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Season 2


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Summer, Kind of Wonderful

The story continues…

Nate: I’ve been waiting for this all day.
Catherine: Are you sure Serena’s still okay covering for you? She was totally cold.
Nate: Oh, she’s totally fine.
Catherine: But you haven’t told her anything?
Nate: She knows that I’m seeing someone that I’m not ready to introduce just yet. She slams him back. Or ever. Look, she needed time to decompress from her breakup. Covering for me works for her too.

Jeremiah Harris: I read from your favorite chapter. Or did you not notice?
Dan: I’ve read that chapter so many time sometimes I think I wrote it myself.
Harris: Speaking of, where’s that story of yours? You know, the one your internship requires you turn in.
Dan: Yeah, it’s, uh, imminent.
Harris: So is death. Be more specific.
Dan: I’m just doing a polish. It’s basically done.
Harris: You know Shapiro at The Review is looking forward to it.
Dan: And calling him was an amazing thing to do, really.
Harris: I told him it would be even better than your piece in The New Yorker. Don’t let me down.

Jenny: I was hoping I could show you something I’ve been working on.
Laurel: This isn’t school. I don’t look at your work.

Laurel: Put that away. Eggshell gives me a migraine.

Dan: Working for you is very important for me.
Harris: And yet your actions have illustrated only the opposite.

Eric: “How well do you know Blair Waldorf?” is kind of boring for those of us that know Blair Waldorf.
Celia: Not to mention transparent.
Chuck: Well thank you, Grandma.
Celia: Why is it when you say that word it sounds like an insult.

James: It’s no wonder you hate Charade. It hits too close to home.
Blair: You don’t understand. Chuck. Is an awful person. He does terrible things. He uses people.
James: And you think you’re any different.

James: I bet you don’t even like me.
Blair: No. Well, you’re a little boring.
James: Am I? Or are you just too interested in yourself to get to know me? You two deserve each other.

James: I haven’t been honest with you.
Blair: Okay, spill it.
James: I don’t go to Princeton or Georgetown or any school whatsoever. I’m afraid I slipped up on that detail. My name is actually Marcus Beeton. I’m British. And a Lord.

Never Been Marcused

Blair: Since you don’t go to Princeton or Georgetown I assume you’re not headed back to college. So where are you headed? Are you staying here?
Marcus: Well would it be too forward of me to say I’ll go wherever you go.
Blair: I’d be honored, m’lord.
Marcus: Blair, you don’t have to call me that.
Blair: I know. I was up all night reading Debrett’s Peerage. I’m well-versed in your laws and ways. I’m ready to meet the Queen. Which I also watched on DVD, BTW.

Mrs. Archibald: I haven’t wanted to tell you this, but you’re going to find out soon enough.
Nate: Find out what?
Ann Archibald: The federal prosecutor has taken your father’s leaving town as an admission of guilt. They want us to forfeit our assets. Restitution.
Nate: They want to take our money?
Ann Archibald: Not yet. But they have frozen our accounts.

Rufus: I’d forgotten what it was like to be on the road performing for a live audience night after night.
Vanessa: And now that you’re home…
Rufus: I’m grateful. For the memory.

Nate about the investigation: We’ll deal with it.
Investigator: Maybe you will. But after spending so much time in your mom’s closet I feel like I know the lady. I don’t think she’ll adjust so well.

Blair: I just love Mozart!
Marcus: That wasn’t Mozart.

Chuck: I thought you might like to meet my friend.
Blair: Why? So she could warn me about the effects of too much botox?
Catherine: Blair, is it? I’m Duchess Beeton.

The Dark Night

Marcus: I thought you wanted my help with this party you’re hosting.
Blair: A back-to-school party for seniors and my parents. It can wait.
Marcus: But someone could walk in. Dorota.
Blair: So? Did you see Atonement? That scene in the library when they’re discovered.
Marcus: Blair, that’s not you.
Blair: It’s not.
Marcus: You’re a delicate little flower. Nothing like that trollop Keira Knightley.

Jenny: He only did that to spare you his family drama. Which is even more proof he likes you.
Vanessa: And calling won’t look desperate?
Jenny: It might? It will. It will. But in a cute romantic way.

