teal’c: If we are discovered, you will be brought before Apophis along with us.
O’Neill: We’ll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it.
Bra’tac (Tony Amendola): No. The bridge is too well guarded.
O’Neill: No, actually there I was using a cliche that…

Bra’tac: Teal’c tells me your world is without gods. Difficult to imagine.
O’Neill: Oh it’s not without gods. A lot of people believe there’s a god. Not everyone believes in the same god in the same way, but…. Well let’s just say nobody believes in anyone with glowing eyes and a snake in his head.
Bra’tac: Then you serve no one.
O’Neill: I serve the SGC under a General Hammond.
Bra’tac: So this Hammond is—
O’Neill: Just a man. A very good, very bald man from Texas.

O’Neill: Alright, here’s the plan.
Bra’tac: You will do as I say.
O’Neill: Right.

Fire and Water

 

The Nox

Carter: Sir, with respect, this program is quite probably humanity’s most important endeavor.
Secretary: They said the same thing about the Apollo programs. They brought back moon rocks. You may have notice we haven’t been to the moon in 25 years.

O’Neill about Nafrayu: I told him to go home.
Antaeus (Armin Schimerman): I told you the same. The very young do not always do what they are told.

Apophis (Peter Williams): Fool! I will kill you.
O’Neill: Again?

Antaeus: Maybe one day you will learn that your way is not the only way.

Hathor

Hathor: We are the mother of all pharaohs.
O’Neill: Of course we are.

Hathor: You, with the crown of marble.
O’Neill to Hammond: She… might mean you, sir.

O’Neill: Did you find anything?
Dr. Janet Fraiser: Probably nothing we can use. We’ll at least get a cellular level analysis on the Goa’ulds. Maybe even find some DNA information.
Jackson: A lot of that will probably be mine.
O’Neill: Ew.
Jackson: Yeah.

Cor-ai

Hanno: He is the one! He killed my father!
If you are right, he will be put through the Cor-ai. We do not take revenge like this, or we are no better than the Jaffa.

O’Neill: I don’t suppose we could get him out on bail?
Hanno: He is guilty. He must pay for what he has done.
O’Neill: And you’ve already decided this?
Hanno: Yes.

Hanno: You would save those who wish to kill you?
Teal’c: I would save those who deserve to live.
Hanno: I have made a mistake. My memory was faulty. You are not the same man as he who murdered my father.
Teal’c: I am the one.
Hanno: No. That Jaffa is dead. You have killed him.

Singularity

Dr. Janet Fraiser (Teryl Rothery): This can’t be.
Carter: She’s infected, isn’t she?
Fraiser: No she’s not.
Carter: Well what’s wrong then?
Fraiser: There are traces of the element the Stargate is made of in her blood.
Carter: Naquadah?
Fraiser: Yeah.

Hammond: What happened?
Fraiser: We counted 1,432 dead. I believe we may be indirectly responsible.
Hammond: How?
Fraiser: It’s possible someone from Earth brought a normally harmless bacteria to that planet. It learned some traits from a local organism and mutated into the most deadly infectious strain I’ve ever encountered.

Carter: You feel like telling me your name?
Cassandra: Cassandra.
Carter: Hi Cassandra.
Cassandra: I hurt.
Carter: Where?

Jackson: It’s a setup. It has to be. The Goa’ulds wiped out every last living person on that planet except Cassandra. And then they made us think it was our fault because they knew we wouldn’t leave her there. They knew we would bring her back here. And they used their technology to put that thing inside of her.
Carter: It’s like they designed a way to help them create the device after she came through the Stargate so we wouldn’t detect it until it was too late.
Fraiser: We gave her iron supplements. We may even have turned the device on with a jolt of electricity when we resuscitated her.
Hammond: You’re saying it’s meant to destroy us?
Carter: At least this complex. The threat to the Goa’ulds is the Stargate.
Jackson: It’s like they used that little girl like a Trojan horse.

Carter: I have to go.
Cassandra: You promised you’d never leave me alone.
Carter: I’ll come back, okay? I’ll be back. You’re very brave, remember?
Cassandra: I’m very brave.
Carter: I have to close the door.

