Seasons 1-3

Season One

Pilot

Julie Cooper: Oh honey, I thought you were going to wear your hair down. Pulled back like that, it’s a little harsh on your angles.
Jimmy Cooper: Okay, let’s go!
Julie: It’s going to be so amazing tonight. Are you going to wear the Donna Karan, Maris? I thought it was very forgiving.
Jimmy: You look beautiful, kid.

The Model Home

Jimmy: What’s the matter? You can tell me. We tell each other everything.
Marissa: Do we?

The Gamble

Jimmy: So. How’s your mother?
Seth: Ah, just… married.

Julie: You will not believe what Sandy Cohen said to me. He basically called me white trash. He said I was from Riverside!
Jimmy: Honey, you are from Riverside.
Julie: It was his tone!

The Outsider

Sandy: Listen I was thinking. How would you like some free legal advice?
Jimmy: You wanna be my lawyer? How long do you want to send me away for?
Sandy: I got way too big an ego for that.
Jimmy: Yeah, well. That’s true.
Sandy: No, I wouldn’t be representing you. I’ve got a friend who’s a securities attorney. But I could help you put together a case.
Jimmy: Why would you do that? You don’t even like me.
Sandy: Well I’m a public defender. I represent a lot of people I don’t like.

Jimmy: Look, I get it from my wife every day. My daughters won’t talk to me. I got my ass kicked in front of everyone at the most elegant event of the year—I get it, okay man? I definitely understand.

The Girlfriend

Jimmy: What do you— What do you want from me?
Julie: I think I want a divorce. I’m sorry, honey. I just don’t see any other way.

The Heights

Jimmy: Okay, so new oven. Haven’t quite figured out how to make French toast.
Summer: “Not in the oven” would be a good place to start.

Luke: Hey, Mr. Cooper.
Jimmy: Luke.
Luke: Yeah, So is this your new place? Looks great.
Jimmy: Not buying it, Luke.
Luke: Right.

The Best Chrismukkah Ever

Jimmy: Marissa and I were just trying to decide on an appropriate punishment.
Julie: Oh really? Well way to rule with the iron fist, Stalin.

The Links

Sandy: We can’t reschedule. The Lighthouse closes down tonight forever. It’s our last chance to get the best chicken parmesan in the business.
Jimmy: First the Lighthouse leaves Newport and then me. How poetic.
Sandy: What do you mean, you’re leaving?
Jimmy: There’s nothing here for me. There’s no opportunities. There’s no second chances.

The Rivals

Sandy: Four years of law, fifteen years as a public defender so I could become Judge Judy.
Jimmy: Oh I hear she’s tough, but fair. I watch a lot of daytime TV.

The Heartbreak

Jimmy examining a package: Well there’s no ticking. So it can’t be from your mother.

The Goodbye Girl

Julie: Luke just came by to defrag my hard drive.
Jimmy: Okay.

The L.A.

Jimmy: When was the last time you took a look at the books?
Sandy: I don’t. That’s your job.
Jimmy: Well, we’ve basically blown through our entire budget.
Sandy: Wow, you’re really not so good at managing the money, are you Coop?
Jimmy: No. I’m really not.

Jimmy: My oasis is being violated. My happy place is very unhappy right now.

Jimmy: A man’s life comes down to a few decisive moments and maybe this meat loaf is one of them.

Club Owner: What are you, the dad?
Jimmy: What are you? The guy who’s my age and still thinks he’s 25?

The Nana

The Proposal

Sandy: I had no choice.
Jimmy: Yeah you did. You could have told me about Caleb and asked me to bow out.
Sandy: Like I said, I had no choice.

The Shower

Jimmy: Hailey was just over to help me fix my—
Hailey: Faucet!
Jimmy: My faucet. Which, remember it was leaking. And she’s an expert on plumbing.
Hailey: I should go. Now that the faucet is fixed.

Caleb: Besides, we’re family.
Jimmy: Right. Although, are we? I don’t know. I can’t keep track.

Kirsten: This is what Hailey does. She uses people to get back at me.
Jimmy: Kirsten, this isn’t about you.

The Strip

The Ties

Jimmy: Hey kiddo. What are you doing?
Marissa: Oh you know. Preparing to move into the House on Haunted Hill.

Jimmy: Hey, your mom has to wake up every morning and be Julie Cooper. That is punishment enough.

Season Two

The Distance

Julie: You two are still—?
Jimmy: Yeah, we’re doing great. She’s fantastic, sweet, limber. How about you and Caleb?
Julie: Not so limber.

The Way We Were

The New Kid on the Block

Julie: He’s in prison.
Jimmy: So, you’re gonna divorce him and take his kids.

Jimmy: The woman I married wouldn’t stand for that. Nobody puts Julie Cooper in a corner.

The New Era

Jimmy to Julie: I never heard you admit to having faults before. This is fun.

Kirsten: Oh, god. She just grazed an ass.
Jimmy: Ah, the not-so-subtle ass graze.

The SnO.C.

Julie: I was easier to love back then. I was beautiful and much nicer then.
Jimmy: Jules, c’mon. You’re still beautiful. and you were never that nice.

The Chrismukkah That Almost Wasn’t

The Family Ties

Jimmy: I’ve got terrible news, really. I’ve fallen in love with my ex-wife.
Sandy: You were married before Julie?
Kirsten: You’re in love with Julie?

Jimmy: You’re right. I need to learn how to be a real dad. So I’m… leaving.

The Dearly Beloved

Jimmy: Hey Jules.
Julie: Jimmy. What are you doing here?
Jimmy: Well you didn’t think I would leave you two alone during all of this, did you?

Hailey: So you moved to Hawaii. How is it?
Jimmy: It’s fantastic. You would not believe the North Shore.
Hailey: So I’ve heard.

Jimmy: What if I decided to stay? What if we gave it another shot? We’re both older and wiser now.
Julie: Well, I’m certainly wiser.

Season Three

Julie: C’mon. It’s okay for a prosecutor and defense attorney to have lemonade together. We’re all human beings here.
Jimmy: I’m not so sure with these guys.