Catherine: What happened to the money I gave you?
Nate: It’s gone. But I can pay you back as soon as our accounts are unfrozen.
Catherine: Which won’t be until your father gets back from… where was it again? Dominica?
Nate: I told you that in confidence.
Catherine: You told me that in bed.

Laurel: Jenny?
Jenny: Yeah, I know. I’ll clean the atelier as soon as I’m finished here, okay?
Laurel: The bathrooms too. Someone decided to give us a second look at breakfast.

Laurel: Remember the little birds that helped her dress? Remember how they didn’t offer their opinion? Try to imagine that you’re one of those birds. Can you do that?
Jenny: Yeah.
Laurel: Good. Now fly away.

Eleanor: So now interns have opinions. I have been gone awhile.

Nate: So you used my friends for some power play to prove you’re the one in control.
Catherine: I don’t like sharing my toys, especially if I paid for them.

Jenny: It looks like a pilgrim at a funeral. I’m sorry.
Eleanor: You’re absolutely right.
Jenny: I am?
Eleanor: Yep. Don’t let it go to your head.

Eleanor: I spent the last month going around and meeting with the stores and boutiques that carry my clothes.
Jenny: That must have been so exciting.
Eleanor: I felt like a fat cheerleader.

Marcus: Did you really not know it was him? Can you honestly tell me that?
Blair: No I knew it was him.
Marcus: Thank you.
Blair: But I want you.
Marcus: No, Blair. You want my title.

Jenny: The lights are on. Aren’t I fired?
Rufus: You got fired?
Eleanor: Oh, don’t be so dramatic.

The Ex-Files

Blair: Every year the projects pile shrinks while the victims pile—
Penelope: I believe in the voucher system.
Iz: It’s like the government doesn’t even care.

Vanessa: How can I use this to get Nate off the hook? I mean, what do I do?
Dan: Well you’re not going to like it. Blair.
Vanessa: Blair? I can’t trust Blair.
Dan: Well maybe not. But Google “revenge” and get blairwaldorf.com.

Vanessa: I’m trusting you Blair.
Blair: Like you have a choice.

Amanda: Getting my hair burned off was not a part of the deal.
Chuck: Casualties of war.
Amanda: I don’t get it. You wanted me to pretend to like this guy so he could make his ex-girlfriend jealous.
Chuck: Jealousy is a powerful emotion. I had to create a monster if I was going to dethrone a queen.

The Serena Also Rises

Jeremiah Harris: You sent me five stories. All about a sheltered young man with girl trouble who lives with his daddy in Brooklyn. You think that’s going to knock the Yale English department off their tenured asses?
Dan: I just, I thought a writer was supposed to write what he knows. This is what I know.
Jeremiah Harris: Then learn something new. Get out of your comfort zone. A cardinal rule of writing: if your work’s too safe then do something dangerous.
Dan: I wouldn’t know where to begin.
Jeremiah Harris: Then find someone who does know. When I was young Bukowski put a shot glass on my hand, blew it off with a pistol. Find your Bukowski. Then get back to me.

New Haven Can Wait

Dan: With its world class English department, Yale would be the ideal place for me to grow, to flourish, and, uh, thrive.
Dean: Kudos to you and your inner thesaurus, Mr. Humphrey.

Skull and Bones: Chuck Bass. Heir to Bass Industries. Champion of the legendary Lost Weekend. Rumor has it you’ve slept with more MAXIM covers than John Mayer.
Chuck: And better I might add.

Eleanor: I didn’t realize it was Bring Your Father to Work Day.
Rufus: Yes, well it was Jenny’s idea to show me why this was so important to her.

Eleanor: Do you remember the dreams you had when you were 15, Mr. Humphrey? What if they all started to come true? would you have told them to wait?

Angela: Let’s just talk Cholera.
Nate: Um… very painful. she laughs. No, I’m not kidding. I tried to read it and I couldn’t get through it. It’s ridiculous.

Skull and Bones: You’ve got one hour. You want in. You bring us Nate Archibald.

