Claire.

Frank Pembleton

Season One Gee: Frank Pembleton. Frank Pembleton (Andre Braugher): Oh hello, Gee. Gee: This is a homicide office. What'd you do, get lost? Pembleton: I hear you've become a Yenta. Pembleton: Look Gee, a partner is the last thing I need, the way I work. Gee: Maybe the way you work is why you need…

Al “Gee” Giardello

Season One Al "Gee" Giardello (Yaphet Kotto) showing Bayliss around: The Box. Where we match wits against the city's master criminals. There's one of the masters. The Fishbowl. Wherein said criminals reflect on the error of their ways. The Board. Open cases are in red, closed cases are in black. You look up there, you…

Season 4

Season 4 Kamp Krusty This punishment is not boring and pointless Miss Hoover: Here are your final report cards. I have nothing left to say to any of you. So if nobody minds let’s just quietly run out the clock. Teacher as the kids rush out with the bell: Wait a minute! You didn't learn…

Season 3

Stark Raving Dad I am not a dentist Homer: Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different. Mr. Burns: Spare me the tiresome antics of the Simpson family! Lisa: Meditations on Turning Eight by Lisa Simpson I had a cat named Snowball. She…

Troy McClure

Cry, Yuma Here Comes the Coast Guard! The Greatest Story Ever Hula'ed They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall Meet Joe Blow Give My Remains to Broadway The Verdict Was Mail Fraud Leper in the Back Field Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off! Gladys the Groovy Mule Today We Kill, Tomorrow…

Treehouse of Horror

Treehouse of Horror Marge: Hello, everyone. You know, Halloween is a very strange holiday. Personally, I don't understand it. Kids worshipping ghosts, pretending to be devils. Things on TV that are completely inappropriate for young viewers. Things like the following half-hour! Nothing seems to bother my kids, but tonight's show—which I totally wash my hands…

Season 2

Bart Gets an F I will not encourage others to fly. Mrs. Krabappel: There were moments when I truly believed you were Hemingway. Bravo, Martin. Martin Prince: Oh please. Call me Papa. Mrs. Krabappel: Bart, did you read the book? Bart: Mrs. Krabappel, I am insulted! Is this a book report or witch hunt? I…

Blackboard Quotes

Season 1 I will not waste chalk I will not skateboard in the halls I will not burp in class Season 2 I will not fake my way through life Tar is not a plaything Season 3 I will not squeak chalk I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge Season 4 I will not…

Celebrity Guests

Season 1 Homer: Is that a good siren? Am I approved? Cowboy Bob (A. Brooks): You ever known a siren to be good? No, Mr. Simpson, it's not. It's a bad siren. That's the computer in case I went blind telling me, "Sell the vehicle to this fellah and you're out of business." Cowboy Bob:…

Springfieldians

Season 1 Patty: It's almost nine o'clock. Selma: Where is Homer anyway? Patty: It's so typical of the big doofus to spoil it all. Lisa: What, Aunt Patty? Patty: Oh nothing, dear. I'm just trashing your father. Lisa: Well, I wish that you wouldn't. Because, aside from the fact that he has the same frailties…

Marge Simpson

Season 1 Marge: I don't want to alarm anybody, but I think there's a little al-key-hol in this punch. Homer: I'm sorry, Marge, but sometimes I think we're the worst family in town. Marge: Maybe we should move to a larger community. Marge: I didn't realize there was so much to this game. What do…

Lisa Simpson

Season 1 Patty: It's almost nine o'clock. Selma: Where is Homer anyway? Patty: It's so typical of the big doofus to spoil it all. Lisa: What, Aunt Patty? Patty: Oh nothing, dear. I'm just trashing your father. Lisa: Well, I wish that you wouldn't. Because, aside from the fact that he has the same frailties…

Season 1

Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire Bart: There's only one fat guy that brings us presents and his name ain't Santa. Homer: Oo, look! Pantyhose. Practical and alluring. Homer reciting reindeer names: Dasher... Dancer... Prancer... Nixon... Comet and Cupid... Donna Dixon? Teacher: Sit down, Simpson. Homer: What do you think, kids? Beauty isn't it? Selma:…

Homer Simpson

Season 1 Homer: Oo, look! Pantyhose. Practical and alluring. Marge: Bart, this is a big day for you. Why don't you eat something a little more nutritious. Homer: Nonsense, Marge. Frosty Krusty Flakes are what got him where he is today. It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. Homer:…

Bart Simpson

Season 1 Bart: There's only one fat guy that brings us presents and his name ain't Santa. Bart: KWYJIBO. K-W-Y-J-I-B-O. Twenty-two points. Plus triple word score. Plus fifty points for using all my letters. Game's over, I'm outta here. Homer: Wait a minute, you little cheater! You're not going anywhere until you tell me what…