Psych Season 5

Feet Don’t Kill Me Now


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Young Shawn: Hey Gus. What are you doing?
Young Gus: Just playing… board grass.
Young Shawn: Gus, let me see what’s behind your back. {he shows him} Tap shoes? Are you kidding me?
Young Gus: Shawn, I like tap dancing. In fact, I’m pretty good at it. When people pick on me I just pull out that tap board and show them who’s bad.
Young Shawn: Dude. All your permanent teeth are in, okay? You’re playing for keeps now.
Young Gus: You should try it. It’s cool.

Present Day

Lassiter: Spencer, keep your pie hole shut until I assess the crime scene.
Shawn: Nothing shuts my pie hole but pie.

Lassiter: Spencer, stop wasting my time. You know how this works. You want in, you make a case to your father who’s done nothing but say no to you since he was made head on consultants. Thank god. {he walks off}
: I’d be lying if I said I like having to ask my dad for case assignments. And I’d also be be lying if I said Val Kilmer still looks like Val Kilmer.
Gus: I still have hope.
Shawn: Me too.

Gus: Are you saying that I can’t solve a case without you?
Shawn: No, I’m not saying that.
Gus: Because if we’ve learned anything over these years it’s that you really can’t do it without me.
Shawn: First of all, we haven’t learned anything over the years.

Lassiter: What’s wrong?
Gus: I’m not used to getting introduced by my real name.

Shawn: You missing a murder weapon? You can take the knife out of my back.
Gus: How did you find me, Shawn?
Shawn: I installed GPS parental controls on your phone.
Gus: Is that why it keeps beeping.
Shawn: It also tells me if you use your credit card to buy condoms, liquor or glue.

Lassiter: What are you doing here, Spencer? We already interviewed the tehnician.
Shawn: If Gus is allowed to show off his expertise then I’m allowed to show off mine.
Lassiter: Spencer, we don’t have time to watch you make a snowman out of mashed potatoes.

Shawn: Gus, get with the times. It’s 2008.
Gus: It’s 2010.
Shawn: Ha! That would me we’re at war with the machines.

Lassiter: You can’t yell at me. You’re just a consultant.
Henry: Oh yeah? I know what happened to your neighbor’s squirrels.
Lassiter: Carry on.

Juliet: Whoever said work was supposed to be fun?
Shawn: Ron Jeremy for starters.

Juliet: I’m sorry, Shawn, but it’s over.
Shawn: I understand. It was fun while it lasted.
Juliet: No, it wasn’t.
Shawn: We made a great team.
Juliet: No, we didn’t. It was a disaster.

Woody: I’d be honored to saw through your chest and remove your good-natured heart from its cavity.
Shawn: I’m touched.

Shawn: How come you’re allowed to say, “bingo.” and I’m not.
Gus: The same reason you’re not allowed to say, “true dat.”
Shawn: True that.
Gus: Exactly.

Shawn: Watch it and feel it.
Lassiter: I refuse to watch it and I’m sure as hell not going to feel it.

Shawn: I’m calling an audible.

Lassiter: Spencer, am I cuffing Charlotte the Harlot or what?
Shawn: No. Sorry. {to Charlotte} You and I are back on dirty.