Psych Juliet O’Hara

Season 5

2010.07.14    

Romeo and Juliet and Juliet

Present Day

Shawn: Look, I know the whole Ying thing was difficult. For everybody. But at this point it just feels like you’re hiding here at this… giant post office.
Gus: It’s City Hall, Shawn.
Shawn: We have a City Hall?
Juliet: I just need a little time. And I am perfectly content staying off this case.

Chief Karen Vick (Kirsten Nelson): You know, there’s no shame in feeling what you’re feeling. That Yin case is the kind of thing that can shut a person down.
Juliet: Et tu, Chief? I will come back when I am ready.

Feet Don’t Kill Me Now

Present Day

Juliet: Whoever said work was supposed to be fun?
Shawn: Ron Jeremy for starters.

Juliet: I’m sorry, Shawn, but it’s over.
Shawn: I understand. It was fun while it lasted.
Juliet: No, it wasn’t.
Shawn: We made a great team.
Juliet: No, we didn’t. It was a disaster.

Not Even Close… Encounters

1990

 

Present Day

 

Chivalry Is Not Dead… But Someone Is

Lassiter: Okay, let’s start getting witness statements. What do you want: the creepy old ladies or Ken dolls.
Juliet: The Ken dolls.

Juliet: You disturb me. And your theory on this murder disturbs me. And you disturb me.
Lassiter: You said that twice.
Juliet: Yes.

Juliet: We believe someone may have poisoned Mr. Tolkin with strychnine.
Lassiter: Do you remember what his drink order was that night?
Bartender: Normally I wouldn’t, but his caught my attention. It was different. Classy. Cool.
Lassiter: Yes. {writing} Sea breeze.
Bartender: Ah. No. Gabardine Hightail.

Juliet: Let’s go! We have to get up there before it’s too late.
Lassiter: I’m aware of that, O’Hara. What am I supposed to do, shoot my way up the hill? I will!

Shawn and Gus In Drag (Racing)

Paget: Yes, I hired Max. Yes, I called him after he retrieved my car. But he didn’t tell me that he had a change of heart.
Juliet: Well what did he say then?
Paget: He said somebody was after him.
Lassiter: Who?
Paget: He didn’t get a chance to tell me that. From the sound of his voice he was scared.

Juliet: Vegetables in the tail pipe. I don’t know if that’s brilliant or stupid.
Gus: Probably stupid.
Shawn: Well there’s a fine line between the two.

Viagra Falls

Lassiter: You know, I’ve never named my gun. How about Mr. Thunderstick? {Juliet shakes her head}

Henry: These drugs are still just circumstantial.
Chief Vick: Agreed. But this is starting to paint a worrisome picture.
Juliet: I just got a confirmation that Herb withdrew fifty thousand dollars from his savings account three days ago in cash.
Lassiter: Presumably to buy this surplus of nose candy.
Juliet: Evidence points to a drug hit.
Chief Vick: This is bad. This is really bad.

Juliet: Detectives, we know that you’re hurting right now, so if you need anything please don’t hesitate to reach out to us.
Boone: You really mean that?
Juliet: I do.
Boone: You mind picking up my duds? They’ll be ready at five sharp.
Juliet: No. But I’ll pick your teeth up off the floor if you ask me that again. {Boone walks off} What could he possibly need dry cleaned?

Boone: Nice job, detective.
Juliet: Thank you.

Ferry Tale

Present Day

Juliet: Chief, we have to listen to them. Two of our own are on board.
Lassiter: Well, one-and-a-half at best.
Henry: Still not helpful!

Shawn 2.0

Present Day

Shawn: I was wondering if you’d like to be my date to a friend’s wedding on Saturday.
Juliet: Are you asking me out next to a dead person?
Gus: Told you!
Shawn: Yes. But I thought it would be okay since it doesn’t really smell.

Shawn: Heyyy, Jooles.
Juliet: Why are you talking like that?
Gus: Sometimes he over-enunciates when he gets uncomfortable.
Shawn: I do not.

Declan: Are you sure we don’t want to ask her more questions? She was a precise match to my profile.
Lassiter: Your profile can kiss my big round white dumper, Declan. I do not enjoy pointing my gun at innocent women!
Juliet: You don’t?
Lassiter: No. I’m not twenty-nine anymore.

Chief Vick: That was good work, Declan.
Declan: Thank you. Thank you, Chief.
Juliet: Yes, good work, Declan. We never should have doubted you.
Shawn: Gug.

Juliet: If you’re sitting on any other life secrets, now is the time to tell me.
Declan: Okay. I’m really rich.
Juliet: Okay I can deal with that.

One, Maybe Two, Ways Out

Juliet: Okay. Shawn. Gus. Woman in leather. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Extradition II: The Actual Extradition Part

Juliet: I broke up with Declan.
Shawn: Why would you do that? I mean… I just can’t do this right now. Anytime later. We can schedule it.
Juliet: Don’t bother.

Juliet: Can we not do this right now? It’s okay. The way things are, it’s okay. I just really need to sort things out on my own right now.

In Plain Fright

Present Day

Juliet: Eventually Carlton is going to find out about us.
Shawn: I’ve seen his detective skills. That could take years.

Juliet: So you told him about us?
Shawn: What are you kidding? That’d be like posting it on my Facebook page. If I had a Facebook page. Or the desire to share intimate life details with people I avoid on the street.

Shawn: Try to understand, this is going to be like a bomb landing on his sweet head. It means he’s the odd man out again. If I don’t handle this delicately he’s bound to go on another caramel binge.
Juliet: He went on one before?
Shawn: Yes. Hot and cold.

Juliet: I’m going to go get Lassiter. Stay put. {she runs off}
Gus: Are we really going to wait for Lassiter?
Shawn: That would be a first.

Juliet hitting Todd: A hundred and forty-five pounds my ass!
Lassiter: I’ve got the tiny girl with the limp.
Shawn: Nice Lassie.
Lassiter: It’s easy. She doesn’t run very fast.

Dual Spires

Juliet surveying the donuts: Our new station manager is an angel sent from Heaven.

Juliet: Look, I don’t know what you guys have gotten yourself into, but Paula Merral drowned here seven years ago. {Gus looks stunned}
Shawn: What? Did she say hi back?

Shawn: It’s nice to finally have some alone time.
Juliet: It is. But you know we’re not really alone, Shawn.
Father Westley: You were not lying about the pie, Burton. It’s heavenly.
Gus: Right? Now we’re on to Ecclesiastes.
Father Westley: One of my favorites.
Shawn: We couldn’t blow off a priest. I’m pretty sure that’s a sin.
Juliet: Well, it’s not so much Gus and Father Westley. And Carlton…
Lassiter doing a great Agent Cooper: That’s a damn fine cup of cider.
Juliet: It’s the other people.

The Polarizing Express

Officer Bachynsky (Graeme Beddoes): We have no back up, they have heavy artillery.
Juliet: We called for back up, Bachynsky. If we wait lose them, we have nothing to back up. It also means we suck.

Dead Bear Walking

Lassiter: Back off hippies!
Juliet: They’re protestors, Carlton.
Lassiter: Same diff.

Juliet: Where’s the bear, Shawn?
Shawn: What would possibly make you believe I have any idea where this bear is.
Juliet: Oh, well first off, someone called in a tip about a tiny blue car driving an enormous trailer down Mariposa. Secondly, I am dating you and I know when you’re lying. And third, there are like three packets of tartar sauce on your doorstep.

Juliet: Just so you know, if you go to prison Shawn, I will not wait for you.
Shawn: You won’t have to, I’ll escape. We both know that.

Yang 3 in 2D

1990

 

Present Day