Blair: Dorota, these martinis taste like tap water. Don’t be a Scrooge with the gin.
Dorota: Ms. Blair. This not right. Mr. Chuck and I both of the opinion—
Blair: And who cares what you and Mr. Chuck think?
Dorota: I call the Sonic Youths. They in North Hampton. Will try to make it.
Serena: Acceptable. Hey Jenny, you okay? You’ve been working on that dress all night.
Jenny: Yeah. It’s like my own Project Runway challenge.
Dorota: I’m not talking with Vanya. Now he not stop calling. And texting. Tweeting. Writing on Wall.
Dorota: I should sleep early too. I agreed to work at Miss Lily’s tomorrow. Big Thanksgiving for them all the sudden. But she offered me time-and-a-half, so…
Dorota: You don’t understand—we’re not married. My parents start next Polish-Soviet war. Russians once again not victors, believe me.
Dorota: Miss Blair you have no friends. Even NYU minions very second rate.
Vanya: Hello Dorota!
Dorota: What are you doing here? I will be killed if someone finds me.
Vanya: Why would somebody kill you? Anti-loyalists from Russia?
Dorota: No. In game.
Vanya: Then I must do something before you die. Dorota, from the first moment I saw you, I knew you were princess. And everyday you make me feel like king. Will you—
Dorota: Yes yes! Of course I will marry you.
Dorota: Some day maybe you girls find true love too. And your children not grow up to be bastards.
Eleanor: Dorota. What on earth is going on?
Dorota: I am sorry, Miss Eleanor, Mr. Cyrus. That was my mother. She come with Father to New York on Monday.
Cyrus: But that’s wonderful! I can’t wait to meet them. Maybe we could all go have the vodka flight at the Russian Samovar.
Dorota: We go nowhere once they see me. My parents don’t know I’m pregnant. And since I’m not married they will disown me. Or worse. They will kidnap and take back to Old Country.
Dorota: Every marriage I know fail if wedding has no tradition. Where did you and Mr. Harold get married?
Eleanor: I don’t think that’s the reason the marriage didn’t work out.
Dorota: Please. Miss Blair, Mr. Chuck. Will you be happy couple for Vanya and me?
Chuck: Well I can’t speak for Blair but it would be my great pleasure.
Dorota: Miss Blair, you go down!
Dorota: I came to America to start new life, to make new traditions. And lucky for me, I find great people to do this with. I find my family.
Blair: When I saw how happy you and Vanya are, I realized how unhappy I am.
Dorota: I wish you to be like me one day. To find right love— good love. Don’t need you to be happy couple, Miss Blair. I just need you to be happy.
Dorota: In Poland we have a saying: “Love is like head wound.” It make you dizzy. You think you die, but you recover. Usually.
Blair: That’s a terrible saying. pause. Tomorrow can we feed the ducks?
Dorota: I already buy bread.
Will: So I hope you’ll all join me for this Doctors Without Borders gala tomorrow at Columbia. I must admit I feel a bit silly about the whole thing. Clearly Columbia has run out of alumni to honor if the best they could come up with is me.
Eric: False humility: check.
Blair: I need to make sure that whatever happens, I don’t go anywhere near that stupid Art Deco landmark.
Dorota: Miss Blair, I defriend Mr. Chuck in Facebook and in life. But this is pretty romantic thing he’s doing. If not going means never having Chuck in your life again are you prepared to live like that?
Blair: Yes. But even if I’m not, if you let me go anywhere near 34th Street there won’t be a miracle but a massacre.