The Pandorica Opens

France 1890

Doctor (Howard Lee): Vincent, can you hear me? Please!
Madame Vernet (Chrissie Cotterill): Thought nothing of drinking all around the town. Now the whole neighborhood has to listen to his screaming!
Doctor: He’s very ill, Madame Vernet.
Madame Vernet: Look at this. {shows him the latest painting} Even worse than his usual rubbish. What’s it supposed to be?

Cabinet War Rooms, London 1941

Bracewell (Bill Paterson): It was found behind the wall in an attic in France. It’s genuine. It’s a van Gogh.
Churchill (Ian McNeice): Why bring it to me?
Bracewell: Because it’s obviously a message. And you can see who it’s for.
Churchill: Can’t say I understand it.
Bracewell: You’re not supposed to understand it, Prime Minister. You’re supposed to deliver it.

Stormcage Containment Facility 5145

Guard (Joe Jacobs): Cell 46. The Doctor? You mean Dr. Song.
River Song: Give me that! Seriously, just give it to me. I’m entitled to phonecalls. {he gets the phone} Doctor?
Churchill: No. And neither are you. Where is he?
River Song: You’re phoning the Time Vortex. It doesn’t always work. But the TARDIS is smart. She’s rerouted the call. Talk quickly. This connection will last less than a minute.
Guard: Dr. Song! Are you finished with that?
River Song: You’re new here, aren’t you.
Guard: First day.
River Song: Then I’m very sorry.

The Royal Collection 5145

Liz Ten (Sophie Okonedo): This is the royal collection. And I’m the bloody Queen. What are you doing here?
River Song: It’s about the Doctor, mum.
You met him once, didn’t you? I know he came here.
Liz Ten: The Doctor?
River Song: He’s in trouble. I need to find him.
Liz Ten: Then why are you stealing a painting?
River Song: Look at it. I need to find the Doctor. And I need to show him this.

The Maldovarium 5145

Dorium Maldovar (Simon Fisher Becker): Well now. Word on the Mount is you’re looking for time travel.
River: Are you selling?
Dorium: A vortex manipulator. Fresh off the wrist of a handsome time agent. {he looks in the box} I said off the wrist. Not cheap, Dr. Song. Have you brought me a pretty toy?
River: This is a Calisto Pulse. It can disarm micro-explosives from up to twenty feet.
Dorium: What kind of micro-explosives?
River: The kind I just put in your wine.

The Doctor: I can’t believe I never thought of this before. It’s genius! Right. Landed. Come on.
Amy: Where are we?
The Doctor: Planet Morg. The oldest planet in the universe. And there’s a cliff of pure diamond and according to legend on the cliff there’s writing. Letters fifty feet high. A message from the dawn of time. And no one knows what it says ’cause no one’s ever translated it. Until today.
Amy: What happens today?
The Doctor: Us.

The very first words in recorded history:
Hello Sweetie.

Amy: Right place?
The Doctor: Just followed the coordinates on the cliff face. Earth. Britain. One or 2 AM. {taps watch}. No, PM. No. A.D.
Amy: That’s a Roman legion.
The Doctor: Oh yeah. The Romans invaded Britain several times during this period.
Amy: Oh, I know. My favorite topic at school. “Invasion of the Hot Italians”. Yeah, I did get marked down for the title.

Roman soldier: Hail Caesar!
The Doctor: Hi.
Roman soldier: Welcome to Britain. We are honored by your presence.
The Doctor: Well. You’re only human. Arise… Roman person.
Amy: Why does he think you’re Caesar?
Roman soldier hallucinogenic lipstick smeared across his face: Cleopatra will see you now.

The Doctor: You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the Universe.
River: You wouldn’t answer your phone.

The Doctor: What’s this?
River: It’s a painting. Your friend Vincent. One of his final works. He had visions, didn’t he? I thought you ought to know about this one.

Amy: Why is it exploding?
River: I assume it’s some kind of warning.
Amy: Well something’s going to happen to the TARDIS.
River: It might not be that literal. Anyway, this is where he wanted you. Date and map reference on the door sign, see?
The Doctor: Does is have a title?
River: “The Pandorica Opens”.
Amy: The Pandorica. What is it?
River: A box. A cage. A prison. It was built to contain the most feared thing in all the whole Universe.
The Doctor: And it’s a fairy tale—a legend. It can’t be real!
River: If it is real it’s here and it’s opening. And it’s got something to do with your TARDIS exploding. Hidden obviously. Buried for centuries. You won’t find it on a map.
The Doctor: No, but if you bury the most dangerous thing in the Universe you’d want to remember where you put it.

