Doctor Who Series 7

Pond Life


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Part 1 – April

The Doctor: Hello Ponds! Checking in. How are you? Not much to report. Surfed the Firefalls of Floradal 9. Not deliberately, just the easiest way out. Met Mata Hari at a Paris Hotel room. What an interesting woman. Laid down some backing vocals. I should be with you any day now—literally any day. Helmic regulators playing up. Can’t get the temporal steering right. Oh dear. I appear to have collided with Ancient Greece. {screaming}

Amy toasting: The Doctor.

Part 2 – May

The Doctor bursting in: Stop everything!
Rory: What’s going on?
Amy: Doctor, bedroom!
Rory: We have a rule about the bedroom.
The Doctor: No one on this planet is safe right now. We have to solve this before it’s too late. Get your clothes on. If we move fast enough we at least stand a chance and you have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?
Both: No.
The Doctor: Oh, helmic regulator again! Too early! Wrong point! As you were!
Amy: Doctor, you can’t just go like that. What’s happening? Don’t we need to know?
The Doctor: Popped up in the wrong order. Easy mistake to make. Nothing to alarm you. Forget I was ever here. I’ll be back soon enough I would have thought. Everything’s fine. Pretty much. Don’t worry about the future. The future’s really… safe. … Really really safe. Sleep well. {he leaves}
Rory: I really hate it when he does that.

Part 3 – June

Rory walking into the bathroom: Woah! {he runs back out}
Amy: Out of the way, Mr. Pond. {he won’t let her pass} What? Why not?
Ood: May I be of any assistance?
Rory: Ood in the loo.
Amy: Yeah.

Part 4 – July

The Doctor: Ood! Yes! I was wondering where he’d got to. I thought he’d just gone for a walk in the TARDIS. Must have wandered off when I popped in the other night. If it was the other night. You know, I rescued him from the middle of the Androvax Conflict. I was taking him back to the Oodsphere. Anyway he’s not being a nuisance, is he?
Ood handing Rory his lunchbox: Enjoy your workday experience.
Rory: Doctor. Doctor— He, um, he seems to think that he’s our butler.
The Doctor: He’s conditioned to serve! You know the best thing is, let him do just that. I’ll come and pick him up tonight. Whenever tonight is. {alarms sound} Oh no, gotta go. Power drain’s threatening to cause the TARDIS to implode. Oh no, that’s bad. {to the TARDIS} Why are you doing that? No no no! Don’t do that!
Ood: Your infusions. How else may I be of service?
Rory: I feel so guilty.
Amy: Just eat your breakfast.

Part 5 – August

The Doctor leaving a message: Ponds. Me again. Sorry about the gaps in communications. Dropped your Ood back home. Reconnected it to the hive mind. Helmic regulator’s still not working. Got hit by an arrow at Hastings Hill. Also, rode a horse through eleventh century Coventry. Also I think I may have accidentally invented pasta. I popped ’round but you were out. Which is fine. Everything’s alright, isn’t it? With you two? Of course it is. Ponds, always fine. Just worrying unnecessarily. Anyway just call me if you need me. Okay. Toodle pip. {he thinks better of it}
Answering Machine Lady: Message deleted.
Amy: We need you, Raggedy Man. I need you.