Homicide Life on the Street Homicide Seasons

Season 4

1995.10.20    S04

Andre Braugher  Bruce Campbell  Chris Rock  Isabella Hofmann  J. K. Simmons  Jerry Orbach  Jill Hennessy  Jim True  Kristin Rohde  Kyle Secor  Max Perlich  Melissa Leo  Peter Gerety  Reed Diamond  Richard Belzer  Terry Kinney  Yaphet Kotto

Fire (Part 1)

Kellerman: There’s no absolutes in life. Only in vodka.

Autofocus

Kellerman: You know, he shouldn’t leave a department vehicle running like that.
Lewis: Yeah. Could get stolen.
Kellerman: Lieutenant said take the first car in.
Lewis: We shouldn’t.
Kellerman: You’re right.
Lewis: Grand theft auto, baby.
Pembleton: You sons of bitches!

Heartbeat

Megan Russert (Isabella Hofmann): So, Mary’s pregnant?
Bayliss: Oh no. I didn’t say that.
Russert: Frank is your partner and I’m a detective and you’re a bad liar.

Sniper (Part 1)

Munch: If a murder is committed in Baltimore and no homicide detective takes the call, did that homicide actually occur?

For God and Country

Bayliss: If your husband was sentenced to death, why would you kill yourself and then orphan your son?
Pembleton: Well Tim, you’re the primary in this quickly deepening quagmire. I’ll leave that question for you to answer.
Bayliss: Thanks. I hope you get polyps.

Munch: You’re either divorced or you hate who you’re married to.
Det. Lennie Briscoe (Jerry Orbach): Ah, divorced. You too?
Munch: Me three.

Gee: He refused counsel.
Bayliss: Yeah.
Gee: Did he give a reason?
Pembleton: He says he’s not guilty of anything.
Gee: Everyone’s guilty of something. I want a confession.

Pembleton: You can’t treat the Bill of Rights like a roll of Charmin.

Pembleton: Sounds to me like someone’s trying to bully African Americans into a fight.
Col. Alexander Rausch (JK Simmons): There’s a thought.
Pembleton: Hm. Be an interesting fight.

Col. Rausch: You have a cancer, you cut it out. And make no mistake, these people are tumors. They will drag us down with them. And they will kill us. They have no sense of right and wrong. Of good and evil. And I do. You sleep safer at night because of me. And you don’t even know it. […]
Pembleton: This is what’s gonna happen. From this moment on, you belong to me. I’m gonna put you on display. You and I will be on prime time and the front page for months and months and months. And you’re gonna tell everyone exactly what it is you stand for, so that others can see how much they like you. Even if they don’t know it. Yet. And I’m not gonna stop until your execution. You will not make me a martyr, because I’m a Black American. You will be my martyr. For the truth.
Col. Rausch: I guess I do need a lawyer.
Pembleton: Oh yeah.

Claire Kincaid (Jill Hennessy): This is a court order allowing me to take Rausch back to New York.
Pembleton: Where’s the punchline on this?

Col. Rausch: You have no appreciation for what I’ve done? Not even on an intellectual level?
Pembleton to the officers: Clear the hallways. Check IDs.
Col. Rausch: Keeping liberty from becoming a euphemism at liberal cocktail parties takes sacrifice.
Pembleton: I’d also like to request a 4-hour suicide watch.
Col. Rausch: Because let me tell you something, my serious friend, the power of the vote is a romantic anachronism.
Pembleton: No sir. You are.

Lewis: Hey, look. It’s Mr. Sunshine!
Everyone: Frankie!
Pembleton: Oh, no no no. I’m tired of being the only one around here who gives a damn. You’re looking at the new Frank Pembleton. Budding Republican and practicing selfish bastard. Savior of no one but himself. {to the bartender} Shot of Gold Natty Bo. This is the new me.
Russert: Careful, Frank. You know some day you’re going to run for mayor and rue those words.

Kincaid: The doctors check Rausch?
Pembleton: Yeah, he’s fine. And in his cell where he will be staying.
Kincaid: If you win.
Pembleton: No, I’m sure of it. I bribed the judge. I told her Bayliss would have sex with her for a favorable ruling.
Kincaid: You two-timing pig.
Bayliss: Well, she was naked underneath those black robes.

