Heart of Gold

Nandi (Melinda Cooper): We ain’t open for business.
Rance Burgess (Fredric Lehne): Shut up, whore.
Nandi: And you we don’t trade with at all, Rance Burgess. You’re no longer welcome in this establishment. You’ been told that.
Burgess: I’ve been told a great many things. I’m here for what’s mine.
Nandi: Ain’t nothing here belongs to you. You don’t get gone we’ll be well within our rights to drop you.
Burgess: The rights you got are the ones I give you.

Burgess: Petaline! It’s a good thing you haven’t left with my baby.
Petaline: This baby ain’t yours.
Burgess: So you keep saying. If this DNA is a match with mine, know: I will be back for my baby. And if I have to I’ll cut it outta ya.

Mal: You know not altogether wise, sneakin’ up on a fella when he’s handling his weapon.
Inara: I’m sure I’ve heard that said. But perhaps the dining area isn’t the place for this sort of thing.
Mal: What d’ya mean? It’s the only place with a table big enough.
Inara: Of course. In that case. Every well-bred petty crook knows that the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting.

Mal: This distress wouldn’t happen to be taking place in someone’s pants, would it?

Inara: It sounds like something this crew can handle. I can’t guarantee they’ll handle it particularly well, but—
Nandi: If they’ve got guns and brains at all.
Inara: They’ve got guns.

Inara: I suppose you heard most of that.
Mal: Only because I was eavesdropping.

Jayne: Don’t much know these folks. Don’t much care to.
Mal: They’re whores.
Jayne: I’m in.

Jayne: That’s the whorehouse?
Inara: Yes.
Jayne: How come it looks like a frozen dinner pack?

Nandi: I appreciate your coming.
Mal: Well any friend of Inara’s is a strictly business-like relationship of mine.

Kaylee: Look, they got boy whores. Isn’t that thoughtful?

Kaylee: Wash, tell me I’m pretty.
Wash: Were I unwed, I’d take you in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: ‘Cause I’m pretty?
Wash: ‘Cause you’re pretty.

Mal: Inara, think you can stoop to being on my arm?
Inara: Will you wash it first?

Nandi: Rance Burgess is just a man. And I won’t let any man take what’s mine. I doubt you’d do different in my position.
Mal: Well, Lady, I must say. You’re my kind of stupid.

Mal: You are a remarkable woman, you don’t mind my sayin’.
Nandi: Well as long as it’s you sayin’ it and not my fine rice wine.
Mal: Well it takes more than a few drinks to render my judgment blurry. What about you? Am I getting any prettier?
Nandi: By the minute.

Nandi: You okay with this?
Mal: I’m just waiting to see if I pass out. Long story.

Inara: One of the virtues of not being puritanical about sex is not feeling embarrassed afterwards. You should look into it.