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2004.10.03    

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So Friday I had a goal. It was brilliant, I tell you.

I wanted to create and hone the most exceedingly random rant I could possibly come up with.

The idea was good. It was sound. And it was do-able.

I even thought up some random things to write about on the way home. Most rants evolve on my way home, for some reason.

So I got home, opened up my laptop, and got ready to write. Nothing.

I had nothing.

Fortunately, Saturdays are fabulous fodder for rants. Fodderific. And today was no exception. So, I will attempt to write The. Most. Random. Rant. Ever.

SON VOLT IS IN THE STUDIO!

Recording (hopefully) a new album. !!!! I knew that Jay always said that Son Volt was only on hiatus, but I assumed he was going solo for good and just being kind.

But no. Son Volt is back.

I just hope Mark Spencer is involved in the project.

And what about Boquist? He’s with Kraig Johnston last I heard.

Anyway: It’s a beautiful day in Minneapolis. The air is crisp. The people are out.

I love October. It’s my favorite month. And not just because my birthday is in October.

I can’t believe I turn 27 in less than ten days.

I’m watching the True Life about some football kid from St. Paul, and they’re showing a Subway that I think is next to my hairdresser’s shop on Grand. Woah.

Ack! Now they’re showing the Chipotle in Highland that we go to for lunch all the time.

RANDOM FACT: I once won a free burrito there for identifying the most ingredients in the guacamole.

Does anyone else think bodybuilding is both incredibly creepy and pointless? ‘Cause I do.

I respect and appreciate that MTV has a campaign going to get people to vote, but it’s annoying. Especially the “Vote or Die” portion. Vote or die? C’mon. No one’s gonna die because you don’t vote.

Killing animals and putting their heads on the wall is weird. And sick and creepy. Really creepy. Don’t kill things, kids. Just my $.02.

So how am I doing with randomness? I think pretty well. I’ll add to that:

I saw a teenager… well maybe not even a teenager. She looked 12. Anyway: I saw a girl wearing a miniskirt at the grocery store. And we’re talking MINI skirt. I’ve been seeing them more and more on young girls lately.

ATTENTION PARENTS: Do not sexualize your children. It’s gross. It’s creepy. And I find it weird.

Man. If my mom ever saw me wearing something that damn short she’d… well, my mom would never let me wear something that damn short. And I’m 26.

MORE RANDOM: Ted Allen is on Iron Chef American. As is Gunther from Friends. It’s quite weird seeing Ted. I must admit that he may be my favorite Queer Eye guy. And is Gunther a food guru? That would be cool.

Okay, it’s 2 am and I believe I have created the most random, rambling, boring rant ever. Having achieved my goal, I will retire for the evening.

Er, morning.