Justice (Part One)

John Munch (Richard Belzer): Finding a dead body in a cemetery is kind of redundant, don’t you think?
Megan Russert (Isabella Hofmann): I don’t like cemeteries.
Munch: Any particular reason?
Russert: I don’t wanna talk about it.

Jake Rodzinski (Bruce Campbell): Wait a second, you guys are homicide. Are you saying he was murdered?
Russert: I’m afraid so.

Rodzinski: Now Russert, she was double-demoted from Captain and what I hear about Munch he’s some kind of ex-hippie or something.
Meldrick Lewis (Clark Johnson): They’re good cops.
Rodzinski: That’s not what I’m saying.
Lewis: Then what are you saying?
Rodzinski: I want to find out who murdered my father and I don’t want this investigation to get hung up, you know? It’s gotta be done right.
Lewis: It’ll be done right.
Rodzinski: Will you make sure of that?
Lewis: Yeah, I’ll make sure of that.

Tim Bayliss (Kyle Secor): Half a sandwich with Kellerman’s name on it.
Lewis: Take it. He won’t be in until Monday. He’s best man at his cousin’s wedding up in Wisconsin.
Frank Pembleton (Andre Braugher): Ah, trust Kellerman to have relatives in the Dairy State.

Pembleton: You wanna know where Rodzinski’s gonna go? Into the ground like everyone else.
Russert: Thus speaks the Catholic.

Munch: I gotta ride around with you all day, you’re gonna make me feel guilty.
Russert: You’re going out of guilt?
Munch: Yes. Guilt is almost as good a motivator as fear.

Paula Schwanke: I’m really sorry to hear about Ed. That means they’re all dead.
Russert: I’m sorry?
Paula Schwanke: Every man I ever slept with. They’re all dead.

Rodzinski: Sleep with one eye open.

Justice (Part Two)

Bayliss: What is wrong with a grilled cheese sandwich?
Pembleton: It’s so… you know. So white boy.
Bayliss: White boy?
Pembleton: American cheese? White bread? You know what I’m saying? It’s a non-statement.

Kellerman: It was a Wisconsin wedding at its finest. I’m still waiting for my plumbing to defrost so I can take a decent leak again.

ME Diane: You ordered a crime scene, gentlemen.
Lewis: Crime scene. More like a dump job to me. No pun intended.

Lewis: Well the good news is I have no problem whatsoever chopping this squirrel off.
Kellerman: What’s the bad news?
Lewis: Kenny Damon. It’s the son of a bitch that killed Jake Rodzinski’s father.
Kellerman: Oh man. The boss is gonna be all over our ass. We better take our time and do this scene right.
Lewis: Most definitely. Okay, Cecil B. DeBrodie. Start videotaping away for posterity.

Kellerman speculating on the murder weapon: Who uses Derringers?
Coroner: River boat gamblers.

Gee reading Lewis’ evaluation: “Readily accepts and responds to supervision.”
Lewis: That’s my green sheet.
Gee: I think I made a mistake. I need an eraser. I think I made a mistake. Do you have a eraser?
Lewis: You don’t need an eraser, Gee.
Gee: I’d like to have one.

Pembleton: It was a grilled cheese. Get a grip.
Bayliss: It wasn’t the sandwich, partner.

Kay Howard (Melissa Leo): Derringers were departmental issue?
Gee: Not exactly.
It was a different time. You did what you had to do and you worried about formalities later. The old timers used to say, I’d rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

Lewis: Names stay red on that board all the time. Why not Damon?

Carol Rodzinski: He did it, didn’t he. He killed that guy.
Lewis: I don’t know. {they leave}
Carol Rodzinski: Sure you do.

Kellerman: You know, Pez, it’s bad enough that you did the murder. But then for you to sit here and give your partner up in a heartbeat? I don’t like you from either end.

Bayliss: Apologies accepted. {Pembleton nods}

Stakeout

Gee: Set up a stakeout. As soon as he walks through the door, take him.

Bayliss about Nettles: He thinks because he didn’t actually kill anybody he should be going up on lesser charges. Which proves, once again, crime makes you stupid.