Chuck in Real Life

Penelope: Kelsey Kelsey Kelsey. How many times must we tell you. As one of the girls at the steps you represent Constance royalty.
Iz: So it should come as no surprise that many girls before you have gotten the axe when their choices reflected poorly on us.
Kelsey: I didn’t realize.
Blair: That tights are not pants?!?! Honestly!
Vanessa: Blair, you got a minute?
Blair: Sixty seconds, clock it. What are you doing here with those? Shouldn’t you be at Whole Foods?

Horace: This our guy?
Vanessa: Horace Rogers, meet Chuck Bass.
Horace: Man! Come here. hugs him. Look at that outfit. Didn’t know it could be worse than the one this morning. Kidding. I know [ ] when I see it. Joe Kennedy taught me.
Chuck: You knew Joe Kennedy?
Horace: Used to come in here all the time. Had a girl up the street. I was nine years old. Sellin’ papers out front. Rumor has it he kept this place in booze during Prohibition. So you like Ol’ Joe?
Chuck: Rum runner. Womanizer. Millionaire. He was my kinda guy.
Horace: They all used to come here here back in the day. Gangsters. Fighters. Musicians. Dangerous folks, no doubt. They had style. Something tells me you’d fit right in.
Chuck: That’s possibly the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.

Lily: You killed the story, didn’t you?
Bart: I already put out the hit.

Prêt-à-Poor J

Gossip Girl: Every girl fantasizes about finding her Prince Charming. But if that Prince refuses to come…
Dorota: You are late. Time for breakfast.
Blair: I’ll be down in a minute. I just have to finish something.
A girl has to take matters into her own hands.
Dorota: Don’t forget: God always watching, Miss Blair.

Agnes: I’m Agnes, by the way. I think we’ve worked together because I kind of recognize the top of your head.
Jenny: Jenny. And yeah, ’cause I think I recognize your feet.

Aaron: Wow. You haven’t even said your name and you’re already humiliating me.

Serena: Wow. This looks complicated.
Aaron: Don’t worry. You walk into a surgery halfway through it looks like murder.
Serena: Can I help?
Aaron: You know how to weld?
Serena: Um, I’ve seen Flashdance several times.

Eleanor: I should have known better than to give so much responsibility to a child.
Jenny: A child? I’m sorry, but this child seems to be the only one who can design anything that the buyers are remotely interested in.

Jenny: Can I at least have my dress back?
Eleanor: Sure. It’s of no use to me anyway. Here. hands Jenny the newest dress
Jenny: I don’t mean this one.
Eleanor about the runway piece: You touch this dress you will never set foot in here again.

Aaron: If you can tell me the fate of Cecil the Caterpillar I will go out with you.
Serena: Okay, I don’t really date crazy people who speak in riddles.

There Might Be Blood

Aaron: Hello.
Serena: Hey. Um, what are you doing here?
Aaron: I just had a meeting with a collector. So did you figure out—
Serena: Cecil the Caterpillar. Camp Suisse. We got married and exchanged licorice rings.
Aaron: And you ate your five minutes after the ceremony. When did you finally remember?
Serena: Um, about the time you were speeding away with a girl on the back of your motorcycle.
Aaron: Audra. Yeah, she’s a friend. No, I recognized you the moment you walked into the gallery.
Serena: No, you didn’t. But that’s okay.
Aaron: Some faces you don’t forget.

Emma: Is my mom gone?
Blair: Yes. So what kind of movies do you like? Something where the animals sing, or— Oh sweet heaven.
Emma: So. Muffy McDonough’s been bragging about how she’s going to lose her virginity because she finally landed a date with the lacrosse captain. They call him the De-Virginator.
Blair: Oh my god. Stop your mouth from moving.
Emma: But now that I have the night away from mom and dad, we’ll see who’s first. I’m saying TTFN to my you-know-what.
Blair: Or, maybe we’ll see how your mom feels about your little clearance sale, Lohan.

