Major Davis (Colin Cunningham): If they have someone on the inside, why can’t they do something?
Hammond: They did, Major.
Hammond: One armored platoon should be able to take the Stargate.
Major Davis: General. Sir. I’m sorry, but it’s not up to me. Even if it was I don’t agree.
Hammond: I don’t really give a damn if you don’t agree with me, Major.
Hammond: Yee ha!
O’Neill: Alright. Who’s this Setesh fella?
Jackson: Otherwise known as Setec. Set. Seti. Seth. Ancient Egyptian god of chaos. The embodiment of hostility and… outright evil.
Hammond: Why haven’t we heard of him before?
Jackson: Well I’m guessing we haven’t even scratched the surface on meeting all the Goa’uld System Lords. There’s probably thousands we haven’t even heard of, right?
Jacob: Only dozens in the ranks of System Lords. Thousands of Goa’ulds in general.
Carter: What makes you think we would have met this one?
Jacob: The Tok’ra council has been taking a Goa’uld census of sorts. Where the System Lords have positioned themselves, what domain they rule. Who serves under them, that sort of thing. But there’s one Goa’uld we’ve lost track of.
Jacob: Our record of him ends when Earth’s gate was buried in ancient Egypt
Carter: Are you saying he never left?
Jacob: That’s our theory. We think he still might be here. Hiding among Earth’s people.
Hammond: Before we finish today, I have one other small bit of business. Please come to attention. “From the Vice Chief of Staff of the Air Force. In recognition of Captain Samantha Carter’s outstanding work I hereby authorize her immediate promotion to the rank of Major.”
Carter: We can’t prove anything, sir. All we know for sure is that Nirrti lied.
O’Neill: Kronos doesn’t know that. Nirrti doesn’t know what else we know.
Jackson: Which is nothing.
O’Neill: Quiet. But she doesn’t know we know nothing.
Hammond: What are you suggesting?
O’Neill: I’m just saying maybe it’s time we take a page out of the Asgard book on dealing with these Goa’ulds.
Jackson: You’re gonna bluff?
Hammond: Sounds risky, Colonel.
O’Neill: Yes sir.
Hammond: She’s got nanites in her blood?
Hammond: So once Merrin returns to Orban she will undergo this Averium and her nanites will be removed.
Fraiser: Yes sir.
O’Neill: Then maybe she won’t return to Orban.
O’Neill: General! She’s going back to get her brain sucked out. And I dare anybody to phrase it more delicately.
Hammond: Is there something I can help you with, Dr. Jackson?
Jackson: Yes sir. I’ve come to tender my resignation.
Hammond: I won’t accept it.
Jackson: I’m not military, sir. And it’s a free country. Last I checked anyway.
Hammond: You’re obviously in an emotional state right now. You’re making rash decisions. Why don’t you take some personal time. Then see how you feel.
Jackson: That’s not necessary, sir. I joined this program so that I could find my wife. I found her. End of story.
Martouf: The Tok’ra believe that Sokar is about to launch a massive attack against the System Lords.
O’Neill: Isn’t that good news?
Teal’c: The chaotic and feudal disorganization of the System Lords’ fragmented rule is a far more vulnerable target than that of one powerful Goa’uld.
Martouf: Especially if that Goa’uld is Sokar.
Hammond: He’s really that much worse than the others?
Jackson: Of all the gods he picked to impersonate, he chose the Devil.
Fraiser: It must have something to do with the alien symbiote within him. It took an extremely large dose just to sedate him in the first place.
Hammond: What is the problem with the human?
Fraiser: Her bio-chemistry has been altered. It is related to her prior infestation by the dominant parasitical species of this galaxy.
Hammond: Is there a way to compensate?
Fraiser: I have not found one yet.
Hammond: Place them in a holding cell. Once the invasion is complete you may study them further. Only then will we know if this is a viable new home.
Maybourne: So. You came to the one person you don’t trust.
Carter: I don’t know how far up the chain of command the infiltration goes. It may well be contained within the SGC, but if General Hammond was compromised—
Maybourne: He sounded fine to me on the phone.
Maybourne: He called me, Major. Calm down. He’s concerned for you, that’s all.
Carter: I told you we had a foothold situation.
Maybourne: Major, a chemical spill causing paranoid delusion is infinitely more plausible to me than aliens taking over the SGC.
Carter: My god. You don’t think I can tell the difference between the two? What was I thinking—
O’Neill: Oh hi, Carter.
Carter: Maybourne you are an idiot every day of the week. Why couldn’t you have just taken one day off?
Hammond: Appreciate your help in this matter, Maybourne.
Maybourne: Credit Major Carter. I do.
Hammond: Can these devices be removed?