Bayliss: You remember Adena Watson?
Howard: Oh, sure. Your first case. Never shut.
Bayliss: Yeah. Risley Tucker, the Araber I always suspected of killing her, he’s dead. You know, she’s eleven years old and she’s raped, murdered and mutilated and he dies peacefully in bed. At home.
Howard: Risley Tucker’s dead so you’re thinking about quitting, huh?
Bayliss: I can’t stop thinking about that case. I can’t stop seeing Adena Watson’s face in the rain. The wounds on her body.

Bayliss: You never say please. You never say thank you.
Pembleton: Please don’t be an idiot. Thank you.

Russert: Why is it that people bare their souls to total strangers?

Lewis: Did Bayliss ever mention to you that he was thinking about maybe leaving homicide?
Russert: No.
Lewis: Nah. Hm. Me neither. I guess he only confides in Kay.
Russert: So that’s what’s going on.

Lewis: Why don’t people tell me their life stories on trains? Why didn’t Bayliss open up to me? And Crosetti. I mean, I had no idea that Crosetti was going to kill himself. My own partner and I have no idea that he’s in that kind of pain. Why didn’t he come to me?

Kellerman: You don’t think much of me, do you?
Munch: Actually I have no opinion of you one way or the other. You have yet to appear on my radar screen.

George Buxton (Jim True): What happened to the black guy and the woman with wild hair?

Kellerman: New Orleans is great.
Munch: Yeah, if you like drunks, dirty politics, hurricanes and Zydeco.

Buxton: What’s it like, being divorced?
Munch: It’s sort of like New Orleans.

Munch: I don’t like to get attached to people. They have a tendency to get suspended or throw china at me.

Gee: Has Stan called you since he’s been suspended?
Munch: I’m sure he has his reasons.
Gee: Stan always has his reasons. Sometimes I’d like to know what they are.

Gee: Your smoking is driving me crazy.
Pembleton: Really.
Gee: You know that.

Gee: You’ve been yelling a lot lately. At the drop of a hat you start yelling.
Pembleton: Why would I yell at someone about his hat.

Gee: Sometimes being a parent, it is a pain in the ass. It is a pain in the heart!

Pembleton: The Browns belong in Cleveland. The Colts belong in Baltimore. Football teams should stay in the towns they’re from.

Pembleton: The job does suck the life out of you.
Bayliss: Yeah, that’s not the only thing.

Bayliss: Those other guys are like a family. I have never ever felt that in Homicide. We are the best, the elite. But we are not a family.
Pembleton: Yes we are. But we’re like a real family. Opinionated… argumentative. Holding grudges. Challenging each other. We challenge each other to be better than we are. That kind of thing doesn’t happen at barbecues… ball games. It happens at the job where it’s supposed to. On a case. Putting down a murder. The work itself is the most important thing. What we do is important. We speak for those who can no longer speak for themselves. And you’re not gonna ever find anything like that anywhere. Not in Vice and not patrolling the grounds at Disneyland.

Pembleton: So. You gonna leave?
Bayliss: No. Not until I close the Lambert case.

Requiem for Adena

Pembleton: I don’t remember being a child.
Bayliss: Of course not, Frank. ‘Cause when you were born you were already thirty-five years old.

Bayliss: She’s got the face of an angel. She looks just like her. Just like Adena Watson.

Howard: I’ll go with you.
Kellerman: Why?
Howard: You’re still a new guy, Mikey. Don’t want you talking the shooter out of his confession. Brodie, you come too. If the guy’s making a statement of guilt ‘least we can do is get it on videotape.

Pembleton: Mrs. Prager, you’ve lived in this neighborhood a long time. Can you think of anybody that would do something like this?
Mrs. Prager: Yes I can. Too many.

Bayliss: Two young girls. Same ages, same race. Serrated edge knife. Now we never found the weapon in the Adena Watson case. There’s a connection here, Gee. I can feel it.
Gee: So why are you sitting at your desk?
Bayliss: Right.
Gee: Go with your gut, Bayliss. But use your head.

Gee: If you hear from Pembleton let me know. I’d at least like to pretend to my bosses I still have control of my squad.

Bayliss: Frank you get her in The Box and you find out what she knows.
Pembleton: I only have one question to ask her: What were you doing running out of the alley. She says, I don’t know what you’re talking about. She’s right. I don’t know what I’m talking about.
Bayliss: So you ask your question, Frank. So what?
Pembleton: Look, you bring someone in The Box with no ammunition, it just toughens them up. You get nothing, they walk away confident and if they do know anything it makes it that much harder to get it out of them the second time around,
Bayliss: You think this is the mistake we made with the Araber, right?
Pembleton: Maybe.