Chuck: Well. What do we have here? Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Chuck.
Emma: Bass. Oh my god. I read about you on Gossip Girl. You’re like the Devil.
Chuck: Finally. Some truth in advertising. Headed out, are we?
Emma: Serena, Blair and I are going to the Gala. Hope you’re coming.
Chuck: Well I’m all for company on a Saturday night but the only thing I like that aged is my Scotch.

Agnes: Why do you keep eating those pot brownies, man? You know that sugar makes you spazz.

Blair: You still don’t get it. Having sex for the first time shouldn’t be part of a competition to beat Muffy the Lacrosstitute. It should be with someone you love.
Emma: Was your first time with someone you love?
Blair: Yes. It was. And honestly? There are better ways of getting your mother’s attention.
Emma: I told you, this is about Muffy.
Blair: Please. I wrote the book on distracted, self-centered mothers. My mom has never met a single one of my teachers. She regularly forgets my birthday. And she only comments on my appearance when she has something to criticize.
Emma: But you’re perfect.
Blair: True. But that’s why I finally realized it wasn’t about me. The same way it’s not about you.

Blair: Mrs. Boardman, before you say anything you’ll regret—
Elizabeth: What was your plan? Take my daughter clubbing and hope she’d plead your case to the Dean? I have some bad news for you, Miss Waldorf. From what I’ve seen, you’re not Yale material.
Blair: Oh you haven’t seen anything yet. Tell me, did you have a nice time with your Bryn Mawr friends?
Elizabeth: What is that supposed to mean?
Blair: Here. Let me lend you my phone. You’ll be needing it to make a call to New Haven.
Emma: Mom, this isn’t Blair’s fault—
Elizabeth: I told you to go to bed!
Emma: Blair was only trying to help me.
Elizabeth: You’re lecturing me? No wonder I don’t want to spend time with you. Bed! Right now! You were saying?
Blair: Just. Your daughter’s a great girl. You should pay more attention to her. Soon it’ll be too late.

Aaron: You didn’t eat that ring, did you?
Serena: No, not yet.
Aaron: Good. It’s nine years old.
Serena: Wait. You kept yours?
Aaron: I’ll see you tonight.

Bonfire of the Vanity

Blair: Dorota are you insane?!
Dorota: I don’t know.

Aaron: I’ve shown you the most beautiful places I know. Now I’m showing the most beautiful places you.

Serena: Tell me when you’re ready. I’ve been practicing my poses.
Aaron: Okay Zoolander.

Dorota: You have glow Miss Eleanor. Like Chinese lantern.
Eleanor: Well. It’s love, Dorota.
Blair: How can you possibly love Cyrus? He does all the things you hate. He uses the wrong fork. He slurps his soup, he wears sports socks. He’s short and pushy. He’s nothing like Daddy.
Eleanor: Which is precisely why I like him. Harold was lovely in a million ways but he had his secrets. Cyrus is someone I can trust.

Jenny: Wait, what are you doing with my dresses?
Agnes: You know when I let you in I had no idea you’d be such a little thief. Stealing my contact list and our whole business—
Jenny: I wasn’t stealing, Agnes.
Agnes: You know you think you’re so talented and unique, don’t you?
Jenny: No. I don’t.
Agnes: You know three weeks ago you were absolutely nothing. You were a little intern, pinning my hem.

Cyrus: Ah. The Mythical Serena.
Serena: Oh. You must be Cyrus, Eleanor’s boyfriend. How did you know who I was?
Cyrus: Well I recognized you from Aaron’s studio.
Serena: You know Aaron?
Cyrus: He’s my son.
Serena: Oh my goodness.
Cyrus: You didn’t catch the family resemblance? Oh, it’s okay.

Eleanor: Did you cheat on your ex-wife?
Cyrus: Eleanor—
Eleanor: Well, did you? Is it true?
Cyrus: Yes. it is.
Eleanor: Get out.

