After Tuesday’s Lennon/McCartney night on American Idol (an evening of butchery on such a cataclysmic scale I now mark it as a sure sign of the apocalypse) I thought I would avoid it tonight by fastforwarding through the repeat performances. And my ears were safe until I happened upon a disheartening thing—the butchering of a Cake song. Not, to be clear, anywhere near as disheartening as the previous evening. Not one of my favorite Cake songs. But still just annoying all the same. Stick to ELO and Whitney covers.

Whatever. I should stop watching. The contestants are such throwaways with zero emotional range they all blend into a light tan ball of hair product and glitter. And Paula seems relatively sober this season, so Spot-the-Slurring is no longer fun.

Speaking of tattoos, the ever-lovely Saint Starlet has gotten one. Personally, I think it’s a little dark. And if I were her I’d want to keep my past misdeeds in the past. But I suppose it was either that or one of those teardrops in the corner of the eye. 

Fun Fact: If you look closely at the area about an inch above her new tattoo, you can faintly see the tattoo she got removed. Which, strangely enough, used to say “Hugger”.

In honor of her new tat, I have a song just for her:

Random Story: I had an ex-boss who would always try and throw slang into everyday conversation. Just to show that he was hip like that. But he was anything but hip and any attempt at it would just be full of fail. The man just was incapable of not being lame. From his wardrobe to his car to his life. It would almost be sad if it wasn’t so damn funny. Anyway, whenever he would talk about tattoos, he’d always call them “toos”. Like, “That guy had a really awesome ‘too.” And he’d pronounce it like “woooo”.

I would say it sounded rather gay when he said it, but no self-respecting gay man would ever sound that lame.

So as my old boss would say, “Slammin’ ‘toooo, Y!”