Bayliss: You know, something? I keep seeing her face. Everywhere. Adena Watson. You want to hear something terrible? I think I’m starting to hate her.

Munch: Anything I can do to help?
Pembleton: Yeah how about a little luck?
Munch: I’ll get back to you on that.

Gee: I want evidence. I want a signed confession. I want to get rid of this [?].

Munch about Carver Dooley: The guy is the dimmest bulb I’ve ever seen. I’m beginning to think he didn’t do it.

Carver Dooley (Chris Rock): Why are you yelling at me!
Pembleton: What’s the matter, Carver, don’t you like to be yelled at?

Pembleton: I have my share of open cases.
Bayliss: It was my first case. He beat me. The killer beat me. The Araber, Dooley, or whoever he is, he beat me. I hadn’t even started being a homicide detective yet, and I had lost. Don’t you see, Frank? I let myself care about that case and for what? I put everything that I had into that and it wasn’t enough.

Bayliss: This has nothing to do with me! This is about, it’s about Adena. It’s about, it’s about avenging Adena’s death.
Pembleton: No. It’s all about you. It’s always been all about you. Do you think I don’t know you?

Gee: Everybody’s got something that keeps them awake at night. When you can’t tell the difference between nightmares and what’s real, that’s when you’re no good to yourself or anyone else.
Pembleton: I didn’t avenge Adena Watson’s death. Now I never will. I let her down, Gee. I’ll never know who killed her.
Gee: You’re going to have to make your peace with that.

Full Moon

Lewis: Most people in here probably got rap sheets.
Kellerman: I’d say eighty percent.
Lewis: I’d say ninety.
Kellerman: Yeah? You’re on. Twenty bucks.
Lewis: You got it.

Kellerman: Basically he was trying to resign from the United States.
Lewis: You can do that?
Kellerman: You can try.

Lewis: Why steal one boot?

Lewis: I don’t know. Full moon over the New Moon Motel. Gotta mean something. That’s why you gotta catch the break, you know? Get the luck that you deserve served up to you on a big ol’ silver platter.

Lewis: These people ain’t got nothing to do with that murder.
Kellerman: Yeah. So?
Lewis: So why’d you make them wait in here?
Kellerman: Because they’re illegal.
Lewis: Last time I checked your badge didn’t say INS on it.

Kellerman: You know, you remind me of someone.
Ramona Rostenkowski: I always remind men of someone.

Lonny Askew: Why do you think I stay here in this little room, Detective? It reminds me of my cell. The judge gave me ten years punishment. It wasn’t enough. I killed my best friend.

Lewis: New Moon Motel don’t look no better in the sunlight.

Lewis: Imagine that. Closed case we didn’t mean to close.

Lewis: I guess you didn’t happen to find a stray boot around here, did you?
Jennifer Wells: One thing I do remember about the man is that he liked to go around wearing just one boot. The man used to say, “Not every shoe has a mate.” He was weird. Even back then.

Map of the Heart

Howard: You saying I don’t know how to throw a punch?
Kellerman: No, I’m saying I can show you how to throw it better.

Pembleton: You’ve been victimized by the lunch bandit.
Kellerman: The Lunch Bandit?
Bayliss: Yeah, this started happening what? Two years ago.
Pembleton: Yeah, it’s still an open case.
Bayliss: Yeah, I’ve always suspected Lewis because he’s always got things in his mouth.

Bayliss: What makes you think he was murdered?
Richard Laumer (Terry Kinney): I told him I would kill him.

Laumer: I believe that Edward Clifford was my biological father. And now that he’s dead I need to know the truth.

Gee: You eat very well, Kellerman. Almost too well. I’m suspicious of any detective who eats so well.
Kellerman: I find it impossible to believe that in a squadroom full of the very best detectives in the city nobody’s nailed this guy.
Gee: I put you in charge. You find out whoever the culprit is and I’ll hold a public execution in front of [?].
Kellerman: I’m gonna rip his heart out.
Gee: Start thinking like the bandit.

Pembleton to the NSA agent: Don’t touch that door. That’s my door. {she shuts the door} Now you’re pissing me off. You and I, we’re never gonna be friends.

