Yes, Then Zero Gossip Girl: This just in: due to a dumpster dive outside a well-known Fifth Avenue pre-war, it appears someone we know and love is in a family way. So this is your humble Gossip Girl issuing an APPB. Who could the mother of our next scandal be? Gossip Girl: At least this…

Yes, Then Zero Dan: Dad! What are you doing here? I thought you'd still be in London helping Jenny set up St. Martin's. Rufus: She and Eric kicked me out when I didn't know who Sierra Burton was, so I came back here early and thought I'd spend some time with you. Dan: It's Blair's…

Yes, Then Zero Nate: Hi. I don't believe we've met. I'm Nate Archibald. And you are? Chuck: Waiting for me. Chuck: Anything for me? Nate: Nope. Chuck: Well if you hear anything crazy it means I'm doing something right. Serena: Woah. Usually when you smile like this you look like a creepy Cheshire Cat. But…

Yes, Then Zero Louis: How does it feel to be home? Blair: Oh, it's going to be tough reacclimating after living in a palace. How will the penthouse do? But maybe we should skip the wedding planning and pull the blinds and just spend the day in bed. Louis: We did that all summer. But…

Yes, Then Zero Dorota: How about some cold Prosecco to kill the pain. Beauty and the Feast Blair: Are you sure this doctor is reputable? Your prenatal care is imperative. Dorota: You never care about my womb before. Doctor: You two should work this out. Dorota can come back another time. Alone. Blair: I'm sorry.…

Dan: Dad! What are you doing here? I thought you'd still be in London helping Jenny set up St. Martin's. Rufus: She and Eric kicked me out when I didn't know who Sierra Burton was, so I came back here early and thought I'd spend some time with you. Dan: It's Blair's Save the Date.…

Yes, Then Zero Serena: Marshall, remember when you said I could observe filming one day before the shoot was over? Marshall (Ethan Peck): Shoot's not over 'till next week. Serena: How did you guys end up here? And who's boat is this? Nate: This is Allegra Versace's. Chuck won it in a poker game in…

Yes, Then Zero Dan: Dad! What are you doing here? I thought you'd still be in London helping Jenny set up St. Martin's. Rufus: She and Eric kicked me out when I didn't know who Sierra Burton was, so I came back here early and thought I'd spend some time with you. Dan: It's Blair's…

Yes, Then Zero David Russell: Loosen up. Enjoy it a little bit. Just because you're in white tie doesn't mean you can't be dirty and drunk. That's how these people were back then. Serena: Marshall, remember when you said I could observe filming one day before the shoot was over? Marshall (Ethan Peck): Shoot's not…

Serena: Well at least now we know why Charlie's been acting so unbalanced. Vanessa (Jessica Szohr): Yeah. Because she is. Serena: You know this isn't her fault. She needs help. The last time that this happened she ended up wandering through the snow in her bare feet. Vanessa: Yeah. After she Single White Female'd her…

Gossip Girl: Good morning, Sleepyheads. Looks like "dream until your dreams come true" wasn't such a good idea after all. Chuck: So I thought I'd bring some luxury across the river. Brooklyn needs it. It's all bars, bakeries and babies. No hotel in sight. Charles Place. You up to attend the ribbon cutting? Nate: No…

Gossip Girl: Once upon a time in the land called Upper East, a beautiful girl met a beast. Gossip Girl: But while the beast locked himself in a tower of ennui, the girl found herself a prince. His name? Blair: If you'll excuse me, there's a tart in my room I'd rather attend to. Serena:…

Gossip Girl: Diamonds are a girl's best friend. But ask any Upper East Side girl to show you her most prized possession and we bet the box is Vivier. Not Cartier. Serena: Hey Mom. We're back from our tour of the best pastry shops in Manhattan. Charlie (Kaylee DeFer): I did a Linzer tart taste…

Reporter: The van der Woodsen family is no stranger to the tabloids, but this time it appears the mother of all scandals surrounds the mother. Sources say that Lily Humphrey could be facing up to ten years in prison for forgery and obstruction of justice. That means her big lavish lifestyle— Blair: Turn that off!…

Rufus: We'll get through this. Lily: You sound so sure I almost believe you. Lawyer: They're ready for us. Rufus: I'll be waiting. Lawyer: Lily, this is Assistant District Attorney Vincent. He's going to be taking your statement. ADA Vincent: Whenever you're ready, Mrs. Humphrey. Gossip Girl: They say Rome wasn't built in a day.…