Blair: You threw in the towel rather easily. I expected a harder fight.
Cyrus: I’m smart enough to know that getting into a war with Eleanor’s daughter is never going to result in a victory.
Blair: So you retreated with dignity.
Cyrus: Who says I gave up?
Blair: Oh my god. You outmaneuvered me! You deliberately let me win counting on the fact that Cyndi Lauper would prey on my emotions.
Cyrus: I’m a lawyer. I do think a few moves ahead. Some of us can’t rely entirely on our looks, you know.
Blair: Well done.
Cyrus: Not enough.
Blair: Fine! You’re a genius. You better be good to my mother or I’ll be coming for you.
Cyrus: Those are fair terms.
Blair: Now. Come upstairs and
stand next to me while I tell my mom the whole truth about the golden lion. She’ll be furious with me so I may need an attorney.

Aaron: I don’t know how it works in high school, but I like to date more than one person at once. You’re free to date other people too.
Serena: Well thank you for the condescending lecture but that’s not really my thing.

Bart: I want to apologize, son.
Chuck: Apologize.
Bart: I never blamed you for your mother’s death. I read that short story that Dan Humphrey wrote about you and your mother. I had no idea you felt that way.
It’s my fault. I know I’ve had trouble being close to you. But it’s not for the reasons you think. It’s just hard because— every time I look at you I see her.
Chuck: You miss her.
Bart: You have no idea. I’ve made terrible mistakes in my life but I don’t want to make another. I want to know my son. So any interest in going to that hockey game?
Chuck: I’ll, ah, clear my calendar.

The Magnificent Archibalds

Lawyer: I need to be sure you understand what “emancipation” means.
Jenny: I do. I’ve been researching it.
Eric: She’s made me watch Irreconcilable Differences like 15 times.
Lawyer: Once you file the state opens up an investigation into your family. There has to be proof of parental neglect. Just fill out these papers authorizing the investigation. Once you sign them your parents will be notified.
Jenny: Wait, they have to be notified?
Lawyer: Well of course. They need to know you no longer want to be their child.

Vanessa: My plan is to hole myself up in my studio, rent Berlin Alexanderplatz, and eat a frozen and organic turkey dinner.
Dan: Oh! Well god, you know no one enjoys a 16-hour German movie more than yours truly, but uh, you could come here instead.
Vanessa: I don’t really feel like seeing Jenny.
Dan: Well I’m pretty sure she’s not coming so you can take her chair.
Vanessa: I didn’t realize things were still that bad between her and your dad. Where is she having Thanksgiving? With Nate?
Dan: No, Nate and Jenny aren’t spending time together anymore. So how ’bout it? A Fassbinder- and freezer-free Thanksgiving at my place?
Vanessa: Well, when you put it that way.

Nate: It was nice of the Roths to let us stay at their place while they’re in Aspen.
Anne Archibald: Very. I’m not sure what we would have done. We don’t have a lot of options left, Nate.
Nate: Yeah. I kind of noticed.
Anne: But I’m hoping that’s about to change.
Captain: Hey son, I missed you so much.

Captain: My life in Dominica is… well it’s good. We moved some money offshore before I left—enough to get a house on the ocean. Weather’s always perfect, people are nice.
Nate: I’m so happy you’re living it up in the Caribbean while we’re squatting with no heat in New York.
Anne: Just hear him out, Nate.
Captain: I want to make things better. I know how hard your life has been because of what I did. I can’t turn back the clock. But I can ask you to come live with me. All the money in the world isn’t worth it without the two of you to share it with.
Nate: Mom, did you know about this?
Anne: Yes. And I’d like to go. But only if you want to come too.
Captain: Please, Nate! We can be a family again. All you have to do is say yes.

Bart: So how are things while we were away?
Eric: Um. Not so good. I don’t think it’s working out with Jonathan.
Bart: Huh. What do you know about someone at your school named Ben Shern?
Eric: He’s the uh, captain of Jonathan’s swim team. Why?
Bart: Just, maybe you want to ask Jonathan what he was doing Monday night.

Blair: Mother, is there anything you want to tell me?
Eleanor: Why, yes, actually there is! And I will tell you tonight, at the restaurant, once everyone is assembled for dinner.
Blair: Of all the things you’ve done, Mother, this one is the worst. I’m your daughter. Lumping me in with everyone else to hear the news?
Eleanor: I don’t know what “news” you are referring to, Blair. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go check the reservations for dinner. She walks off
Blair: Dorota! Get it together. We’re leaving. If I’m just like anyone else to her I doubt she’ll notice I’m not at dinner.
Dorota: But it’s your favorite holiday.
Blair: Not anymore.