Amy: Okay, this Pandorica thing. Last time we saw you, you warned us about it after we climbed out of the Byzantium.
River: Spoilers.
Amy: No, but you told the Doctor you’d see him again when the Pandorica opens.
River: Maybe I did. But I haven’t yet. But I will have. Doctor, I’m picking up Frye particles everywhere. Energy weapons discharged on this site.
The Doctor: If the Pandorica is here, it contains the mightiest warrior in history. Now half the galaxy would want a piece of that. Maybe even fight over it. We need to get down there.

The Doctor: The Underhenge

The Doctor: It’s the Pandorica.
River: More than just a fairy tale.

The Doctor: There was a goblin, or a trickster. Or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it or… reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.
Amy: How did it end up in there?
The Doctor: You know fairy tales. A good wizard tricked it.
River: I hate good wizards in fairy tales. They always turn out to be him.
Amy: So it’s kind of like Pandora’s Box then. Almost the same name.
The Doctor: Sorry, what?
Amy: The story. Pandora’s Box. With all the worst things in the world in it. That was my favorite book when I was a kid. {the Doctor is interested} What’s wrong?
The Doctor: Your favorite school topic, your favorite story. Never ignore a coincidence. Unless you’re busy. In which case always ignore a coincidence.

Amy: So can you open it?
The Doctor: Easily. Anyone can break into a prison but I’d rather know what I’m going to find first.
River: You won’t have long to wait. It’s already opening. There are layers and layers of security protocols in there and they’re being disabled one-by-one. Like it’s being unlocked from the inside.
The Doctor: How long do we have?
River: Hours at the most.
The Doctor: What kind of security?
River: Everything. Dead locks. Time stops. Matter lines. Who could need all that?
The Doctor: Who could get past all that?

The Doctor: Think of the fear that went into making this box. What could inspire that level of fear? Hello, you. Have we met?
River: So why would it start to open now?
The Doctor: No idea.
Amy: And how could Vincent have known about it? He won’t even have been born for centuries.

The Doctor: The stones. These stones are great big transmitters broadcasting a warning to everyone. Everywhere. To every time zone. “The Pandorica is opening.”
River: Doctor, everyone everywhere?
The Doctor: Even poor Vincent heard it in his dreams. But what’s in there? What could justify all this?
River: Doctor, everyone?
The Doctor: Anything that powerful I’d know about it. Why don’t I know?
River: Doctor. You said everyone could hear it. So who else is coming?
The Doctor: Oh.
Amy: Oh? Oh what?
River: Okay, if it is basically a transmitter we should be able to follow back the signal.
The Doctor: Doing it!
Amy: Doing what?
River: Stonehenge is transmitting. It’s been transmitting for awhile. So who heard?
The Doctor: Okay, should be feeding back to you now. River, what’s out there? Getting anything?
River: Give me a moment.
The Doctor: River, quickly! Anything?
River: Around this planet there are at least ten thousand starships.
Amy: At least?
River: Ten thousand. A hundred thousand. A million. I don’t know. There’s too many readings.
The Doctor: What kind of starships?
Dalek voice: Maintaining orbit.
Dalek voice: I obey.
Amy: Daleks. Those are Daleks.
River: Daleks, Doctor.
The Doctor: Yes, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Dalek fleet, minimum twelve thousand battleships armed to the teeth. Ah! But we’ve got surprise on our side. They’ll never expect three people to attack twelve thousand Dalek battleships ’cause we’d be killed instantly so it would be fairly short surprise. Forget surprise.
River: Doctor, Cyber ships.
The Doctor: No. Dalek ships. Listen to them. Those are Dalek ships.
River: Yes, Dalek ships and Cyber ships.

The Doctor: Well, we need to start a fire fight. Turn them on each other. I mean that’s easy. It’s the Daleks. They’re so cross.
River: Sontaran. Four battle fleets.
The Doctor: Sontarans. Talk about cross. Who stole all their handbags?
River: Terileptil. Slitheen. Chelonian. Nestene. Drahvin. Sycorax. Hemogoth. Zygon. Atraxi. Draconian. They’re all here. For the Pandorica!
The Doctor: What are you? What could you possibly be?

