Being Human Series 4

Hold the Front Page

2012.03.04    

Andrew Gower  Craig Roberts  Ella Ainsworth  Sacha Dhawan  Selina Griffiths

6 months earlier

Henrietta (Ella Ainsworth): Adam! Am I prettier in glasses or contacts!
Adam Jacobs (Craig Roberts): Ah. Your face is a poem. Your voice is wine and your eyes are a symphony. And you have spectacular jubblies.

Annie: Go on. It’s fine. Let him in. It’s definitely not the Nemesis. He’s way too much of a knob for that.

Adam: Who the hell are you?
Hal: Who the bloody hell are you?

Yvonne Bradshaw (Selina Griffiths): Put some clothes on, man. This isn’t The Jungle Book.

Adam: So where’s George and the others?
Hal: I’m afraid they died.
Adam: Oh, Annie. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?
Annie: No. No, not really. Um, thank you. Thanks.

Yvonne: Now. Sorry for imposing on you like this. And apologies too for the other trouble that’s bound to follow.
Hal: What trouble?
Yvonne: You, dear. Men, dear.

Adam: Alright, Littlest Hobo. Drop.

Yvonne: I believe in modern parlance, one might say we are on the run.
Annie: Why? What have you done?
Adam: Her.
Yvonne: Adam!
Adam: Oh, right. Sorry Miss.

Yvonne: Adam and I are in love.
Annie: You’re in love?
Adam: Uh huh. I see you, baby. And there’s nothing going on down there. What do you think of that?
Annie: I’d rather not.

Adam: That Brad Pitt guy. He was all over you like a rash, wasn’t he? Tell ’em.
Yvonne: He was filming in the school chapel. We were introduced and… Well, all I can say is he has a lovely trailer. Oh and surprisingly small hands.

Yvonne: Age is merely a number. And what matter lies in the heart. Sadly, the press didn’t see it that way. And the headlines have been positively purple.
Adam: Yeah. Sordid School Mistress Seduces Student.
Yvonne: If one of my girls had been using sloppy alliteration like that in an essay, I’d be speaking to the parents.

Yvonne: You’re a vampire.
Adam: So’s he.
Yvonne: And Thomas is a werewolf. And Annie is a ghost. And you’re actually forty-seven.
Adam: Mm hm. For my twelfth birthday I got an Etch-a-Sketch. Our school gym was opened by Suzie Quatro.
Yvonne: Adam if you wish to terminate our relationship, please just say so rather than insult my intelligence with this bunkum.
Adam: No, it’s not—
Yvonne: I have abandoned everything for you. My job. My home. My reputation. I implore you, do not repay me with this.

Adam: So I hear you’re an Old One. Color me impressed.

Pete Travis (Sacha Dhawan): Come on, guys. This is ridiculous. Talk to me.
Tom: No one’s in!

Annie: Just threaten him, and find out what he knows.
Hal: I’m not your bloody henchman.

Cutler (Andrew Gower): You’re right.
Pete: What?
Cutler: I know what you’re saying. And you’re right. Tom McNair was kicking the crap out of a vampire. Isn’t that what you wanted to hear? Now the thing is, Pete, now they aren’t the real problem. Now some of them are predators, sure. But most, they need normal lives, manage their condition, live anonymously. No harm done, No, the ones you want to be scared of are the werewolves.
Pete: Shut up.
Cutler: Hey, if you have as much evidence as you say then somewhere you’ll hear a whisper about werewolves.
Pete: Yeah… I just… I didn’t believe it.
Cutler: So. Vampires are fine. But werewolves are stretching it a bit.

Hal: Is it me or is there something very strange about her?
Annie: Besides the fact that she’s completely delusional? All that stuff about “Kriss Akabusi chased me around Morrisons!”. Please. You know when I was sixteen a photographer told me I was pretty enough to be in a catalog. Yeah. A catalog, Hal. You don’t hear me going on about it.
Hal: I’ve only been here a few weeks, you’ve already told me twice.
Annie: And another thing, how come she can see me? Hal? Hal!

Annie: What’s wrong with you?
Hal: Yvonne. She’s a succubus.

Yvonne: I can’t believe it, Annie. If I accept that then I have to accept what I am too!

Yvonne: Mother hardly spoke about my father. Simply said that he was beautiful and cruel. A demon, you say? So all these men who pursue me, they don’t actually like me. They’re just under some damn silly spell. Even… even Adam.
Annie: Probably, yeah.
Yvonne: But I love him. I really do. For the first time in my life I genuinely love someone.

Adam: What about the reporters?
Annie: Thought about that. We’re gonna swaddle.

Adam: Hey, I’m in no hurry. What happens under the jumper, stays under the jumper. Hey, can you feel that?
Annie: Adam! Shut up. Hal was right!
Adam: What do you mean?
Annie: The spell’s warn off already.

Pete: Here’s a funny thing. You couldn’t come into my room until I invited you. Why was that, Mr. Cutler?

Annie: What’s it going to be? Good Cop, Bad Cop? Or I could be Good Cop suddenly turned Crazy Psycho Ghost Cop. What do you think?

Annie: Hal, cover your eyes. There’s a cross.
Hal: I’m an Old One. Crosses don’t affect us.

Yvonne: Please don’t blame me.
Tom: I won’t blame you for anything.
Yvonne: I’m going to kill you tonight, dear Tom. I have to. It’s what I am.
Tom: That’s what I love about you.
Yvonne: You’re sweet.
Tom: And you’re gorgeous.

Adam: Don’t open the door. I’ll be under your bloody spell again. I just want to talk to you straight. okay?
Yvonne: Yes. Tell me straight.
Adam: Saw you on telly. You looked lush.
Yvonne: That’s just the spell talking.
Adam: I saw what you said. You’re not a monster.
Yvonne: But I am.
Adam: No you’re not. You’re lonely. I was lonely before I met you.
Yvonne: I tricked you, Adam.
Adam: Yeah but not on purpose.

Adam: I hate being a vampire.
Yvonne: I hate being a succubus.
Adam: We’re both trapped. We should be trapped together.

Adam: With you I felt safe. All the hunger and the anger went away. I felt loved. And I loved you.
Yvonne: That was just a spell.
Adam: Yeah, but look now there’s no magic and I still love you.
Yvonne: We’re just afraid of being alone.
Adam: Yeah, well maybe that’s what love is. Just because we’re a bit rubbish and we’re cursed because of what we are doesn’t mean we can’t be happy.

Yvonne: Would you say goodbye to Tom for us.
Annie: Ah yes. And he’s really sorry that he couldn’t be here. He just thought it’d be better if he… hid.

Annie: Adam. That little twat. I’m really going to miss him.

Hal: Annie. I really was going to hurt that journalist.
Annie: And I wanted you to. That’s why I dragged you along with me. Ever since I killed Kirby I’ve wanted to do it again. It’s like a drug, isn’t it?