Fraiser: Not without causing irreparable brain damage, sir.
O’Neill: What’s the down side?
Fraiser: How they were implanted without any external marks or injury to the cortex is beyond me.
Hammond: Can we determine what threat they pose?
O’Neill: Apparently all desserts on base are in extreme danger.
Hammond: That was our last shot, people. I’m calling this one. As of of right now I’m officially declaring him missing in action.
Teal’c: General Hammond, perhaps Edora could be reached by another means.
Jackson: That’s right, the Tok’ra could send a ship.
Carter: Or the Tollan.
Carter: Teal’c you’ll need to secure yourself above the event horizon as soon as you’re on the other side. You’ll have to carry everything you need.
Teal’c: I understand.
Hammond: I hope you do, son. Because if you fail to dig your way to the surface, this will be a one-way trip.
Hammond: So, what did you have to promise them in return, Dr. Jackson?
Jackson: Actually, General, we didn’t, ah… promise to give them anything.
Hammond: They just gave you the device as a reward for saving them from the Goa’uld?
Jackson: Actually, General, the Tollan refused to give us any technology.
O’Neill: Offered us a nice fruit basket though.
Hammond: I’m confused. How did you get the device? Major Carter?
O’Neill: I took it, sir.
Hammond: Took it?
Hammond: You stole it?
O’Neill: I’d like to think of it as borrowed, sir. Major Carter can figure out how to reproduce it and we’ll give it back.
Hammond: I can’t believe what I’m hearing. You and your team stole an alien device from an extremely advanced alien culture?
O’Neill: They won’t retaliate, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s not their way. Right, Daniel?
Hammond: This command has already been accused of stealing from several other alien cultures, Colonel. Until now we’ve denied it. Perhaps that was a bit premature. Dare I ask how many other items you’ve stolen?
O’Neill: None. This is the first.
Hammond: Colonel, you don’t seem to understand how serious this matter is. You and your team committed a court martialable offence.
O’Neill: To be fair, General, I did it. Carter and Daniel protested. And Teal’c… well he really didn’t say anything but I could tell he was opposed to my actions by the way he cocked his head and sort of raised his eyebrow—
Hammond: Enough, Colonel. Dr. Jackson, Major Carter and Teal’c, you will return this device immediately to the Tollan. And hopefully smooth over what must be some very ruffled feathers.
Carter: Yes sir.
O’Neill: Why? Our core mission is to go through that gate and find technologies we can use to defend against Goa’uld incursion. Am I right?
Hammond: You are bordering on insubordination. We do not steal from friendlies.
O’Neill: Well with no due respect, General, that’s just plain stupid.
O’Neill: And since the Pentagon won’t approve our back-up program we have no choice.
Hammond: Colonel, do not go there.
O’Neill: We have no choice but to take whatever steps we need to get what we need.
Hammond: As long as I am in command of the SGC we will hold yourself to the highest ethical standard.
O’Neill: And when the Goa’uld wipe us out because we have nothing with which to defend ourselves I’m sure we’ll all feel great about ourselves and our high moral standards!
Hammond: Colonel O’Neill, you are out of line. Now stand down.
Hammond: Colonel O’Neill, I am hereby relieving you of your command. You are to report to the infirmary and stay there until I send for you.
O’Neill: No holding cell, sir?
Hammond: That could very well be your next stop if you say another word, Colonel.
Hammond: What you have done here is clearly a court-martialable offense. I have to press charges.
O’Neill: Well. By all means, General, do what you have to do.
Hammond: I do have one other option I can offer you, Jack.
O’Neill: What’s that?
Hammond: Early retirement.
O’Neill: Now see I tried that once before and you pulled me out of it.
Hammond: The offer is only on the table while you’re in the room.
O’Neill: All this for one little indiscretion?
Hammond: Since SG-1 is considered the flagship unit, it falls on me to assure that you have the strongest possible leadership. Therefore I’m reassigning the most senior officer we have in the field as your new commanding officer. Colonel Makepeace will be joining SG-1 immediately. I hope you’ll make him feel welcome.
Jackson: Sir, ah, I don’t want to seem out of line here but, ah… since I’m a civilian here I’m probably the only one that can say this…
Hammond: Spit it out, Doctor.
Jackson: Well, no offense, but doesn’t Major Carter deserve to take charge of SG-1?
Hammond: Major Carter has an exemplary record on the team, as recognized by her recent promotion to Major. But Major is a far cry from Colonel.
Carter: I understand, General.
Jackson: I’m sorry, I don’t. What difference does it make what title she has? The point is—
Carter: It’s all right, Daniel. Really.
Hammond: Welcome back, Major.
Major Davis: General, I wish it wasn’t always under such unusual circumstances.