Gone Maybe Gone Dorota: Form follows function. Dirty Rotten Scandals Doctor: It seems as if you're suffering from severe exhaustion and dehydration. Have you been sleeping? Eating? Blair: Do I look like I've been eating? Don't insult me. Dorota: Miss Blair been running around like Rhesus monkey. She take no moment for eating or sleeping…

4 Months Ago Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg): Could it be any hotter? It's a good thing you're not fair-skinned, otherwise your summer under the Tuscan sun would end up under a scalpel removing a melanoma. Dan: I know it was my idea, but why did I bring you to Italy? I should be at the…

Gone Maybe Gone Serena: What the hell are you doing here? Blair: Ah, looking for you. Georgina: To observe and record. Nate: No, we're here to help you. Chuck: And get you home. Dan: And, ah, I don't even know what I'm doing here. {both Blair and Georgina smack him} Serena: Can't you see there's…

Gone Maybe Gone Rufus: Lily. What are you doing here? I thought you and Bart were circling the globe on an eighty-foot yacht. Lily: Well the yacht was a hundred and ten feet and most people who've actually been on one call it a boat. Rufus: I assume you didn't come all the way to…

Gone Maybe Gone 4 Months Ago Georgina Sparks: Could it be any hotter? It's a good thing you're not fair-skinned, otherwise your summer under the Tuscan sun would end up under a scalpel removing a melanoma. Dan: I know it was my idea, but why did I bring you to Italy? I should be at…

Gossip Girl: Good morning, Upper East Siders. How do you look today? You know image is everything. But under those perfect clothes and perfect smiles, everyone has their not-so-perfect secrets. Chuck: I take it you've decided to have Lola move in for the summer. Nate: She sleeps here every night, I want to see her…

Chuck: So the car accident was real? Bart (Robert John Burke): I was lucky to survive it. But it wasn't an accident. I'd been threatened. Chuck: By who? Bart: A very powerful competitor of mine. I had information on some transactions of his that could have put him away for a very long time. But…

Gossip Girl: They say in life there are two sides to every story. But on the Upper East, we always have three. There's his, hers—but the most important is always mine. Dorota: Miss Serena, all you do all day is type type type. You take laptop with you everywhere. It not healthy. Serena: Well after…

Gossip Girl: In our modern age there are so many ways for information to travel. And yet with all our tablets and smart phones, there are still some people who like to get their morning dish the old-fashioned way. Even without the Information Highway, good news always seems to travel fast. But bad news? Well,…

Gossip Girl: Even on the Upper East Side, the laws of physics dictate that what goes up, must come down. Even when it feels as if our feet are a million miles off the ground. But when we've hit rock bottom we hope that some way, some how, our fortunes will change. That a great…

Gossip Girl: Every once in a while a life-changing event will arrive with fanfare and excitement. Dorota: Miss Blair. Package from legal firm of Tierre, [?] and Booth. Blair: Divorce papers! Oh sweet legal freedom. Thank god. I thought Louis was going to drag this on forever. Dorota: Georgina move fast. What do you think…

Serena: Dear S by S readers, it looks like spring has finally sprung. And lucky for us, one thing that hasn't yet popped up is Gossip Girl. Hopefully my family's unfortunate exile to Brooklyn will pass quietly and with dignity. Lola (Ella Rae Peck): All I want to do is figure out if I fit…

Gossip Girl: They say we should carry our secrets to the grave. But on the Upper East Side secrets are one thing you can never bury. Even when we think we know everything about the ones we love, there's always a skeleton in their walk-in closet. Nate: What's got you in such a good mood?…

Gossip Girl: February is the shortest month, but the bitter chill makes it feel the longest. The smart ones, like me, escape to more tropical climates. While some of my Upper East Side friends use the time to hunker down and finish their work. Others snuggle up in bed with their agendas to keep them…

Gossip Girl: Another picture perfect Valentine's Day on the Upper East Side. And how am I going to celebrate? By exposing a giant secret today that's sure to break more than a few hearts. Dorota: Miss Blair! You're back! I was worried you'd be locked away in big stone tower somewhere, and only way to…