Psych Season 5

One, Maybe Two, Ways Out


Jon Gries

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Santa Barbara 0837 Hours

Gus: This is because she’s dating Declan now.
Shawn: I wouldn’t call it dating.
Gus: What would you call it?
Shawn: Dating. I just didn’t want to say it.

Shawn: My spirit has to remain unchained, Gus. Like my melodies.

Shawn: Lassie, what’s up?
Lassiter: Spencer. I just got a call about a white guy and a black guy running down the boardwalk wreaking havoc and I immediately thought of you guys. Are you involved?
Shawn: Don’t know anything about said havoc.
Lassiter: What about reports of a black ops helicopter circling the bay firing of shots?
Shawn: Helicopter in Santa Barbara firing off shots? Lassie, please! Go to men’s bathroom, behind the condom machine is a vial of sanity serum. Crack it, digest, call me in half an hour.

Shawn: Do you still have that giant astronomy coloring book back in the Psych office?
Gus: It’s not a coloring book.
Shawn: Uh oh. {to Nadia} He’s gonna be so mad at me.

Nadia (Franka Potente): Do you know anyone who owns a chopper?
Shawn: 99.6% of the time the answer to that question is nobody.

Juliet: Okay. Shawn. Gus. Woman in leather. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Strabinsky (Jon Gries): I will snuff you out without even touching you.
Shawn: Harsh. Intimidating. Intriguing how you would actually snuff without touching. But also fair.

Strabinsky: Normally I’d be hot under the collar, but I have to admit I’m a sucker for a couple of familiar faces.

Shawn: I’m a psychic you see. A psychic spy. Maybe the only one. Probably the only one. Definitely the only non-Russian one. Unless you count Men Who Stare At Goats.

Gus: Who were you just talking to?
Shawn: Nadia. She was in the police station.
Gus: Are you kidding me?
Shawn: That’s so risky and so sexy.
She’s really starting to like me.
Gus: She wants to kill you, Shawn.

Shawn: This is our chance to Bourne it up. I’m Matt Damon, you’re Adewale Akinnuoye-Agabaj… non.
Gus: That’s not how you say his name.
Shawn: That’s who you are though.
Gus: Oh no I’m not. I’m not going to be there.
Shawn: It’s too late to recast. The part is yours. Let’s go take down a spy.

Shawn: And you look almost as good upside down as you look rightside up. And that can only be said about you, me and maybe Javier Bardem.
Nadia: No. Not Javier Bardem.
Shawn: No? You don’t think so?
Nadia: Jon Stewart.
Shawn: Jon Stewart. Really? I wouldn’t…