Nate: Look, you and Chuck and Dan… I’ve somehow managed to alienate everyone. If you could just give Rufus his CDs I’d appreciate that.
Vanessa: Of course.
Nate: Uh, Vanessa, listen, uh, take care of yourself. Alright?

Serena: Oh my god! You’re here!
Aaron: Hey.
Serena: Hey. That was so not on the same level as my “hi”.
Aaron: Uh… I bumped into Dan at the store. He just said something, I’m trying to figure it out.
Serena: Figure what out?
Aaron: Something about a girl named Georgina?
Serena: What? What’s, um, he even talking about? That’s… gosh. Um. Well you know he’s… he’s probably just jealous.
Aaron: Yeah, I mean he was talking about Thanksgiving a lot last year when you two were together, so.
Serena: Well. I guess he’s just not as over me as I thought he was. But seriously. Aaron, the next time he starts to tell you stories about me—
Aaron: No no, It’s never going to happen again.

Chuck: I knew you’d come back for more.
Vanessa: Chuck, you know how hard this call was for me to make.
Chuck: I’m listening.
Vanessa: The FBI just came to see me and Nate’s in trouble.
Chuck: Tell someone who cares.
Vanessa: Chuck, this is serious. He needs our help.

Dan: Aaron, hey.
Aaron: Well if it isn’t the last person I wanted to see.
Dan: Sorry?
Aaron: Why’d you lie about Serena?

Nate: You know, when you called I thought it was an emergency. Obviously I was wrong.
Vanessa: It’s more like an intervention.
Chuck: There’s someone you need to talk to.
Vanessa: The FBI knows that your dad’s in town. And they think he’s about to commit a crime even worse than fraud or embezzlement.
Nate: Like what?
Chuck: Like extortion. Kidnapping.

Bart: Dan and his father just left to look for Jenny so maybe now would be the perfect time to tell me what the hell’s been going on here today, Lily.
Lily: You first.
Bart: Where did you get those?
Lily: It doesn’t matter. Did you read these?
Serena and Eric: Only mine.
Bart: None of you were supposed to—
Lily: Find them. I can’t believe this. You did this to me and I dealt with it. But the kids—my kids—
Serena: Mom, you knew about this?
Lily: We’ll talk about that later.
Bart: I’m just trying to protect them. If you’re going to let your son and daughter go where they please and do as they please someone has to look out for them.
Lily: There’s a a difference between looking out for them and treating them like criminals in their own home. How do expect them to trust us if we don’t trust them? Okay kids, let’s go.
Bart: Where are you going?
Lily: Well this day is about family. And if you’re not for my family then I’m going to take mine and spend it with them.

Nate: Dad, listen. I love you. But if you can’t do the right thing then I can’t respect you. So the choice is yours. You go out that service entrance and you ruin our relationship forever. Or you be a man and you turn yourself in when they get here.
Captain: Well that’s not a choice.
Nate: It is a choice. Because I’m sick of living in the mess you created for us. And I’m not going to do it anymore. And I hope you won’t either.

Eleanor: Jenny. You look cold. Here. to Blair Come on dear, you’ve made your point.
Blair: I don’t think I have.
Eleanor: Well I think that you might feel differently when you find out what I have been waiting to show you.
Blair: I’ll come. On one condition. Jenny has to go home too.
Eleanor: I think that’s a terrific idea. Everyone should be where they belong on Thanksgiving. With their family. So c’mon. C’mon c’mon c’mon. We’ll drop you off.

Vanessa: Hey. We were hoping you’d be here.
Nate: My mom’s inside signing papers in the dark. We’ve got our house back, now all we need is some electricity. I can’t thank you guys enough.
Chuck: I’m gonna leave you guys alone.
Vanessa: I didn’t… want you to go. And I didn’t like to admit it, but I still—
Nate: Still?
Vanessa: It’s not important There’s the whole thing with Jenny and I don’t want to get in the way of that.
Nate: Vanessa, I haven’t heard from Jenny in weeks so, uh, if you’d like, can we get together sometime?
Vanessa: I guess that’d be okay. Call me.
Nate: I will. Vanessa walks off (and squeezes Chuck’s arm in thanks)
Chuck: By the way, I’m glad you stayed too.
Nate: Thanks man.
Chuck: Now let’s, uh, let’s get drunk in style.