Amy: What do we do?
River: Doctor, listen to me. Everything that ever hated you is coming here tonight. You can’t win this. You can’t even fight it. Doctor, this once—just this one time—please, you have to run.
The Doctor: Run where?
River: Fight how?
The Doctor: The greatest military machine in the history of the Universe.
Amy: What is? The Daleks?
The Doctor: No. No no no no no. The Romans.

Roman Commander: So. I return to my command after one week and discover we’ve been playing host to Cleopatra. Who’s in Egypt. And dead.
River: Yes. Funny how things work out.
Roman Commander: The sky is falling and you make jokes. Who are you?
River: When you fight barbarians what must they think of you?
Roman Commander: Oh ho. Riddles now.
River: Where do they think you come from?
Roman Commander: A place moe deadly and more powerful and more impatient than their tiny minds can imagine. {River vaporizes a nearby shelf}
River: Where do I come from? Your world has visitors. You’re all barbarians now.

Amy: So what’s this got to do with the TARDIS?
The Doctor: Nothing. As far as I know.
Amy: But Vincent’s painting. The TARDIS was exploding. Is that going to happen?
The Doctor: One problem at a time. There’s forcefield technology inside this box. If I can enhance the signal I could extend it all over Stonehenge. Could buy us half an hour.
Amy: What good is half an hour?
The Doctor: There are fruit flies that live on Hoppledom Six. They live for twenty minutes and they don’t even mate for life. There’s going to be a point to that. I’ll get back to you.

Amy: So. Are you proposing to someone?
The Doctor: Sorry?
Amy: I found this in your pocket.
The Doctor: No. No no. That’s a memory. Friend of mine. Someone I lost. Would you… mind.
Amy: It’s weird. I feel… I dunno, something.
The Doctor: People fall out of the world sometimes but they always leave traces. Little things we can’t quite account for. Faces in photographs. Luggage. Half-eaten meals. Rings. Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely. And if something can be remembered it can come back.

The Doctor: Remember that night you flew away with me?
Amy: Of course I do.
The Doctor: And you asked me why I was taking you and I told you there wasn’t a reason. I was lying.
Amy: What, so you did have a reason?
The Doctor: Your house.
Amy: My house.
The Doctor: It was too big. Too many empty rooms. Does it ever bother you, Amy, that your life doesn’t make any sense?

The Doctor: Okay, I need a proper look. I’ve got to draw its fire, give it a target.
Amy: How?
The Doctor: You know how sometimes I have really brilliant ideas?
Amy: Yes.
The Doctor: Sorry. {jumps into the line of fire} “Look at me! I’m a target!”

Amy: What is that?
The Doctor: Cyberarm. Arm of a Cyberman.
Amy: And what’s a Cyberman?
The Doctor: Oh, sort of part-man, part-robot. The [?] part must have died out years ago. Now the robot part is looking for, well, fresh meat.
Amy: What, us?
The Doctor: It’s just like being an organ donor except you’re alive and sort of… screaming.

The Doctor about the arm: Stay where you are, it could be bluffing.

Headless Cyberman: You will be assimilated.
Amy: Yeah? You and who’s body? {she gets her answer}

The Doctor: Amy! Where’s Amy?
Rory: She’s fine, Doctor. Just unconscious.
The Doctor: Okay. Yes. She’s sedated, that’s all. Half an hour and she’ll be fine. Okay, Romans. Good! I was just wishing for Romans. Good old River. How many?
Rory: Fifty men up top, volunteers. What about that thing?
The Doctor: Fifty? You’re not exactly a Legion.
Rory: Your friend was very persuasive but, ah, it’s a tough sell.
The Doctor: Yes, I know that, Rory. I’m not exactly one to miss the obvious but we need everything we can get. Okay, Cyber weapons! This is basically a sentry box. So headless wonder here was a sentry. Probably got himself duffed up by the locals. Never underestimate a Celt.
Rory: Doctor—
The Doctor: Hush, Rory. Thinking. Why leave a Cyberman on guard unless it’s a Cyberthing in the box but why would they lock up one of their own? Okay, no, not a Cyberthing. But what? What? Oh! Missing something obvious, Rory. Something big. Something right slap in front of me. I can feel it.
Rory: Yeah. I think you probably are.
The Doctor: I’ll get it in a minute.