Bayliss: If something does happen to me, I want you to go right after their asses.
Pembleton: Is this before or after I buy the house in St. [?]?

Laumer: So if it’s determined that Edward Clifford was murdered I’m your only suspect.
Pembleton: Yep.
Laumer: Do you have to take me in now?
Pembleton: We should but frankly I feel nauseated by this friend of yours from the agency.
Laumer: This woman I’m telling you is no friend. I’ve never heard of her.

Bayliss: The Cold War is over. The world has changed.
Laumer: Oh yeah? Is that right? What, did a little birdie come up and tell you that? The War ain’t over. It’s only half-time.

Gee: You know I asked Russert to make a few calls down to DC for me, and an hour later Buster Simmons walks in and wants to make a confession.
Pembleton: A little too convenient, Gee.
Gee: Come on, Frank. It’s a new age. The world’s becoming a perfect place.

Brodie: I have no idea what you’re talking about. Because what you’re not talking about is a VCR which doesn’t exist. So you’re not here and having this conversation with me, right? We’re not having a conversation about a VCR, right?
Munch: You wanna hear something frightening, Brodie? You and I, we’re starting to understand each other.

Work Related

Sgt. Sally Rogers (Kristin Rohde): Meet the late Mr. Douglas Wrobel. And the equally late Mrs. Mary Rose Tabori.
Both dead from gunshot wounds to the chest.
Pembleton: Anybody else?
Rogers: The manager, in the back.
Pembleton: He got shot in the back?
Rogers: No, he’s sitting in the back.
Pembleton: Is it me or is everyone talking in code today?
Bayliss: No no. It’s you.

Lewis: Looks like we got us a potential red ball here.
Kellerman: Looks more like a gutter ball.

Lewis: Hey Frank. How’s the new kid?
Pembleton: Great great. How’s the new wife?
Lewis: Great.
Pembleton: Great.

Russert: What’s to prevent them from pointing the cameras away from the streets and into your bedroom window?
Brodie: You mean some city employee’s gonna know what I’m doing at night.
Gee: [?] Big Brother is watching.
Brodie: That does it. I gotta get some curtains.

Gee: Go home and enjoy that precious baby girl of yours. That’s a direct order, Frank.
Bayliss: Can I come?
Pembleton: Come where?
Bayliss: To see the baby.
Pembleton: You’ve seen the baby already.
Bayliss: I know, but I love babies.
Pembleton: Then have one of your own.

Kellerman: Come on, Meldrick. Stay on the boat tonight.
Lewis: I love you, man. But I’m not in love with you.
Kellerman: Seriously. You don’t want to be alone.
Lewis: I got no problem being alone, Kellerman. I’ve been alone most of my life.

EMS: He’s having a CVA.
Bayliss: What the hell is a CVA?!
EMS: Stroke.

Bayliss: Frank! Frank?
EMS #2: He can’t hear you now, he’s in a coma.

Bayliss: Frank always had a little too much pressure in his head. It exploded. His head. It exploded.

Bayliss: I am good murder police, aren’t I, Gee.
Gee: Yes. Of course.
Bayliss: I’ve been standing here, thinking about Frank, thinking about everything I’ve learned from him in the last four years.
Gee: His technique in The Box?
Bayliss: Ah. No, it’s more than that. You know when I find a suspect I like to get in their brain, find out why they would wanna take another person’s life. Why. Now Frank. Well, Frank, he just sees a dead body. It doesn’t matter to him who they were, what they did. He strips away their personalities, he makes them all equal in death because if they have been murdered they must be avenged. Forward without hesitation, without any kind of moral dilemma. His mind’s so clear on that Gee. His mind… You know I think I’ve finally started to understand how his mind works. I just don’t know if I’m gonna be as good of a detective as I am without him.

Russert: Do you know where Elwah is now?
Ian McKenzie: Sure. Do you want me to write down the address where he’s hiding?
Munch: That would be nice.

Lewis drops the red bowling ball off of the bridge into the water
Kellerman: You know. That ball was evidence. I’m going to have to go fish it out.
Lewis: Have fun. I’m gonna go find my wife.

Mary Pembleton (Ami Babson): Don’t hedge, Doctor. I need to know the truth. Will Frank recover.
Dr. Eli Devilbiss (Sean Whitesell): The truth is, I don’t know. I honestly don’t know.