Cassandra: Are we going to die?
Carter: No. We are not going to die.

Cassandra: We’re both very brave. I love you.
Carter: I love you too.

Cassandra: What’s that?
O’Neill: We have a rule here on Earth. Every kid has got to have a dog. This is a dog. And he’s yours.

Enigma

Narim: Don’t… help us.

Omoc (Tobin Bell): Where is this place?
Hammond: You’re on a planet called Earth. These people saved you.
Omoc: Nothing could be further from the truth.
Jackson: Well unless I missed something you’re better off here than you were there.

Hammond: You remember Narim.
Carter: Yes. From the planet. You were a lot dirtier then.
Narim: Ah, Captain Carter. Or is it Doctor?
Carter: Why don’t we just make it Samantha.

Narim: There was a time before reason and science when my ancestors believed in all manner of nonsense. Like the Sher-mal. The story goes that if a Sher-mal appears at the moment of death, she will take you to her dwelling in the stars.
Carter: Ah. We called them “angels”.
Narim: Then you still believe in them?
Carter: Well. Some of us do.
Narim: Ours were reported to be quite beautiful. And when I saw you… well, you seemed to fit the description.

Teal’c: This is knowledge far beyond that of the Goa’uld.
Colonel Mayborne (Tom McBeath): That’s exactly what the President and Joint Chiefs want to hear. Colonel Mayborne, sir. NID.
O’Neill: Intelligence? What happened to Kennedy?
Colonel Mayborne: Promoted. I took his place.
O’Neill: Promoted? Talk about failing upwards.

Lya: Your race has learned nothing. But you have. The Tollans are most welcome to join the Nox.

Tin Man

Harlan: Comtraya! Comtraya!
O’Neill: Daniel?
Jackson: I think that’s a greeting.
Harlan: Yes. It is.

Harlan: You are all such wonderful specimens. to Carter: You in particular.
Carter: Colonel.
O’Neill: Easy, Captain.

Fraiser: Colonel, how do you feel?
O’Neill: Never felt better in my life. It’s got me a little worried, actually.
Fraiser: Yeah well, this has got me a little worried. {she hands him her stethoscope}. Listen.
O’Neill: I don’t hear anything. What, this is better? I’m dead?

Solitudes

 

There But for the Grace of God

Jackson: I know you. I belong here. You don’t.
Catherine Langford: Excuse me.
Jackson: You were retired. Uh, at least the Air Force made you retire. You were supposed to be at home living happily ever after with Ernest.
Catherine Langford: What?
Jackson: The man you were supposed to marry in 1945.

Jackson: So if you’ve never been to Chulak you’ve probably never even met Teal’c.
General O’Neill: Teal?
Jackson: No. Teal’c!

General O’Neill: Report, Doctor.
Dr. Carter: We’ve lost Washington and Philadelphia, sir.
Jackson: I’m sorry. What do you mean “lost”?

Broadcaster: All military efforts to engage the Goa’uld ships have proven inconsequential. As in Europe, Asia and Africa—
Jackson: The Goa’ulds?
Dr. Carter: The ships appeared four days ago.
Broadcaster: —they have slowly begun systematically annihilating all signs of civilization. Starting on the East Coast and moving west with frightening inevitability. There has been no response to attempted communications with the aliens. Thus far, they have left no survivors in the wake of their seemingly unstoppable wave of destruction.

Jackson: You’re sending a nuclear weapon to Chulak?
General O’Neill: You got a problem with that?
Jackson: The Jaffa aren’t your enemy. They’re slaves.

General O’Neill: Unless this man has more information we can use I don’t want to see him again.

Dr. Carter: Basically, scientists have theorized that there are an infinite number of dimensions, each containing a possible version of reality.
Jackson: Well it sounds like I theoretically possibly found one.

Jackson: Uh oh.
Dr. Carter: What?
Jackson: I think I’m dead.
Dr. Carter: What?
Jackson: The me in this reality.

Dr. Carter: It’s incredible.
General O’Neill: It’s supposed to be theoretical.
Dr. Carter: Not anymore.

Dr. Carter: What makes you think the Goa’uld are even going to try attacking Earth in your universe?
Jackson: Oh I’d say we’ve pissed the Goa’uld off just as much as you have. Probably even more.