The Doctor: Hello again.
Rory: Hello.
The Doctor: How’ve you been?
Rory: Good, yeah. Good. I mean, Roman.
The Doctor: Rory, I’m not trying to be rude. But you died.
Rory: Yeah. I know. I was there.
The Doctor: You died and then you were erased from time. You didn’t just die, you were never born at all. You never existed.
Rory: Erased. What does that mean?
The Doctor: How can you be here?
Rory: I don’t know. It’s kind of fuzzy.
The Doctor: Fuzzy.
Rory: Well I died and turned into a Roman. It’s very distracting.

Rory: Did she miss me?

Rory: What is it? What’s happening?
The Doctor: The final phase. It’s opening.

River: You’re surrounded. Have you got a plan?
The Doctor: Yes, now hurry up and get the TARDIS here. I need equipment!

The Doctor: Hello Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica takes the Universe. But bad news everyone. ‘Cause guess who! Hah! Listen, you lot, you’re all whizzing about. It’s really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I. AM. TALKING! Now, the question of the hour is, who’s got the Pandorica? Answer: I do. Next question: Who’s coming to take it from me? Come on! Look at me! No plan, no back-up, no weapons worth a damn, oh, and something else. I don’t have anything to lose. So if you’re sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all your silly little guns and you’ve got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who’s standing in your way! Remember! Every black day I ever stopped you! And then! And then! Do the smart thing! Let somebody else try first.

The Doctor: That’ll keep them squabbling for half an hour. Romans.

Amy: My head.
The Doctor: Just your basic knock out drops. Get some fresh air, you’ll be fine.
Amy: Is it safe up there?
The Doctor: Not remotely. But it’s fresh. {she heads outside}
Amy: Oo! Oh you’re the guy, yeah? The one that did the swordy… thing.
The Doctor: Yep.
Amy: Well, thanks for the swording. Nice swording. {she walks off}
The Doctor: No problem.

Rory: She doesn’t remember me. How could she not remember me?
The Doctor: Because you never existed.

River to the TARDIS: What are you doing? What’s wrong?

The Doctor: From your point of view what physically happened?
Rory: I was in the cave with you and Amy. I was dying. And then I was just here. A Roman soldier. A proper Roman. Head full of Roman… stuff. A whole other life. Just here like I’d woken up from a dream. I started to think it was a dream. You, Amy and Leadworth. Then today, in the camp, the men were talking about visitors and the girl with the red hair. I thought you’d come back for me. But she can’t even remember me.
The Doctor: Oh shut up.
Rory: What? {The Doctor tosses him the ring}
The Doctor: Go get her.

Rory: But I don’t understand. Why am I here?
The Doctor: Because you are. The Universe is big. It’s vast and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes—very rarely—impossible things just happen and we call them miracles. And that’s the theory. Nine hundred years, never seen one yet. But this would do me. Now get upstairs. She’s Amy and she’s surrounded by Romans. I’m not sure history could take it.

Location: Earth
Date: 26/06/2010

River to the TARDIS: Why have you brought me here? {exploring the ground around Amy’s} Okay. So something’s been here. {seeing the Raggedy Doctor dolls} Amy. Oh Doctor. Why do I let you out.

Rory: You okay?
Amy: Did the Doctor send you? I’m fine! He just fusses.
Rory: You got a blanket. That’s good. Who gave you that?
Amy: One of the fellas.
Rory: Which one?
Amy: Just one of them. Does it matter?
Rory: No. No. Forget him. It! Forget it.
Amy: What’s your name?
Rory: I’m… Rory. What’s wrong?
Amy: Nothing. It’s just not what you’d expect Romans to be called. What’s it short for, Roronicus?
Rory: Yeah. You’re crying.

The Doctor: TARDIS. Where is it? Hurry up.
River: Don’t raise your voice. Don’t look alarmed. Just listen.

Rory: Hey, what’s wrong?
Amy: Nothing. It’s like… it’s like I’m happy.
Why am I happy?