Aaron: I don’t need to read that.
Serena: No, I think you do.
Aaron: Anything you want to tell me, you can tell me yourself. I want to know you. No matter what you’ve done or how long ago.

It’s a Wonderful Lie

Penelope: Oh. Hello Weird Documentary Girl.
Vanessa: Bye Sad Blair Wannabe.

Jenny: How could you? Really Vanessa? Lying and seeing Nate behind my back?
Vanessa: I’m… so sorry. I’ve been meaning to tell you I just wasn’t sure how.
Jenny: You knew this entire time why Nate wasn’t calling and it was because he was with you.
Vanessa: I understand that you’re upset. But if I remember correctly you kissed Nate behind my back first.
Jenny: And I felt so horrible about it that I ran after you and you were gone. So what happened to not letting a guy get in between us? Are you really that desperate?
Vanessa: Are you really that jealous, Jenny?
Jenny: Oh my god!
Vanessa: I’m sorry you found out this way. I am. But since you have, you might as well know that Nate asked me to the ball tomorrow night. And I think I’m going to go.

Aaron: You okay with her coming tomorrow?
Serena: Yeah. It’s a little When Harry Met Crazy but as long as Dan’s fine with it, then—
Aaron: I’m guessing Dan will end up being more than fine with it.
Serena: Meaning?
Aaron: Lexi likes to sleep with guys on the first date. She claims it’s a political statement against male-dominated sexual hypocrisy. Or something.
Serena: Can’t she just vote?

Chuck: Taking off?
Bart: Morning meeting in Miami. I should be back tomorrow.
Chuck: Sure that’s wise? Seems to me the old marriage thermostat is headed south of late.
Bart: And whose fault is that? Thanksgiving was a disaster because of those files. And you think I don’t know who had the combination to that safe? Every time I think we’re making progress you show your true colors.

Penelope: Jenny, Isabel’s dress looks a little like one of yours, don’t you think?
Jenny: No. I know about a little something called lining.
Penelope: Well what if you didn’t?

Vanessa: Jenny. What are you doing here?
Jenny: I’m still mad at you.
Vanessa: So what, you’re going to kill me and put me in the garment bag?
Jenny: I couldn’t sleep last night. I was up half the night making this before I realized who it was for.
Vanessa: You made that for me?
Jenny: Yeah. I mean, um, I said some pretty awful things ’cause I was hurt. So I guess just consider this a peace offering. You’ll look great.

Blair: I thought I made it clear that we need to find Chuck the perfect date. Kirsten Curran is the loosest girl in our class. Don’t you know Chuck doesn’t like his fruit pre-picked?
Dorota: She has long hair. In Poland long hair symbolizes—
Blair: And Elizabeth Phillips is somewhere between Mormon and moron. How did you come up with these?
Dorota: Facebook. I join few groups.
Blair: This has to be Chuck’s dream girl. Intelligent but not a bookworm. Strong-willed but still feminine. An equal. And he likes brunettes. With deep brown eyes.
Dorota: But Miss Blair, that’s you.
Blair: No. That girl is out there. And you better hope for your sake that I find her!
Dorota: Please, I don’t want to shine Mr. Chuck’s shoes for a month.
Blair: Yeah, his shoes if you’re lucky.
Dorota: What?
Blair: Nothing.

Penelope: Where is she? How long does that subway thing take?

Nate: Jenny. Did you do that to Vanessa?
Jenny: Yeah. You don’t understand, okay? She completely—
Nate: She what? She lied? She went behind your back? So what? For that she deserved to be publicly humiliated? She’s your friend, Jenny. You know, there’s no reason to tell you this now, but I wrote you this letter after the fashion show. Telling you I had feelings for you.
Jenny: I never got that.
Nate: I know. Vanessa stole it. But she felt so bad about it she came and told me the truth.
Jenny: Okay, look. I know what you must think of me right now. But if I had gotten—
Nate: I’m glad you didn’t. Honestly? You’re not who I thought you were.