Catherine: I take it they’re not engaged in your reality.
Jackson: No.

Jackson: Thank you.
Catherine: You helped reunite me with Ernest in the other world? {he nods}. I guess in the grand scheme of things, we’re even.

Dr. Carter: Oh yeah. I also wish to blow us all to hell. {she pulls out a grenade and its pin from behind her back}

Politics

Carter: Major Samuels.
Lt. Col. Samuels: That’s Lieutenant Colonel Samuels now, Captain.
Carter: I beg your pardon, sir. Congratulations.
O’Neill: You’ll always be “Sparky” to me.

Senator Kinsey (Ronny Cox): So this must be the infamous SG-1.
O’Neill: Infamous. Yes sir.
Senator Kinsey (Ronny Cox): Colonel, I’ve heard a lot about you.
O’Neill: Don’t believe a word of it, sir. I’m actually a very nice guy.
Senator Kinsey: And this must be the drain through which the money flows.

Kinsey: Teal’c. With an apostrophe, I understand.

Kinsey: I am by nature suspicious of all things secretive, be they in the government or inside the military service. I believe that which grows in shadow but whithers in the light of day, does not belong on the vine.

Kinsey: Now, do you stand behind SG-1’s record?
O’Neill: Yes. I do.
Kinsey: Then let’s just go through it, shall we?

Kinsey: Admittedly these Goa’uld are a dangerous race.
Teal’c: More dangerous than you could possibly know.
Kinsey: If they’re so strong why did you switch sides in the first place?
Teal’c: Because what is right cannot be measured by strength. Your world values freedom. I wish that very same freedom for my people.
Kinsey: I don’t want to appear callous, sir, but I believe that’s your problem. Not ours.
Teal’c: It will soon be yours as well, Senator Kinsey. For the Goa’uld are as powerful as they are evil. The Goa’uld have enslaved a galaxy of worlds.
Kinsey: I don’t care about other worlds. I must place the citizens of this country first.
Teal’c: Then you would be wise to heed our warning, Senator Kinsey. For when the Goa’uld do finally come in force—and then will—your citizens, as the strongest most powerful in this world, will be among the first to die.

Jackson: SG-2 just made contact with Kynthia’s planet just a few weeks ago. They are living long, productive lives because of us. Now I am very proud of what we did there.
O’Neill: I might even retire there.
Kinsey: You have no fear of it, do you Colonel? It’s like a game to you.
O’Neill: No sir. Anything as powerful as the Stargate deserves respect. We know how dangerous it is to do what we do. We also know how dangerous it is.
Kinsey: Colonel O’Neill, You’re like reckless children and you’re playing with fire.
Carter: If you shut down this program now, when it’s needed most—
Kinsey: For what?
Carter: To gather technology. Weapons.
Kinsey: Not at this price or this level of competence.
Hammond: My people are the best out there, Senator.
Kinsey: I’m sorry, General. But your best is not good enough. I do not approve of nor support this endeavour. And I have heard nothing here today that would change my mind. I intend to shut the Stargate down.

Carter: Sir. We think Daniel may have experienced an interdimensional transfer to an alternate reality.
Kinsey: I beg your pardon?

Jackson: I am not crazy.
Kinsey: Nor am I, Dr. Jackson. Neither am I am unused to eleventh hour pleas, though never have I heard one so desperate as this.
Jackson: Senator, they are coming.
Kinsey: Then I say let them come!
O’Neill: Where do you get this bureaucratic bull? You’re talking suicide.

Within the Serpent’s Grasp

Hammond: I’d like to reemphasize, Major, that officially your primary mission is to bring back SG-1 for court martial.
Major : Yes sir.
Hammond: Major, bring them back alive and well.
Major : That’s my plan, sir.

O’Neill: I’m not talking to the thing in your head, I’m talking to Skaara.
Skaara/Klorel: Nothing of the host survives.
O’Neill: That’s bullshit!

Hammond: I guess Dr. Jackson is lucky.
Harriman: How so, sir?
Hammond: He won’t have to be around to watch his nightmare come true for a second time.