River: They’re not real. They can’t be. They’re all right here in the storybook. Those actual Romans. The ones I sent you. The ones you’re with right now. They’re all in a book in Amy’s house. A children’s picturebook.
The Doctor: What are you even doing there?
River: It doesn’t matter—the TARDIS went wrong. Doctor, how is this possible?
The Doctor: Something’s using her memories, Amy’s memories.
River: But how?
The Doctor: You said something had been there.
River: Yes. There’s burn marks on the grass outside. Landing patterns.
The Doctor: If they’ve been through her house they could have used the psychic residue. Structures can hold memories. That’s why houses have ghosts. They could have taken a snapshot of Amy’s memories. But, but why?
River: Doctor, who are those Romans?
The Doctor: Projections. Or… duplicates.
River: But they were helping us. My lipstick even worked.
The Doctor: They might think they’re real. The perfect disguise. They actually believe their own cover story. Right until they’re activated.
River: Doctor, that centurion.

River: It’s a trap, it has to be. They used Amy to construct a scenario you’d believe. To get close to you.
The Doctor: Why? Who’d do that, what for? It doesn’t make sense! {the TARDIS starts up} River? River? What’s happening?
River: I don’t know. It’s the engines. Doctor, there’s something wrong with the TARDIS. Like something else is controlling it.
The Doctor: You’re flying it wrong.
River: I’m flying it perfectly. You taught me.
The Doctor: Where are you? What’s the date reading?
River: It’s the 26th of June, 2010.
The Doctor: You need to get out of there now. Any other time zone, just go.
River: I can’t break free.
The Doctor: Well then shut down the TARDIS. Shut down everything!
River: I can’t!
Overhead: Silence will fall! Silence will fall!

River: Someone else is flying it. An external force. I’ve lost control.
The Doctor: But how? Why? {the Pandorica starts emitting a high-pitched sound}
Listen to me, just land her. Emergency landing now. There are cracks in time. I’ve seen them everywhere, and they’re getting wider. The TARDIS exploding is what causes them but we can stop the cracks ever happening if you’d just land her.
River: It’s not safe!
{The Pandorica opens}
The Doctor: Well now. Ready to come out, are we?

Rory: Listen to me, you have to run. You have to get as far away from here as you can. I’m a thing, I’ll kill you. Just go! Please, no, I don’t want to go. I’m Rory! I’m… I’m…
Amy: Williams. Rory Williams from Leadworth. My boyfriend. How could I ever forget you?
Rory: You’ve got to run. I can’t hold on. I’m going!
Amy: You are Rory Williams and you aren’t going anywhere ever again.

The Doctor: Plastic Romans. Duplicates. Driven by the Nestene Consciousness, eh? Deep cover. But what for? What are you doing? What’s in there, eh? What’s coming out?
Soldier: The Pandorica is ready.
The Doctor: What, you mean it’s open?
Dalek: You have been scanned. Assessed. Understood. Doctor.

Sontaran: The Pandorica is ready!
The Doctor: Ready for what?
Dalek: Ready for you.

Amy: There it is. You remember. This is you and you are staying.
Rory: No. {he shoots her} No!

The Doctor: All you lot. Working together. An alliance. How is that possible?
Dalek: The cracks in the skin of the Universe.
Sontaran: All of reality is threatened.
Cyberman: All universes will be deleted.
The Doctor: What? And you’ve come to me for help?
Sontaran: No! We will save the Universe. From you!
The Doctor: From me?
Cyberman: All projections correlate. All evidence concurs. The Doctor will destroy the Universe.
The Doctor: No. No. No, you’ve got it wrong.
Cyberman: The Pandorica was constructed to ensure the safety of the alliance.
Dalek: A scenario was devised from the memories of your companion.
Sontaran: A trap the Doctor could not resist.
Dalek: The cracks in time are the work of the Doctor. It is confirmed.
The Doctor: No, no no. Not me. The TARDIS and I’m not in the TARDIS, am I?
Dalek: Only the Doctor can pilot the TARDIS.
The Doctor: Please! Listen to me!
Dalek: You will be prevented!
The Doctor: Total event collapse! Every sun will supernova at every moment in history. The whole universe will never have existed. Please! Listen to me!
Cyberman: Seal the Pandorica.
The Doctor: No, please listen to me! The TARDIS is exploding right now and I’m the only one who can stop it. Listen to me!

River: I’m sorry, my love. {the TARDIS console explodes behind her}