Bart: As much as I appreciate company from the airport, I thought I made myself clear: your services are no longer required.
Andrew Tyler: You gave me a final assignment. And trust me, you do want to know what I found out.

Nate: Vanessa! Wait. You stole my letter.
Vanessa: I know.
Nate: Is there anything else you want to tell me?
Vanessa: Pretty sure that was it.
Nate: You said you never felt this way about anyone before. Was that true?
Vanessa: Does it matter?
Nate: Okay, listen. After all we’ve been through, when you walked away tonight all I could think was “She’s the one I want to be with.” So yeah, it matters.
Vanessa: That’s easy for you to say. Because you didn’t just pull a Janet Jackson at the Snowflake Ball.

O Brother, Where Bart Thou?

Cecilia: Ah! Come. Eat. You need your strength.
Serena: I’m not hungry.
Eric: I’m saving room for later.
Cecilia: In times of great uncertainties it’s even more important that we continue our daily rituals.
Serena: You haven’t eaten a Cheerio since you’ve been here.
Eric: And we know that’s gin in your coffee cup.
Cecilia: My point exactly. Life must go on. As it always has.

Lily: Mother if you want to talk now is not the time.
Cecilia: What does Chuck know?
Lily: Did you not hear what I just said?
Cecilia: He knows something about you and Rufus. You should find out what.
Lily: Mother, I just came from burying my husband. I don’t have the time, inclination or frankly the mental capacity to go head-to-head with Chuck. And what he knew he already told Bart. So there’s nothing to worry about now is there?
Cecilia: Let’s hope not. But you won’t know until you talk to him I saw him head up the stairs.

Blair: I told Chuck I love him.
Cyrus: Really? That’s wonderful.
Blair: No it’s not. It’s horrible. I thought that if I could finally say it that everything would change but he’s jut as selfish and soulless as ever. Only a masochist could ever love such a narcissist. Help me.
Cyrus: You don’t need help. He just needs time. He hugs her.
Blair: Wait, not enough. She hugs him tighter
Cyrus: Don’t worry. It’ll all be okay. You’ll see dear.

Cecilia: What are you going to do about the fact that you’re in love with Rufus Humphrey?
Lily: Well I’m not sure I’m going to do anything. At least not right away.
Cecilia: So you are in love with him. I was fishing.
Lily: Well. You caught me. Considering the circumstances I have tried with all of my strength to fight it. It is a curse I do not wish on my worst enemy. But. I love Rufus.
Serena: So that’s why Chuck was so upset.

Tyler: Congratulations. You’re the high bidder. The only bidder, actually.
Chuck: Well if Lily didn’t spend every dollar she has maybe it’s not worth it.
Tyler: I was dealing with her mother. She said Lily wanted to stop hiding her past, come clean.
Chuck: Well. Tell me what’s the point in paying to know something if she’s gong to tell everyone anyway.
Tyler: Maybe there is none. But you’re about to become the richest kid in New York. If I were you I’d want to make that decision myself.

Rufus: This can’t be good. Ceci.
Cecilia: Rufus.
Rufus: I’m actually on my way out if you don’t mind.
Cecilia: There’s something you need to know.
Rufus: Isn’t there always when you’re around.
Cecilia: Throughout my whole life the only thing I’ve ever wanted is my daughter’s happiness. My means to achieving might shift with time but my goal remains the same.
Rufus: Uh, since this about Lily she could be the one to tell—or not tell me. I won’t allow your meddling to come between us again.
Cecilia: I gave her a chance to tell you, she didn’t take it. In fact she asked me to pay a lot of money to make the problem go away.
Rufus: But you didn’t do that, did you.
Cecilia: The real problem is that she’s in love with you.
Rufus: Why is that a problem?
Cecilia: Because so long as she holds on to this, the two of you don’t have a chance in hell of making this work. I want you to have this chance. Don’t you?